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My half brother took my grandmother who he hasn’t seen in 25 years to Arizona. Him and his wife have done nothing but lie to me about where she is . I love in Pittsburgh , Pa . all I want is the chance to talk to my grandmother as often as she wants. I have cried everyday for a week because of this. This was done sneaky behind my back .
My aunt & uncle were found in poor health in their home having no contact w/ family members for 2 years. They were given a caseworker in the state of Massachusetts until the state could make contact w/ family. Once we (family) found out this horrible news we got right on it and tried to talk them into going into assisted living.
They resisted us all the way saying they wanted to stay in their home until they died.
They both have been diagnosed w/ dementia (early Alzheimer’s) by their family physician.
My uncle has some wealth to him and no living relatives on his side of the family. My aunt has my mom her only living sibling left in her family who resides in another state. My mom contacted my sister and asked her to follow up w/ the state caseworker. My sister ended up (cold heartily) putting them in an assisted living against their wishes but before doing so she contacted an attorney to write up a
Will. The attorney met with them at their home along w/ my sisters & I.
My uncle & aunt were nervous but were asked by the attorney in one question what they would like to do with their home & assets upon their death? My aunt named her
sister and she is up there in age as well. My aunt & uncle are 90 & 91 her sister 85.
The attorney asked them to name an alternate because of the sister’s age. We then
proceeded asking them about naming a POA and a healthcare proxy. They had no
clue what that meant so with my explaining to them they named both my sisters.
There was no mentioning of a Trust. My uncle & aunt signed the paperwork and then
the lawyer never explaining to them wrote up a Realty Trust naming my sister sole Trustee. They & I were duped by both my sister an attorney as that was their motive to get my sister solely named as Trustee. I would have never allowed that to happen
as it should have been written up as a Living Estate leaving the house in my aunt &
uncle’s possession until they both died. They named me as the alternate beneficiary.
My sister’s and Mom thought that it should have been named as all 3 neices not just
myself as the alternate. I thinking that all 3 neices should be named asked the attorney to put it in all 3 neices names. He couldn’t do that as that is not what my aunt & uncle requested. He ended up putting on the Schedule Of Beneficiaries 100%
going to the sister & if she predeceases them 100% to myself and if I predease them as well he named both my sisters to receive 50% each.
My sister did not like the responsibility of caring for the house so she put it on the market. My uncle would be so upset with that decision. My sister said that she would
put the proceeds from the sale in my uncle’s account to use towards their assisted living cost as that is over $12,000 a month they have been moved to the memory care unit after living there for 1 year. My uncle thinks it is only costing him $1,000 a
month. We agreed not to tell him the truth as it would upset him and not make things
easy on the assisted living facility. I’m now regretting this whole scenario because my
sister sold the house and is giving the proceeds to our mother. My uncle & aunt’s wishes were for everything to be transferred AFTER their death NOT BEFORE. They both are still living and are very healthy except for the dementia. My uncle is going to be charged a Capitol Gains tax & the cost of the realtor & closing cost. My sister has also spent close to $12,000 in upkeep and plumbing work & taxes on the house since signing their names to the piece of paper.
My sister emailed me and said the trust gifted my mom the house on the day they signed the paper therefore the money from the sale should go to our mom. This is wrong because my uncle was presented by the attorney that all this would take place
after their death. It was deceit on my sister & the attorney.
This is all done out of hatred & disdained towards me they do not want me to inherit
any of it. I was the closest with my aunt & uncle through the years visiting them often
until I was in a serious car accident. I thought that my aunt & uncle were out traveling
as that is what they liked to do. They were free birds as they had no children. I myself
should have known something was wrong after not receiving a Christmas card w/ a sizeable monetary gift in it. I was the only one who would receive this every Christmas. The Trustee (sister) is my moms favorite always has been my whole life.
My mom is her little puppet and will go along with whatever my sister wants. I have let my sister & mom know how I feel that they duped my aunt & uncle. The sister is also named Executor of their Will. The Will is written up in the same manner as the
Schedule Of Beneficiaries as the Trust was written. I’m now waiting to hear that she does some misdeeds with the Will as well. I in a million years would have not thought
that my sister and my mom would be so deceitful I trusted them both. My aunt & uncle would disown them if they were in their right state of minds. It is Financial Elder Abuse in my book. I had no problems if my mom inherited everything as long as my aunt & uncle’s wishes were followed. My mom has not seen and barely talked to
my aunt in almost 30 years. She actually bad mouthed my aunt & uncle to me on several different occasions. If my aunt had known what my mom thought about her &
my uncle they would not have named her a beneficiary at all. I should have told them
everything but feel as though it would have hurt my aunt feelings.
The bottom line is make sure that the Attorney explains everything word to word to your love one before letting them sign any paperwork otherwise they could lose their
assets & properties. I feel like such a fool for trusting my mom & sister. I remember my
uncle turning to me after signing his name and saying geez I sure hope that I didn’t just give my house away. I assured him that he didn’t everything was contingent on their deaths and I would never let that happen.
The attorney who wrote this so call Trust up was fired by my sister about a year ago.
The new attorney has been brainwashed by my sister saying that I am no good and only after their money. It is not the truth because I had/ have no say in anything legal
concerning them. My aunt & uncle were very good to me over the years and I was/am their only advocate it’s my mom & sister who is after their assets and it is proven by
stealing their house from underneath them. So very sad!
My mother was a strong and independent woman and in good health in January of 2014. Then my sister after having a superficial relationship with our mother for almost 20 yrs. Showed up and took over her life. She drugged her with Ambient and convienced her to move to a Senior Apt complex where she lived. I was forbidden to see my mother. My sister claimed that I upset her when I spoke to her. Funny. Since I havent spoken to my Mother in 10 months. Her health steadily deteriorated over the next year without medical attention. She fell twice in her Apt. and then my sister put her in a Hospice Home. When I was finally able to visit my mother in the hospital in June 2015 , i could not believe my eyes. She was drugged so heavily and was unable to chew her food. When she was admitted to the Hospice House she complained of neglect. Then as I visited quite frequently, she seemed to be alot clearer of her surroundings and her overall condition. She asked my oldest boy to write down her requests and wanted the list send to my sister. Some of the things requested were 1) a warm blanket instead of a moving blanket. 2) her own phone so she could talk to people who called herself (she was tired of everyone telling her that there was no need to worry, everything was taken care of ) 3) she wanted to know where her purse was and wanted some cash money 4) she wanted a new doctor, a massage therapist. 5) she wanted to be moved to convalescent home. My sister didnt provide any of the requested items. On August 21st, 2015, I tried to RESCUE MY MOTHER, AFTER SHE STATED THAT THEY WERE ALL TRYING TO KILL HER. MY Sister falsified a California Health Care Directive that she gave to the police. The police officer said that the only reason I wasn’t going to jail was because he said the ink was still wet on the CHCD . But my sister was able to convince the police to return my mother to her possession and to the Hospice Home. My mother told the police she didnt want to be removed from my care. That she had made a mistake giving my sister Power of Attorney. But the police said my mother had “NO RIGHTS” and she had to do what my sister said. My sister got a restraining order against me. My mother died two months later while under my sisters care. Im assuming at my sisters house. I still dont know exactly how she died. My sister arranged a 30 minute viewing of my mother. Which actually was a 30 minute I.D.ing of her body. Then had her embalmed and 4months later cremated then secretly flew my mothers ashes to Colorafo To be buried with her mother. I tried to coordinate a service for my mother including all of our relatives in Colorado with my mothers sister but my sister has everyone in a hypnotic state and my aunt completely ignored my requests to be there when my mom was buried or for any service of any kind. Everything my sister did – All of her actions were directed to me. She has a physopathic personality. My sister had no love for our Mother and no remorse when she did. It was obvious in the way she handled her death. I strongly feel that she killed our mother. And now she has taken control of our mothers estate. She should be charged with elderly abuse and fraud. Who is her next victim. “HER HUSBAND” that just retired with a healthy pension plan. God I hope not.
I applaud Kerri for her efforts on behalf of those of us who have been denied the opportunity to visit ailing parents in the end stages of their lives.
After reading the March 16, 2016 LA Times article about Kerri’s and Catherine Falk’s foundations, I was moved to tell my brief story.
I, too, was forbidden access to my dying Mother’s bedside before she succumbed to stomach cancer in 1993. Although we had a long-term strained relationship, I desperately wanted to make peace with my Mother before she passed. It is, after all, never too late to forgive someone. My efforts were repeatedly blocked by a sister who told an uncle attempting to intercede on my behalf that she would “Make your life difficult for you” if I tried to visit my Mother.
I was ultimately told of my Mother’s death two weeks after her passing. To this day, some 23 years later, I have not been informed of when and where my Mother was buried. No family member should ever be allowed to block the visitation rights of someone attempting to see a parent who is in their final days of life.
Thank you, Kerri, for your noble efforts. Please continue the good fight!
I read the LA Times “Dad, dying” on 3/16/16 and researched the Kasem Care website. I have 4 close relatives that have been victimized with POA’s.
1-Father in law had living trust. Ten days after the death of his 3rd wife – his 3 stepdaughters took him to an attorney and convinced him to change the trust with a POA. The assets from his estate were re-allocated and my husband (his only child) was effectively “disinherited.” Due to my father-in-laws peculiar behavior, we asked to see a copy of the trust. He finally provided my husband with a copy. It was taken to an estate planning attorney who advised us that the POA gave all the assets and health care directives to his step daughters. The attorney advised the only recourse was a court battle. When my father-in-law was asked about the POA – he insisted it was not his signature (it was notarized by the attorney setting up the POA). He also claimed that the step sisters had promised to divide the property fairly with my husband. My father in-law was 84 years old and had dementia. The step daughters moved into his home – although promising to provide him care (meals & cleaning), it was never done. My father-in-law became depressed and hospice was called.
My husband was called too. The stepsisters wanted him present to conduct the death watch; they did not want that responsibility (they were adults when he married their mother). My husband complied and comforted his father who died shortly afterwards. The funeral was planned 2 days later and my husband was not advised or invited.
A court case ensued and $30k later, the step sisters prevailed. The POA was upheld by the Probate judge – the trust was superseded by a POA randomly drawn up by step relatives without his blood relative’s knowledge or consent.
I mistakenly shared this situation with my step-mother – you guessed it!!!!
2-Casey Kasem situation repeated, all done with a POA. My stepmother finally inherited from her mother and decided to travel the world. She put my father in a facility. I offered to take my Dad into our home – he had pre-Alzheimers. His only issue was forgetfulness – he was fully functional and had lived with us for 10 years already. My stepmother would not allow it and ceased communication with me except to reprimand me by email. She banned me from the facility and stated I could only have monitored visits in a common area. He could not leave the facility with me to take him to lunch. There was no communication with me from then on. The staff approached me and stated her demands were illegal but they had no choice – she controlled the $$. My father was placed in a Florida facility; my stepmother did provide me with a copy of the comprehensive POA. I am in CA; I did sneak visits to him but it became very expensive and cumbersome. We talked on the phone daily for several years. In the last conversation he insisted I come see him – he was adamant. I did not have the time or resources to do same. Two days later I was notified by email that he was being hospitalized with pneumonia. He died 2 weeks later at the age of 86, a very confused and lonely man. I was advised the funeral and burial were “private”. All this again done with a POA; no prior notification to his living relatives (the stepmother never raised us). I do understand that a spouse has precedence over children. I did not pursue this legally – too expensive and I learned my lesson with POA’s and Probate Court.
3-My brother is brain damaged from a car accident 40 years ago. He was living independently for 30 years. I filed a lawsuit and obtained a settlement for him which was placed in an irrevocable trust. My parents, along with my family, assisted my brother. Subsequently, my mother, who developed dementia was exploited by my absentee sister who……you guessed it!!! Got a POA on my mother AND my brother. She took a page out of my stepmother’s playbook (and had direct assistance and advice from her). My mother “disinherited me” at my sister’s encouragement. My sister and I have not had a conversation (except by chance) for 10 years. She has terminated all contact with me.
At my father’s request, my mother and I reunited after 3 years. I regularly visited my demented mother at my grandfather’s home (she was indigent). My mother had a fatal heart attack with me and died in my arms. When the paramedics arrived – I could not tell them anything about my mother or her medications. All that info was withheld from me. My sister never provided a copy of the POA to me.
4-My brother was put in a facility by my sister shortly before my mother’s death. My mother requested I monitor his care as my sister was not responsible. I did so; I am the closest to my brother and raised him from 3 years old to adulthood. We are less than 1 ½ years apart. Another saga began.
He was moved to various facilities – due to my brother’s brain damage. He was always mad and frustrated. My brother continually asked where his money was and disclosed to anyone that listened that my sister “stole” his $$. He was always dismissed or ignored. I became more involved in his care (or lack of care). He was in So. CA facilities so I could monitor him on a weekly basis. What I saw and experienced was concerning. When I would talk to the Administrators, they advised me I had no rights and could not request info regarding his care or prognosis – there was a POA on him. Both my brother and I requested a copy but one was never provided. Long story short – he had pneumonia & was moved to another facility but when I called because I had not heard from him (we talked at least twice a day), the staff stated he was there and doing fine. None of this was true. I watched my bother dissinegrate first hand. I called everyone; begged everyone for assistance. I was stonewalled at every turn – that POA!!! I even had my brother rescind the POA. No one listened or cared. I was advised to report this to the police (right!!); all his $$ disappeared. After the death of our father, he inherited $$ which went through probate so I had an idea of what he had in assets – and – it was a matter of public record.
As a last resort, I sent a registered letter to my sister’s husband at his place of employment and was provided with a copy of the POA. It had been established 3 years prior and to my shock and surprise – I was listed as the alternate POA for his health care. There was no alternate on his financial POA; just my sister as primary. I guess being the alternate is meaningless; the facility still refused to share any info with me (at my sister’s request) – meanwhile, my brother developed a bed sore and deteriorated further.
Just over a year ago, he was taken out the facility by my sister and moved to another state – Arizona. I made formal complaints with all the CA investigative agencies. The results were all “unfounded” – that POA is gospel. Again, a POA was drawn up without notification to the blood relatives by one conniving relative who obtained access to his health care decisions and $$. There is simply no enforceable recourse (handling both health care directives and $$ without an audit is contradictory).
In Arizona, my brother was put on welfare. I advised anyone that would listen that he has assets!!! No one cares. I advised all the investigative agencies I could find but have to assume nothing was or will be done. I have never heard a disposition. My initial contact with investigators was contentious and that POA always prevails. I submitted a recension of the first POA but never heard back from the Arizona facility. All contact with my brother has been terminated once he went on welfare. The Administrator at the facility stated I was welcome to come and comfort him but would not be allowed access to a copy of the current POA or medical status per my sister.
My brother’s daughter (yes, he has a high functioning adult daughter but no seems to care about that either) and I will be visiting him next week. I have no expectations – we have no input and for all we know, he is deceased. All because of this POA nonsense.
I realize the POA is a convenient short cut for lawyers and a boon to their estate planning business. It needs to be monitored. The abuse is outrageous. I have experienced all this in the last 10 years. I cannot be the only one who has encountered this problem. I obtained 2 conservatorships on my grandparents (my mother was not capable of caring for her own parents) and witnessed firsthand the thoroughness of the Conservatorship procedure. All relatives are invited to the hearing and there is full disclosure.
I realize this is family dysfunction at its best but there is really no recourse – I have tried and am $30k poorer as a result. The POA abuse must be addressed, monitored, modified and ideally stopped.
Thanks for listening.
I am the oldest of 8 children. While our father was in the hospital dying last year the youngest of us, instead of helping with our father, decided to start keeping our grieving mother from us In fact she was at his house when she fell and became incompacitated three days before our father passed.He was able to keep us from seeing her for 2 months after that. We called adult protective, sold things we had to get a hearing and he still ended up as a health care proxy. He is ordered to let us know our mothers condition but doesnt. We still dont know her diagnosis or prognosis, just that she is getting worse in front of our eyes and cannot communicate with us. Her court appointed lawyer doesnt do anything and the judge doesnt enforce the order. He was also ordered twice to return her jewelry and other items he admitted to taking from her home but has yet do so. This is happening in Syracuse, NY. What are we told? Pay another lawyer and file again, costing us anywhere from 3 to 6 thousand dollars we dont have. I hope this law passed in NY soon before its too late for us too.
There are a lot of stories to be shared but? I feel bad when I see elderly people treated bad. and not getting the quality of life that they deserve.
SAVE JONATHAN -My brother Jonathan is a victim of San Diego Corrupt Judicial system, consisting of doctor psychiatrists,incompetent and corrupt attorneys and likewise judges and of course County counsel and the Public Conservators. Jon was diagnosed at Harvard with Manic Depressive disease at age 17. Since that time he has completed college with a BA in math but has limited working time which makes him stuck with the insurance Medical and Medicare B and Social Security, He is now 66. He has only had a LPS conservator once before for a three month hospitalization and that was me his sister an RN and an attorney in 2005. He has never been in trouble with the law nor a danger to others. This is not the diagnosis that is usually targeted. Scripps mercy Hospital a catholic Hospital in San Diego had it in for Jon and warned him two years prior by Dr Seymour psychiatrist. Any other disease other then mental disorder they have no control over. Unfortunately we did not take their warning as seriously as we should have. He had to be hospitalized in 2015 from August 14th and they would not let him go until they got him conserved. They overdosed him with Zyprexia a antipsychotic and even had two brut security guards hold him down while they injected him with Zyprexia against his will. he refused the medication. They had no right to do this as there was no permanent conservatorship yet even though the conservator labeled his file that he had one. Jon had a right to refuse. The psychiatric advocate sat back and watched this and did not cite Scripps Mercy until Jon was transferred for months his name was Mike Phillips . Jon was under temporary conservatorship for three months which is two month longer then is allowed so he was falsely imprisioned for a extraordinary length of time being mistreated by Dr Lian.
Dr Jon Highum Jon’s outpatient psychiatrist said Jon was a burden to the medical system and that why Scripps did this as the doctor were not getting enough money nor the hospitals for Jon’s 30 visits since he was 17 years old. I said that too bad I am sure you get plenty of money from other patients and Jon cannot help it as he has a genetic disease. You could not do this to a diabetic who used the hospital for his illness so why a person with bipolar disease? Are we back to the days of Hitler or go to the back of the bus? Mental Illness carries with it a enormous stigma to this day and institutions are still used. Jon permanent conservator ship hearings when they did occur were a joke. the public defender was in bed with counsel for the conservator and the Judge ‘s staff had ex parte communication which I have prove of with Jon’s attorney. Jon’s attorney turned on Jon. He did not present evidence of third part support which is a necessary element of grave disability not existing. All people with illness can survive with third party support. He allowed them to put the family on trial. He acting like he was on the side of the public conservator and did not represent the clients interest, was totally inept and corrupt. The judge decided gravely disabled prior to my testimony which would have made it unconstitutional AND IN VIOLATION OF THE LAW. Ihad another attorney there with me. I had two POA’s that stated that I was to be Jon’s conservator if he needed one. The judge appointed the public conservator anyway. He used the wrong standard and it was obvious he was prepped.
I insisted that the public defender Ziegler bring a jury trial. He said to me F____ you I am done. I brought the demand for Jury trial and the court file stamped it. However they later crossed it out and said the judge is denying it now. I said save a copy and I will be back. The clerk said she will set a hearing for Wednesday. In the meanwhile he had his staff email and call the public defender which is ex parte contact against the rules of ethics for Judges and attorneys. I have these email as I was eventually ordered on as Jon’s attorney for a jury trial that had to come in 10 day.s in the meanwhile I got the confidential file which was loaded with slanderous lies about our family reversing who is the criminal here they are. Jon is a Human Being. There Job was to take Jon out of the system and lock him away forever so no hospital will be financially challenged by a frequent low pay patient which is also against the law. I got three doctors under subpoena and got Jon friends and the advocate who investigated the battery regarding the brut security guards holding Jon down to force an intramuscular antipsychotics on him which is a battery, a a crime. They were over drugging him so he would be their little lamb living at their hospital while they conspired for his demise. he became depresssed, l the sparkel in his eye and his humor. The jury trial was to start in 10 days but we got Judge HOWARD SHORE THE BIGGEST MOST ARROGANT CROOK IN THE COURT HOUSE. He decided it would be more fun putting me on trial, a medical malpractice advocate who will not be silenced. So he granted the attorney for the conservators motion I had not even read yet kicking me off as counsel in violation of the Calif rules of professional conduct and a corrupt move as the standard of proof for an LPS conservatorship is a criminal standard. The client has the right to the attorney he wants and I have won over 33 million dollars in settlement and jury trials for my clients over the years so I have the experience. This was a violation of Jon’s constitutional rights. Judge Shore threw me off replacing me with the crooked public defender Ziegler who fired himself. The very person Stone ordered me to replace is back again so i had no choice but to have the counsel who helped me with the court trial be attorney for Jon providing he follow my outline and submit my jury instructions. Shore continued the trial out passed the statutory period so I lost the availabiity of my doctors I had under subpoena. Haskett , who had an attorney client relationship with me, also now had a n attorney client relationship with Jon. Haskett already received some discipline from the State Bar, never did a jury trial and the only reason I would let him do this is the short notice and the fact that he was to follow my instructions. Shore told him he could not discuss what happened and would happen in the trial with me or take his instruction from me so he had a conflict and he should have withdrawn at that time. However he did not but was so ineffective and unprepared and crooked and just plain incompetent that he called his client Jon Haskett, his last name. he presented no doctors , refused to present the witnesses i subpeoed. He put on Jon pastor friend on for five minutes, allowed our family and me to be embarrassed, called criminals with no warning at all. He did no voir dire, little opening argument and was totally ineffective. He could not even get one vote. He allowed Jon to be brought to trial everyday on a gurney, accompanied by two paramedic and a nurse making him look dangerous or gravely disabled. I was not allowed in the Court room but they were to influence the jury. He also sentenced Jon who gave coherant testimony again to a locked skilled nursing facility under the total control of a shady, once subject to grand jury investigation, public conservatorship Ellen Schmedling. She immedatley took Jon out of Mercy transferred him 55 miles from his home and put him in a double locked institution Vista KNoll in Vista California in a ward with no social communication with the other patients as 99% have dementia. He walked fine with a walker , very fast. They took it away from confined him to a wheelchair to instill learned helplessness in him. They do everything for him. he is an object to them. We found a sign at the nursing station Jon Sussman is to talk to no one but the conservator. When confronted with the sign they lied about it and now he can have some eased dropped phone calls that are recorded. They intercept his mail. These psychiatric rights to not go to the conservator. Right to socialization does not and he has a right not to be with dementia patients. They are over drugging him with anti psychotic medicine so his mouth sounds like it has cotton in it and he is now losing his memory do to the over drugging. If we do not stop this 100% of there patients will have dementia as long time use of anti psychotics cause lose of IQ points and dementia. Jon has given up all hope. They are killing my brother so he will never cost the hospital system any money again. Vista Knoll gets Medical, Social security and Medicare and Jon gets no money at all. Please help me get media attention to help my brother or he will be institutionalized forever. The courts are not being cooperative and Jon and I am suffering . The court ignoring me show that they are string to put me out of the system as an attorney as well as banish Jon from society. Can You help me get some Media attention. I have reported this to the regulatory boards but you know their just like sheep guarding the hens house. Nancy Sussman 619-231-1215
I have read about the new bill that could assist with visiting rights of adult children of ailing parents. Thank you dearly for all of your work and I want to be a part of any efforts to assist. I also am reaching out to share my situation. My stepfather as POA has restricted my visitation with my mother without justification. She suffers from advanced Parkinson’s disease and dementia, and resides at an assisted living in Annapolis. After much research and seeking legal counseI regarding my circumstances I have been advised that there is nothing I can do, and that I have no rights as a loving daughter to rightfully visit with, or comfort my mother as her disease progresses.
I grew up in the Annapolis area where I live part time again care-taking my mother while I reside and work in NYC. I freelance in order to travel down every other week for several days to comfort and spend time with her. It is difficult and costly, yet necessary for her peace of mind, and my own. I love spending time with her, even in these difficult circumstances of ambiguous loss and I feel grateful that we are close. The needs of residents at the Assisted Living are not met as there are not enough caregivers and care is limited. My other family members are barely there or available to spend quality time. My mother is physically weak, cannot express her needs, is incontinent, has fear and anxiety, and can’t walk on her own without falling. The time we share improves her emotional well-being, lifts her spirits, and temporarily eases her brutal physical symptoms.
The home convinced my stepfather to only restrict me from her room for now when he tried to ban me entirely. Recently, after my mother came back from a hospital visit, I was not allowed to enter in to be by her side to ease her confusion. It may only be a matter of time where I could be kept from her entirely. My stepfather is unstable having Manic Depression. He suffers from Alcoholism with Addiction, as he juggles meds for his mental illness combined with other health problems. He’s led a mostly functioning life since he is educated, accomplished and intelligent . When I witnessed him physically and mentally abusing my mother in recent years, I reached out to family and they dismissed me. Having exposed him, his actions are vindictive toward me at my mother’s expense and his POA still stands.
It is impossible to get gaurdianship. My sister made a strong attempt to do so and failed, advised that it would be too difficult and costly. Despite my stepfather’s problems, and acts of harassment toward me, he has the power to ban me from my own mother without justification. The love and care she needs from me is dire for her more comfortable progression. I share this sad story so the laws will change. It must be understood how urgent and devastating the current situation is for adult children with specific situations of POA abuse. To not even be able to hold her hand, comfort her, or ultimately stay by her side in sickness or her eventual death is beyond any form of grief she and I could face. In the meantime, her disease is progressing for the worse. I am grateful for your time on this. Thank you for any correspondence regarding the bill or relating to these matters.
My father is currently a victim of financial and mental abuse. It is a nightmare.
We are going to court next week in Seattle, WA. Elderly victim has been kept isolated in a rest home for more than a year. Good son, her siblings, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren have all been kept from visitation. The evil son has guardianship. She must feel that her family has abandoned her! NOT TRUE. Evil son gets to use her money to cover attorney fees. We scrape together money for costs of going to court and travel expenses, etc. God please help us. We pray that this injustice we’ll be righted before our dear relative passes on.
My mother passed from pancreatic cancer and my father was diagnosed with alzheimers and diabetic. My brother and I were left to care for my father. As per my mothers wishes my brother and I were to care for his needs for the future. We both understood what was to be expected since my grandmother was also diagnosed years ago. Grandma lived in the house with us as we grew up. So we fully know what is to come. I work 3 blocks from the house and see my father almost evryday for lunch and/or talk on the phone. Even ewhen he had hurricane sandy hit my father lived in my house for a short time. My home has been always open to him, even to live with us if he ever wanted to. One day when I visited dad I found a strange woman at the house, seems my brother decided that his old evicted cleaning lady needed a place to live and she moved in as his “health care aid”. She had no training at all, she was prviously the cleaning lady at my brothers old house. With in the month he was hospitalized for diabetic coma. I found out he was in hospital from the neighbor who road over with him to hospital. The"cleaning lady" was not allwoded to call me by my brother. At this point I find out that my brother made my father turn the house into his name. Also had dad give him and his wife power of attorney over his life. Completely cutting me out. My childrens college funds that mom and dad setup were changed into his name. When I tried to visit dad and get to the bottom of whats happenning., I was given an order of protection against dad and him. The order was completely made up and false. Made it to the judge and was thrown out of the courts. My children cant visit him due to the “Cleaning lady in house and her family that is moving into the house”. I tried to talk to lawyers but I have no funds to pay them. Everyday I drive by the house since I pass everyday to work just hoping I can see him in the door. I have a right to see my dad, my children have a right to see there grandpa. He is captive in the house. His car he owns and has registered is driven by the woman. His phone is disconnected so no one can call him.
The bill needs to pass
I’m living in small town called Jimma in Ethiopia. In that small town there are more than 132 poorest elderlies who are deprived of basic services living on street. I with my friends organized local donors to support at least 20 of them. Their living condition and life history is really health-touching. But we can change if we can move in harmony. If you can expand your program here I’m ready to voluntarily work with you. because that’s my VISION!
this summer my mother’s legal guardian had me was arrested because i would not leave my dying mother’s bedside. i spent the afternoon and evening in jail and was released with the agreement that i would appear at an arraignment the next morning at 8 a.m. i was told i would be arrested again if i tried to go back to her bedside. the guardian called me at 4 a.m. to tell me mother had died. i told him i was going over to see her and he said you will be arrested if you do. i got in my car and drove over. a police car met me. he said i had permission to see her for fifteen minutes and would be arrested again if i stayed longer. i stayed for an hour a security guard was outside the door. i stayed for an hour. no one would tell me what time she died or whether she had regained consciousness at the end or whether she had been in pain. the corner was there – even though her death was expected and no one wold tell me why. i left her body two hours later and made my 8 a.m. court arraignment. i pleaded not guilty and went directly to the funeral home to finish the arrangements – i wanted to take her ‘home’ which was a few hours away – to the cemetary where her family was buried. from the moment of her death, no one cared about what happened to her – the guardian who had me arrested no longer had any power over her. i made arrangements and paid for the funeral and took her home.
my heart is still in shock. this happened on july 8 of 2015 and the unjustness of the event has thrown me to a place where i no longer believe in anything or anyone.
My name is Tammy Budgins and I live in Germantown, Wisconsin. My father had an aneurysm and suffered several strokes and has been in and out of the hospital/nursing home for the past 10 years. Over the last several years, I was able to visit him at the day care center where he stayed during the day throughout the week. I visited him at least once every week for those 10 years and daily if he was hospitalized. Ever since I voiced my concerns to my mother regarding his care and the situation at home, we do not speak. My mother recently could not afford to send him to the nursing home and now he is living at home with her full time and with another male companion. I do not know this individual, he is a stranger that they met at a casino and he now lives with them rent free. You can imagine why I’m concerned. Now, my mother is solely caring for my dad and will not allow anyone to speak to him or see him. She is diabetic and in very poor health and needs to use a walker to get around.
Due to my dad’s frequent hospitalizations, I never knew whether he was at home, at the hospital, or in a nursing home. I would have to call around to nursing homes to see if my dad was there because my mother would not tell me where he was. I made weekly phone calls to the hospital to see if he was admitted and if he was, my mother blocked me and all family members from receiving any information on his well being. One time I called the hospital and learned that he was just admitted to the ICU. Due to my mother’s instruction, they could not disclose any information to me. I spent the entire next 2 days wondering if he was dead or alive. I can’t even explain how horrible it was knowing that my father was dying and that I wasn’t able to be by his side to comfort him and to say good bye!
I haven’t seen or spoke to my father in over 3 months now. I have no idea how he is doing and no way of finding out. For my own sanity, I have had to put this aside and come to terms that I most likely will never get to see him again before he dies. My last visit unbeknownst to me was the last time I may ever see him. I love him dearly and we really became close. Time is running out and the only hope I have to see him again is if the legistration for House Bill 43 (allowing visitation rights) is passed in Wisconsin. Not only should it be passed in the state of Wisconsin but throughout the entire United States so something like this will never happen again to anyone else. A Guardian should be the person to protect the wishes of an ailing person, but they should not have the authority to strip them of all of their rights!
Please, please pass House Bill 43!!!
Thank you for your time.
For over 33 years The Foundation Aiding The Elderly www.4fate.org has assisted over 6000 families, at no charge, in the fight against elder abuse
I am writing to you on behalf of a friend who is having difficulties with seeing and speaking to his mother because his sister who has the power of attorney has him tied up in legal knots. She has set up certain times when he can see or talk to her at the facility where she lives (Country Winds Manor in Cresco, IA. ) But most of the time when he calls, the staff won’t put his calls through to his mom; or they listen in on an extension line to what’s being said! He just recently saw her for the first time since his birthday in August of last year. She had a Christmas gift for him. My friend has contacted Senator Rob Hogg regarding Senate File#306 and has been told that his sister is operating outside the scope of her powers by preventing them from communicating with each other. The person who told him that was Iowa Legal Aid staff attorney Mr. Jason Burdick. He does have a copy of the document that was sent to him. I know he believes that it was a very great thing that a persona such as Ms. Kasem developed this bill which became law to protect people from having family members kept apart simply because 1 or 2 people want all the control! He is a member of a protected class of people because of a disability further making his sister’s behavior even more illegal and reprehensible under the A.D.A. which is a federal law which somehow nobody seems to be paying attention to! This man’s sister is a bully, working at a job she hates; but still managing to convince their mother she is simply looking out for her best interests of all things! He has contacted several agencies looking for help in this matter; and so far they are telling him they don’t have the time or the staff to assist him! Please Ms. Kasem; if you know of someone who can help my friend please contact him. His address is 514 5th Ave. W. Apt. 24 in Cresco, IA. 52136. His phone number is 563-203-0720. Or you can send him an E-mail at email@example.com. He does prefer physical mail or a voice mail; he does check them often. He will be very thankful to receive assistance with this issue for we both feel it has gone on far too long already!! P.S. I was a certified Geriatric Nurse’s Aide years ago, my father was Administrator of 2 different facilities, and my mother was an administrative assistant so there is knowledge of care facilities in our past. My friend has been a police officer with training from R.C.T.C. in Rochester, MN. All he’s asking for is some help in evening out the scales of justice! I want to assure you that I am a qualified source of information in this matter; and I have known this man for almost 16 years!
My mother’s husband died, after death his daughter has signed her property in her name,has sold her car,has control over finishes, now waiting to put her In a convalescent home,keeping her lock away from everyone. I need help ASAP.
hi,my name is Kathy Alexander..I was very close to my parents,Newton Cyril Alexander,& my Mom Joyce Rosalie Alexander.They last lived in Claremont California.I lived in Northern,ca from 1979-2003.I had been 100% disabled in 2000,due to a back injury sustained at work.from the time I was born until 2013,I spent every Christmas with my parents,and every birthday,every minute I could spend with them I did.My brother,Michael Newton Alexander & his wife Stephanie Alexander,for whatever reason,quit speaking to my parents,from 1992-2002.
My brother Michael is an intl attorney,in Saudi Arabia.His wife Stephanie shops!They have 4 children.Mandie C.Paredez,of Henderson,Nv,Elizabeth Rose Alexander McKenna,Carter Michael Alexander of Behrain,& Caitlin Emily Alexander.My Mom became ill in Oct of 2012.My Dad,was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease years ago.When my Mom,ended up in ICU,on Dec 11,2012.Prior I had spent 2 weeks with my parents,this was the last thanksgiving,I would spend with them together.My Mom was in Renal Failure,by Dec.12th of 2012,I new something was wrong with me then,it took everything I had to go see her.It was so hard to see a woman that drove,and was independent,to not being able to write her own name.I suffered a nervous breakdown.during this time.Prior to Moms hospitalization,I voluntarily admitted myself to Redlands Hospital,in Redlands ca,for psychiatric care.At the time of my Moms hospitalization,even though I was not close to my brother nor my sister in law,I had put a call out to them.Stephanie called back,& spoke to my Dad,but was reluctant to talk to me.I begged her for help,& she came thru with flying colors.She was in California,at the time.she always came there in October,to get ready for the holidays,as two of her children live in Henderson ,Nevada,one lived in Fullerton,Ca..as well as their grandchildren.
Even though Stephanie had taken on taking care of my Mom,while she was in Pilgrims place,in Claremont,ca…I still had some skeptisisim.After all where were they for 20 years?Why did they not allow my parents to see their grandchildren?It wasn’t until I contacted Mandie,my oldest niece,during the time of the horrible wildfires of 2002,I was living up North,& couldn’t get to Southern Ca, because of the fires,my parents lost their home,& everything in it.Mandie lived close by,& went & checked their house.It was burnt to the foundation.My parents were in Laughlin,nevada,at the time.I spoke with Mandie on the phone,& told her to get hold of my brother Mike,tell him there had been a family tragedy,& that he needed to get home & be with my parents,who were now in Palm springs,ca living in an extended stay.He flew out 2 days later,his whole family showed up there to be with my parents.
That was the first contact they had had in years.From there on,until my Mom died in Sept 2013,my parents relationship with Michael & Stephanie had seemingly improved.During the time.My parents,had fixed their will to where I was the executor,I was POA for financial,& POA for Healthcare,I was also to receive all the contents of my parents home,checking & saving accts,both of their retirement pensions.All of this would be put into a medical trust to help me with any rehab,surgeries,any medical needs I had.after they were both deceased. But by the summer of 2013,I wasn’t improving mentally.& my brother at this time was made,Executor,POA of financial,& Stephanie POA of Healthcare.Which at the time,I felt was fine, My Mom had insisted that we go pick up all of her jewelry,& take it home.Also she told me prior to MY hospitalization,she started crying & told me that she wanted me to have her wedding ring…About a week after we got the suitcase with her jewelry in it ,then I received a call from Michael,that we to return the suitcase immediately!!I don’t know why I let him intimidate me!!didn’t realize that they would take that suitcase & all the jewelry in it!I then asked Stephanie where my Moms wedding ring was,& she said she had it.I told her mom wanted me to have it…a few weeks went on,& I called her again,She didn’t return my call,but Dad said,that Elizabeth had taken it to get it sized for me!!!She didn’t know my size!!I called her and she said she doesn’t have the ring!!So my MOMS WISHES were NEVER GRANTED. Also Caitlin was living at my parents home ,she told me that when we took the Kinkade pictures with my Dad,that Stephanie said,those were her pictures!!!!!!!!None of those were hers!!My Dad told us before we moved to get anything we wanted out of the house,especially those pictures!!Because they were beautiful,& also worth a lot of money.Stephanie told my Dad that we sold them.They are all up on our walls,with the exception of the 4 Stephanie took.She also had the locks changed,but she failed change the lock on the backdoor!!So Joy & some of our friends,,went in and took some chairs,& a few other things,& left the rest.Which there was a lot left.But since I found the will,it wasn’t signed by Dads atty ,nor anyone.I already have a medical set aside for my back,from workmans comp.But alot of things were missing from their home already.About a week or more,prior to my Moms death,I again admitted myself ,this time to Riverside Behavioral Hospital,in which I was treated for grief,because I was grieving prior to Moms death.I got to see my Mom,one more time,& she looked & acted the best she ever had,since her illness.
Prior to this,we were making payments to my Dad,for what was supposed to be our home eventually….but sometime that summer after the will had changed to my brother being in charge,my Dad refinanced the home,& took out a large amount of equity,without telling us,I knew my brother had told him to do it,by this time,we could tell my Dad was starting to be controlled by Mike & Stephanie.Our house payment went up,we could not afford this much longer.They were starting to control everything,not only my Dads financial& healthcare,but all the way to our family dog,Rocky.Also,my Dad was hospitalized about 6 weeks after my moms death,for Aspiration Pneumonia.I was with him when it happened,& called 911,& the ambulance took him to the hospital.I was at his house for a week,went and saw him everyday.then I went home..as he was transferred to Pilgrims place to recover.The next thing that I found out was,that Dad was going to be moving to an Assisted living place called Pacifica,senior living in Henderson,Nv.months later.where it was a lot cheaper tor him to live,vs California,plus some of the grandkids lived about 5 minutes fm him.It all sounded well,& good.But we were going to have to move,because we couldn’t afford these high housepayments,& I couldn’t qualify,anywhere in California,for enough money to buy or even rent a home.Dad knew this.He even insisted before he moved,that we take him to the bank to get things out of his security box,including all of his gold,which there were 25 1000 dollar gold coins,that he insisted he give us.We asked him several times,to make sure he wanted to do this,& he told us yes,& he told the banker yes.He was giving it to us to move.Prior to this,he insisted that we go to his home,& take all the Kinkade paintings,for ourselves.He even went with us one time to get some of them,even though Pilgrims place told us,that if we took him from pilgrims place,just to go to dinner , they would call Stephanie to get permission for us to take him anywhere,or they would call the police!!!!It was then,that we truly knew that he was being intimidated & controlled.
I went to Henderson Nevada,to see my Dad,one more time before we moved.Pacifica,was a very nice place,where Dad really liked it there.We were talking to Dad every 2-3 days,& sent him cards weekly..my Dad wanted to remarry,but Michael & Stephanie wouldn’t let him.My brother said “Quit acting like a schoolboy”.I told my Dad I was all for it!!!!!!!!!!!.some months had passed,& he was placed in Kindred ,Flamingo Hospital.Spoke with each other all the time…..the case manager,had told me in May of 2015,that since he was in a nursing home environment,that his health status,couldnt be kept from us….then in September of 2015,we had made plane,hotel & car reservations..I had called my Dad that Sunday,that we would be flying to Nevada, for a week,to see him.He was so excited.Then I called him Weds,and when the nurses station answered the phone,they told me that STEPHANIE,had told the entire staff,,that they weren’t allowed to give me..any information.,even the case manager told me this..I called APS,& ELDER LAW in Nevada .They told me there was nothing they could do!!!I spent money,trying to find my Dad,on BEENVERIFIED.COM,INTELLIUS.COM&CHECKMATE.COM.IT showed the last place my dad lived was CLAREMONT,CA.IT ALSO SHOWED THAT MY MOM,LIVED WITH MY NIECE ELIZABETH UNTIL HER DEATH AT 77 YRS OF AGE.MY MOM DIED WHEN SHE WAS 75.Since this time,my DAD called twice…once on OCT.6 2015 on his birthday & again, on THANKSGIVING DAY….BUT THAT DAY,STEPHANIE TOLD JOY THAT WE HAD 5 mins..& that if we mentioned her name once,SHE WOULD HANG UP THE PHONE.MY DAD WAS CALLING FM HER CELLPHONE,& BEING PROMPTED ON WHAT TO SAY TO US.WHEN WE ASKED HIM IF HE COULD TELL US WHERE HE WAS,HE SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!HE SAID HE WAS A RESIDENT..THAT WAS ALL.Its hard to understand my Dad sometimes…..but after he said that,he said BYE then the phone went dead….Everything it says on here about the person being scared,,,intimidated,humiliated,being dependent on them,the whole scenario is my Dad& what he is going through.He is close to end stage Parkinsons,he needs to be able to talk to me,Im his only Daughter & his only hope!These people are controlling my Dad,everything he wants,everything he does,is what THEY WANT HIM OR WILL ALLOW HIM to do.The kids wont tell me where he is,nor my parents friends,not even my Moms sister….Its because they have THREATENED HIM & THEM. I received a call,from someone,that told me my Dad was being put on Medicaid…what happened to my dads 4,000.00 pension??AND MY MOMS TIAA RETIREMENT FUND?IT SOUNDs Like Mike & Stephanie depleted it.Whats more what gave them the right,to take all my Moms Jewelry,& other things that we had given her…her wedding ring, the kinkade pictures,christmas items,that I had bought her,all the things we had bought my DadMost are gone!!!!!!!!!THIS IS ELDER ABUSE OF THE HIGHEST FORM!WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!MY DADS RIGHTS & OUR RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!HOW DO WE GET HELP TO TALK TO MY DAD,& SEE HIM WHEN WE HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO???PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!THIS IS WRONG!MY DAD NEEDS US!PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!!THANKS SO MUCH,KATHY & JOY ALEXANDER
HELLO, MY SITUATION DEALS WITH TRUSTED FINANCIAL ADVISORS/CONFIDANTS OF MY LATE HUSBAND KNOWING AND HAVING ACCESS TO HIS RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS ALONG WITH THE BUSINESS. KNOWING FIRST HAND I WAS A YOUNG STAY AT HOME MOM NEVER BEING INVOLVED IN ANY OF THE ABOVE I WAS MISLED AND HAVE BEEN DENIED MY CIVIL RIGHTS , ALONG WITH MY FINANCIAL SHARE AS LEGAL WIDOW AND MOTHER OF HIS ONLY TWO CHILDREN , BEING MINORS AT THE TIME OF HIS DEATH 17,13. I WAS PRESENTED A COPY OF A TRUST AND WILL COMPLETELY ONE SIDED, TOTALLY AGAINST ME, NAMING DAUGHTERS AS BENEFICIARIES, WHICH IS FINE. MY HUSBAND PASSED LAST YEAR, 10/3/14 AND TO DATE THERE HAS BEEN NO FILINGS WITH COURT, THEY’VE LIQUIDATED A PROPERTY IN AZ , TAKEN OVER MY HUSBANDS BUSINESS., NO TRUST TAX ID, PURCHASED AND PLACED A GRAVE STONE WITHOUT CONSIDERING /NOTIFYING OUR CHILDREN, WE ONLY FOUND OUT BY ACCIDENT. THE IRONY IS THAT ALL PARTIES INVOLVED HAVE NOT BEEN FOLLOWING CA TRUST LAWS, PROBATE LAW, CORPORATION ,MARRIAGE, TAX, AND DEPENDENT INFIVIDUAL LAW, MUCH LESS FOLLOWING THEIR WILL/TRUST" THAT THEY USED AGAINST ME.
I THINK IT WAS ALL A SCAM KNOWING I WAS OUT OF THE LOOP. MY HUSBAND TRUSTED THESE PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF US AND IT BACKFIRED. AFTER HIS PASSING WE DISCOVERED THE TRUTH , SO MY QUESTION IS NOW …HOW DO I ENFORCE MY RIGHTS?? THESE PEOPLE HAVE CONTROL OF ASSETS , MY HUSBANDS LONGTIME CPA, A “FAMILY FRIEND TO MY HUSBSND ”, AND A FORMER EMPLOYEE OF MY HUSBAND.
NO BUSINESS ASSETS WERE EVER TRANSFERRED, PRIOR TO HIS PASSING ,YET TRUSTEE OF PURPORTED TRUST IS NOW THE PRESIDENT OF MY HUSBANDS CORPORATION, MOVED OUT OF THE MODEST TOWN WE ALL LIVED IN AND MOVED UP TO A MORE AFFLUENT COMMUNITY WITHIN THE COUNTY ON A RETIREMENT INCOME ALL OF THE SUDDEN. MY HUSBAND FELL ON SEVERAL OCCASION S WHILE UNDER HER CARE, THE LADT FALL BROKE HIS SHOULDER AND IT WAS ALL DOWNHILL FROM THAT POINT, HE LASTED LESS THAN TWO MONTHS..
SHE’S GIVING US A MONTHLY ALLOWANCE ACCORDING TO HER OR THEIR BENEFIT, CITING SINCE WE ALREADY RECEIVE SSI IT’S ENOUGH ACCORDING TO HER. SHE ALSO SOLD A CAR THAT WAS INTEDED FOR OUR COLLAGE AGE DAUGHTER, STATING IT WAS A TRUST ASSET AND THERE WAS LIABILITY INVOLVED???
THIS IS JUST A PREVIEW!
MY HUSBAND DIED OF CANCER ORIGINATING FROM COLON , BUT MANIFESTING TO THE BRAIN CAUSING TUMORS IMPEDING HIS JUDGEMENT.
SIDE NOTE, THE CRIMINALS WERE ASSISTING MY HUSBAND WITH A LAWSUIT STEMMING FROM AN EMBEZZLEMENT CASE AT THE HANDS OF MY HUSBANDS LONGTIME ATTORNEY. CRIMINALS KNEW MY HUSBAND HAD A JUDGEMENT COMING AND WERE COMPLETELY INVOLVED IN THE LEGAL PROCESS CLAIMING TO “HELP”. IF THE CPA WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING HIS JOB, HE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT THE EMBEZZLEMENT YEARS AGO WHEN IT STARTED. THESE PEOPLE KNEW MY HUDBAND WASNT MENTALLY COMPETANT TO REDO A TRUST, AS 5 DAYS PRIOR TO THE
SIGNING OF TRUST IS WHEN HE FOUND OUT HIS LAWYER OF OVER 30 YEARS HAD EMBEZZLED OVER $100,000 FROM HIM, THIS KIND OF NEWS WOULD AFFECT ANYONE AT ANY AGE….. IT SOUNDS ALOT LIKE UNDUE INFLUENCE TO ME.
I STRONGLY AGREE THERE HAS TO BE SOME ENFORCEMENT, VERIFICATION, AUTHORIZATION BY SEVERAL INDIVIDUALS WHEN IT COMES TO THE CARE OF ELDERLY OR DEPENDENT INDIVIDUALS. MY SITUATION HAS TO DO WITH TRUSTED PROFESSIONALS , SORT OF A WHITE COLLAR CRIME, IF YOU WILL. PEOPLE CAN BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ON MANY LEVELS BY ANYONE, NOT JUST YOUR SPOUSE OR RELATIVE. PEOPLE DONT EVEN RESPECT DECEDENTS OMLY CHILDREN.
MY QUESTION TODAY IS, HOW CAN TAKE BACK WHAT IS LEGALLY OURS? I CANNOT HIRE A AN ATTORNEY DUE TO MY LIMITED FINANCES, I ONLY HAVE PROOF OF WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.
I HAVE COMPLAINED TO SEVERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCIES, INCLUDING ATTORNEY GENERAL AND ALL I’VE RECEIVED ARE RESPONSES SUGGESTING I HIRE AN ATTORNEY, IF I HAD THE MONEY, I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE……
I DON’T WISH THIS ON ANYONE AND I WOULD GLADLY SHARE MY STORY IN THE HOPES THAT WE CAN GET SOME HELP AND END THIS NIGHTMARE. MY HUSBAND HAD A PROMINENT RESTAURANT IN LA FOR OVER 30 YEARS AND HAD A FOLLOWING.
My brothers been isolated..and will die in the system unless we get help or publicity
In April 2014 some of our family visited my nephew and his wife in TN. We had a great time and we left on great terms as we have during any other visit. In October, 2014 my 35 yr old nephew had a stroke rendering him unable to speak for himself and leaving him with total left sided paralysis. When he had the stroke his wife didn’t call 911, but had him walk to the car and she drove him to the hospital. It was a couple of days before she called his mother to notify her. His wife allowed his mother and brother to visit once right after the stroke and after that, she immediately and completely cut him off from his family and no one to this day understands why. The only reason I have thought of is that she has asked his mother and step-father for money in the past and many times they helped them out financially by paying at least for medical bills as well as given them other things (computer, car). We think the wife eventually got upset that after continuously asking for money, his parents suggested helping them with a budget, as well as paying their medical expenses and we think that it upset his wife that they didn’t just keep writing out blank checks to them.
I use the word “sociopath” when speaking of his wife to our other family members because she, to me, displays those signs. She is hurtful, manipulative, controlling, shut-off and she has convinced everyone she knows (from her family, work, and church) that she is the victim and that no one should speak with us. For her to convince so many others of this tells me she is good and knows exactly what she’s doing. She is also very well-spoken, well-read, very intelligent, and excels at her job from what we understand.
At first she allowed my nephew’s best friend to communicate with only my nephew’s brother and only when and how she dictated. Eventually, she realized she was putting the best friend in a difficult situation and she since has asked some man she knows to serve as a “mediator”. He clearly is not a professional, objective, mediator- most likely just a friend of hers.
To make matters worse, when my nephew was transferred from the hospital to the dilapidated state-run nursing home he is in, we weren’t informed of that, and the Home wasn’t informed about him even having a family or friends. We found out that his wife didn’t even go see him for the first month and everyone who worked in the Home thought that he had no family. She then started going to see him, how often, it is not known.
Recently, she has “allowed” his mother and step father to see him and only through planning the visit with her “mediator”/friend. Eventually she said that anyone could go see him as long as they let her know. We think that is only because at the Home they really don’t care who goes in there (scary, but in a way, good for us). That’s how it stands as of today.
Since his stroke his wife didn’t inform any of the doctors of his very significant past medical history. He had leukemia as a child, received chemo and radiation, has had a lot of negative side effects through today due to those treatments and has been part of a research study at St. Jude’s Hospital since then. His wife has no idea of the danger she is putting him in by not relaying ALL of his medical information to the treating doctors. What is worse is that since she moved him to the Home, he’s had no physical/occupational/speech therapy and we understand he has also had more seizures and strokes since his admission into the Home. We fear he will only continue to deteriorate physically as well as mentally and emotionally from being kept away from his family. We even wonder if the reason his wife has alienated us is that maybe she encouraged him to stop taking his meds since they were giving him problems, and that’s when he had the seizure and stroke. Maybe she’s afraid we’ll find out she had something to do with the condition he’s in now.
His mother isn’t even asking to make decisions for him, all she and we want is to be able to see him without interference from his wife and his mother, who works in the medical field wants to be able to communicate with doctors so they have important information that they need for his care.
After all this time of thinking she would come around, his mother, father, and step-father finally consulted with an attorney. The only thing he offered them was filing for “conservatorship” for his medical care. But if they file, the concern is that it will only upset her and then she’ll cut us off completely again.
This situation seems like a “hostage/kidnapper” situation with her calling the shots.
Never in our lives did any of us think we would be in such a situation. There has never been any person in our family like my nephew’s wife. I keep saying that this seems like something that should go on 20/20, Dateline, or could even be a Lifetime movie. We just aren’t sure how to proceed from here.
From what I’ve read, it looks like this Bill pertains to elderly people, but we now see that the bigger picture is not only the elderly, but really any person unable to fend for themselves, which could be at any age. Maybe this bill will get some things in motion. I am very sorry for what your family endured. Thank you for taking the time and effort to create such a positive outcome from a sad situation.
My Dad passed away in January 2013. Since then my mother has been surrounded by my sister’s. Making me more and more uncomfortable as time passed. Until late 2013 when my sister and brother created a family separation. That ended my relationship with them and my mother. My mother has turned into a scared and vengeful person. Because of the manipulation from my two siblings. They have talked her out of spending time with her youngest son (me) and my son her youngest grandchild. Even by talking her our of attending my wedding, not giving me her forwarding address. Now, she is forced to relay all communication with me through my sister. I believe she is being controlled and manipulated at every turn. My sister or the company she works for control her lease. So, she is fearful to invite me to her home. No one should have that sort of power over someone else.
Happening to my brother now….spent 3000.00 just to b able to visit n I don’t have money
Here is a scam occurring on Kauai. This story is not the only documented case. Other heirs of Hawaii Attorney Nancy Budd’s deceased clients have since came forward claiming the decedents were also victims. Even though we have several cases of elders in Kauai being defrauded through their living trusts which were all drafted by Attorney Nancy Budd only a few short months before their deaths, Hawaii agencies have yet to investigate, report and hold any of the ones involved accountable. SENIORS BEWARE!! A professional solicitor exerted undue influence upon a 75 yr old, elderly man, in poor health in Hawaii. Who only hired the estate planning attorney to draft his estate plan. The attorney who was also a board member, council member, legal advisor and fiduciary for the non profit charity The Hawaii Community Foundation drafted her associated charity into the mans trust for half of his entire estate. Hawaii Attorney Nancy J Budd drafted, witnessed and notarized the mans trust which gifted $500,000 to her nonprofit. After the elderly man met with Attorney Nancy J. Budd he was found suspiciously deceased exactly 7 months later in Kauai. Here we have a Hawaii State Board of Education member, who scams her elderly estate planning clients via her own private practice. As well as with her position as a board member of The Hawaii Community Foundation nonprofit charity. Please share this story! It could happen to you and your family. Hawaii Elder Law Estate Planning Attorney Nancy J. Budd Yamakawa Nancy Budd. This case needs to be investigated. The complete story can be viewed at the following link: judicialcorruptionnews.com/nancy-j-budd/
A Grandmother in Peril
By Jennifer Warner
I desperately fear for my 100-year-old grandmother’s well being. She lives in Sonora, CA (Northern California, east of Modesto). As a child, she rescued me from foster care and took me in as her own, but now my hands are tied so that I cannot take care of her when she needs me the most. The person who has tied them is a man of nearly absolute power: he controls the very air that she breathes and the food she is allowed to eat. He is her court-appointed Conservator and is set to control her estate once she dies. Until then, he controls her food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and in-home personal care. As he himself has proudly declared, he “basically controls her life.”
This man was trusted with his lofty position due to a family conflict over how my grandmother’s money would be used to pay for her growing care needs. He came with an impressive sounding title—California licensed professional fiduciary—and was touted as a fair and neutral third-party who would help diffuse the conflict. He was given the job only after an extensive interview process, during which he represented to me that I could continue caring for my grandmother on a day-to-day basis and could continue supervising her medical care. Once he had the job, he drastically changed course. During the month of November 2014, he isolated my grandmother from her family. We had to come at certain times of the day, and all of our visits had to be closely monitored by privately paid caregivers who reported back to the Conservator. One of those caregivers put towels in my grandmother’s windows so that no one could see in. The Conservator also instructed the caregivers to unplug my grandmother’s phone for most of the day.
On Dec. 2nd, the Conservator arranged for liquid morphine—a powerful respiratory depressant—to be delivered to her home to help with respiratory distress, which none of her family members could detect. He instructed her caregivers to administer the morphine “as needed” for her supposed respiratory distress. He was undeterred by the fact that they were not medical professionals and some had never even given morphine before. In fact, he boldly insisted that he himself could put the morphine in her mouth—despite the fact that he has no medical training other than basic first aid. Had the morphine been given to my grandmother, her precious life may have been cut short.
Deeply troubled, I filed a report with Tuolumne County Adult Protective Services. APS forwarded my report to the Court Investigator in the Probate Court that appointed the Conservator. I went to local law enforcement, and they also determined that my concerns needed to be handled by the Probate Court. I filed a complaint with the Conservator’s state licensing board, and an investigator requested a copy of the Court Investigator’s report to help her figure out what to do. I received one message loud and clear: only the Court should monitor its own.
Meanwhile, the Court Investigator assured me that she would look into my concerns and would present her findings to the Probate Court Judge. She went on to craft a report that fully supported her colleague, the Conservator. Just recently, it was confirmed that the Court Investigator did not even investigate the facts underlying my concerns, but, instead, reported information that was favorable to the Conservator—even when much of this information had not been corroborated. Despite my several requests to change Conservators, the Judge has kept this Conservator in power. And, yes, she gave great weight to the Court Investigator’s report.
In explaining the reason for the morphine, the Conservator stated that my grandmother had less than a month to live. I was not allowed to verify this prediction because he had taken away my ability to communicate freely with my grandma’s medical professionals. However, when I observed my grandmother, I saw no significant decline and so I intervened so that she would not receive the morphine. When I finally could speak to the medical staff, they had no idea where the Conservator’s dire prediction came from and they explained that the morphine had been prescribed only as a precaution.
Nine months later, my grandmother is still alive and proclaiming that she wants to hit 101. Yet protecting her delicate life continues to be a struggle. The Conservator finally gave up on the administration of morphine, but, since then, I have witnessed a whole host of other suspicious happenings.
My grandmother is supposed to be on 24/7 oxygen, yet her oxygen has sometimes been left off for extended periods of time and her oxygen level allowed to plummet. Rather than showing concern about her falling oxygen levels, the Conservator implemented restrictions on how often family members could check her oxygen level.
On two different occasions, my grandmother had a medical emergency, but neither the Conservator nor the caregivers called 9-1-1. It is probable that the first was a mini-stroke, but the Conservator would not allow the test that would have confirmed this diagnosis. And the caregivers who were on duty at the time refused to answer any questions about what happened. Her quality of life has not been the same since.
My grandmother has also been confined to her bed for over four months—even though the doctor keeps saying that it is safe for her to be helped out of bed and she has two caregivers on duty around the clock. A woman who used to walk miles a day and is still strong enough to stand now spends her days looking at the walls of her bedroom. Not only is she missing out on some of life’s simple pleasures, being bedridden puts her at risk for several medical problems, such as pneumonia, bedsores, and muscle atrophy.
When I speak up about these troubling occurrences, the Conservator ignores me. According to him, I need to stay in my place and be “just a granddaughter.” Never mind that my grandmother raised an assertive woman who is now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Care Manager, specializing in older adults. I must learn to submit to the authority of a man who took a 30-hour course and passed a two-hour licensing exam.
And I already know what will happen if I bring my ongoing concerns to the attention of one of the agencies charged with protecting older adults. Any report will boomerang back to the Probate Court to investigate one of its own. So the Conservator keeps his job and escapes accountability. My grandmother’s health is continually at risk. And I cannot escape constant worry and stress. I receive my mandate to look out for my grandmother from a Higher Authority, and no Conservator—and no Court—can take that away from me. And so I muster the courage to share my story and, in so doing, I hope to regain some of my personal power.
After two years I no longer had the financial means to fight in court to get my mom back. My cousins took control of my mother who has Alzheimer’s After my dad died – even had a diagnosis from a neurologist. Within three months my cousins had every asset of my moms turned over into their name and within two years married her off to a family member. He now controls her and will not allow anyone to see her and takes her out of town often to keep us away from her. My mother wants to see her grandchildren – hasn’t seen them in years but he just took her out of town again. This battle has worn me and my family down and would appreciate greatly any help and support. Thank you for what you are doing.
I heard this is a great organization to help victims of elder abuse. Who can I contact for more information?