I need help with my 85 year old mom who has mid stage Alzheimer’s and is in nursing Home. She has a Legal Guardian who is just a random Atty. appointed by the Probate Court He had no prior connection to my mom or I. My is being isolated and mistreated by the facility. I am her only nearby family and her only means of emotional support. I can only visit her on Wednesdays for 1/2 hour from 6 – 6:30 pm. They frequently try to cut the visits short. Even though they don’t get her out to me until 6:10, they try to make me leave at 6:30. She could walk with a walker how ever they are forcing her to stay in a wheel chair 24/7! Last week when I saw her she was sitting up, knew who I was and was talkative all though she did have some confusion. Today when I went to see her she was CATATONIC! I was shocked, appalled and frightened by the condition she was in! She was slumped over in her wheel chair, non-verbal, did not acknowledge any one was there or recognize me. Out of fear for her safety and medical well being, I called 911 to take her to the hospital. When EMS arrived, they refused to take her! They said only the facility or the guardian was able to authorize it. Supposedly no one could reach the guardian. I couldn’t reach him since I only have an office phone number. The Nursing Home blatantly LIED to EMS and said that being catatonic and non-verbal was her baseline. EMS did nothing! They did not take vitals, check her medical records or speak with her themselves. They told me that “I needed to do some research on dementia since it is a degenerative disease.’” I do know that. I know a patient does not go from sitting up, verbal and responsive one week to catatonic the next without an underlying cause – stroke or some medical condition such as a severe, untreated UTI. In the past few months in this facility, she has had at least 5 diagnosed UTI’s. Clearly they are being neglectful and not doing enough to keep them from happening. I am terrified of what they will do next. How to I help her? The guardian says he will transfer her to another facility. He has been saying that for over 4 months. I don’t know what to do. I need to get her out of this neglectful facility ASAP. I now fear for her life! What can I do? Where do I turn? How do I protect her?

Hello my mother has very early onset Alzheimer’s my sister is POA my sister started out with a problem with me borrowing my mothers car which my mother offered to let me use then proceded to clean out my mothers banking account couple days later my sister started sending police to my mothers house for wellness checks and demanded my mother go into an ambulance for a competency check which my mother agreed too but wasn’t happy about well after 3 days in the local hospital mental ward my mother was released and told she was fully competent and shouldn’t even have been sent there well my mother at this time was very upset with my sister and wanted me to stay with her at her house as I did concerned about what my sister was trying to do the wellness checks by the police continued for about a week sometimes 2 a day until my mother was starting to break down I left for a couple hours and came back to my mothers to find her gone and soon after got a call from police telling me I’m not allowed on my mothers property anymore I tried contacting my sister only to get the a reply that my mother is in a nursing facility and wouldn’t tell me where now a week later still won’t tell me my mothers sister and my mothers boyfriend where she is only that she’s “safe”.I have done everything I can think of to get help with this very devastating situation and can’t get anywhere please help???

My sister has POA healthcare and has refused to give family a passcode to visit mom in the hospital. She was supposed to be discharged but, again, is refusing to tell family members (who used to visit her daily) where mom went, etc. She and her adult son have scammed money from mom by paying their credit card with moms, took 1K with the “promise” of paying back….and now, with no one to check on her fear for mom’s safety as my sister has proven to have quite the temper…No one has helped.

I live in Virginia. We have called the cops for a welfare check but she’s intimidated and scared of my cousin and will not speak up. No one has guardianship. We hired a lawyer and he has done nothing for us. We also have called adult protective services and they pretty much said they are too busy. They did call the doctor and said she goes to the doctor regularly so she is fine. No she’s not she’s being held there against her will she wants to go home!

What state are you in? I feel the sadness you are having and know that you are suffering. Does anyone have guardianship? You can file a petition at the courthouse where your mom lives and request guardianship. You can also request the local police to do a well check on her. They will ask her if she is being treated well. You can also call the states Adult Protective Services with your concerns. They are required by law to go check. Let me kniw what state you are in and ill find someone to help you.

My father passed away in November. He gave power of attorney to his nephew. My father hated all his children so he did that to hurt us. Now my cousin will not allow us to see our mother. He has her in his home instead of hers. He will not allow us over there. She has stated she wants to go home but he will not take her home. He is doing this for money. We have no idea how she is doing or how her health is. We hired a lawyer to get guardianship but he has done nothing but take our money. He is steady getting rid of her possessions like every are his. We may never get to see our mother again or get any of our parents things. Alot of sentimental things in her house. We are so distraught over not being able to see our mother. We don’t know how much longer she has left.

Had conference today. Stepmother was a no show. Her lawyer, my dad’s court appointed attorney, and the judge all feel I should be allowed to see my dad. But stepmother can con’t to block because she’s in SC. Will now have to find SC attorney and start again. How do people get away with this?

Is there anyone with this organization willing to provide actual help? Real legal advice?

How do you get a SC court to enforce a PA visitation order?

You dont need an attorney to call Adult Protective Services in your area— they are required by law to go see your mom and to help you figure it all out— like talk to your mother away from your niece to see if she is in danger. That needs to be done NOW!

My niece, jessica bernal has my mother with a lady who she is paying to watch my mother. She will not put her in a nursing home because she keeps the rest of the money my mother gets from her retirement and her SSI payments. She knows that if she puts her in a legitimate nursing home there might not get any money left over for herself. When our family gets ahold of her and ask her where my mother is she tells us that my mother doesnt want to see us and she has power of attorney and she doesnt have to tell us anything. Im sure she tricked my mother into signing any papers she wants her to sign. She made my mother sell the home she lived in and the next day all that money was removed from my mothers bank account. I dont know what to do. I dont have the money to hire a lawyer I dont even have a car. I have a letter my mother wrote telling me that my nice and her daughter stole thousands of dollars from her bank acvount. I just want to see my mother before she or I die. As I am 70 years of age and not in good health.

Got a positive piece of news – the judge in PA has scheduled a conference date of June 29th for my case. Although my father is not required to attend ALL other parties, including my stepmother, must be there.

I’m so sorry for what has happened in your situation. I realize in may never see my father again. But I’m not ready to give up.

@ Laurie—Of course its financially motivated—all private pay people they like to keep- they did it to my dad too— he was in a private pay room in the VA in NC— $5000 for a hospital size room. They only had to give him his meds. He was independent in everything else. It was the nurses dream to keep him there. I was escorted off the VA property by local police- they said I was trespassing. The admins did the same to my dad for 2 months and they did it without a court order, took away his phone and wouldn’t let him talk to anyone- friends or family- for two months. He died on the way to his guardianship hearing Sept. 28, 2017. He was drugged to purposely fail his competency tests. His only way out of a bad situation was to die. Now waiting for the courts to expedite selling my dads house and property— but all lawyers involved make easy money doing this—sitting on a house— not selling it and waiting for the neighborhood to ransack it until it falls down— meanwhile THEY get paid. Its great for them to keep billing the estate while doing nothing. North Carolina guardianships exist as a way to criminally steal from elderly people!!

Mary Bush – I can’t believe the way you’ve been treated. My father’s facility is about 12k per month. My stepmother has the financial means to con’t $$ for his stay. My father only has a small government pension. I am afraid that the director is financially motivated to keep my father there. I plan to contact the SC Ombudsman again, bring her up-to-date on the situation. She never returned my call last time so if that happens I have the name and number of the state ombudsman.

Laurie Lucey, the Federal Laws that govern these facilities are NOT enforced, usually the Health Department has the oversight because these facilities receive federal funding, although they are pretty good at citing for poor care they do not effectively cite the residents rights even when the resident is being intentionally isolated. I personally filed a federal Lawsuit against Senior Lifestyles Corporation because they threatened my mom that she will never see me (her only daughter) ever again for reporting them for violations of State and Federal codes. I was my mothers legal Health Care Agent and was ignored, the for profit guardian Carol J Hershey wrote a “letter” and without a court ordered “banned” me from seeing my mom in January 2016. Even with laws that are in place to protect the victim (the resident) there is no real over site or real penalties. They have profited to the tune of over 12k per month keeping my mom locked in as a cash paying “inmate” . The right of association and communication is being erased by these corporate “nursing homes” stating they are “private property” and have the right to determine who and when you can be on their premises. My federal case concluded I have a case but need an attorney to continue in federal court, I cant find any agency, state or federal court, police, advocacy or anyone who can stop this or help my mom. We need uniform FEDERAL LAWS with oversight, accountability and criminal penalties with jury trials for this abuse of our elderly who can not defend themselves from this abusive isolation and alienation from family, no disability gives these persons the right to isolate and ignore the right we have to see our loved ones.

The local police accompanied to the SC home as a witness. The director said he had the right to refuse my entrance as the head of the private facility and the police agreed.

Ombudsman in SC was supposed to accompany me to the visit with my PA court order and called in sick. She was useless and said she contacted the facility my father is in and he’s well cared for like that was supposed to make me feel better and forget about him. Everyone assumes this is money motivated. My father doesnt have money and even if he did I only want to visit him. The judge is in PA. My father does not have a legal guardian… He hasn’t been declared incompetent / incompacitated yet. That’s the case I filed in PA for guardianship of a person and my stepmother then whisked him out of state to avoid jurisdiction we think. I can’t contact the judge in PA directly because they’re elected officials and I’ve been warned to do so could cause a decision not in my favor. My lawyer goes to court this week to ask for a conference date. We can’t ask for a court date because my dad’s court appointed lawyer hasn’t been able to interview my father and can’t do so whole he’s in SC. I appreciate your help and suggestions.

Try calling the Ombudsman and making a complaint—it clearly is not the admins job to prevent you from seeing your dad. Only a court order can do that. The guardian of his person is the one that dictates where your father will live and who he can see and is usually in cahoots with the facility admin.Call the judge who made the order for you to see your dad and tell them you need ther assisatnace.

My father has advanced Alzheimer’s and is a resident of PA. We have always been close. I moved to PA six years ago to be closer to him and live only a few miles away. We saw and/or spoke to each other several times a week. My stepmother suddenly decided no one could see or speak to him in Sept 2017. I filed for guardianship of a person just so I could get into court and ask for visitation and also to show that I am not interested in money. I attempted to see my father but my stepmother immediately left PA with my father traveling to Seattle, Alabama, SC and Buenos Aires, Argentina. I was able to speak to him on the phone New Years Day 2018 and I promised him I would continue to call. But when I called again there was no answer. Most of January and February were spent trying to locate my father. My father was appointed an attorney to represent him. A court date was set in PA in April 2018. In March 2018 I discovered my father was placed in a nursing home in SC. Per my stepmother’s orders the nursing home refused to allow me or anyone to call and speak to my father. No visitors were allowed . My stepmother attempted to delay the April court date stating my father couldn’t travel. The judge was made aware that my stepmother was keeping me from seeing my father and gave me a visitation order allowing me to visit my dad at the SC nursing home. The judge felt that my father was a PA resident and the order should be honored. The he judge felt that my stepmother had over stepped her authority. I drove to SC. The nursing home director refused to allow me to see or speak to my father. The director said he didn’t have to follow any order he only need to comply with my stepmother’s request. My stepmother has prevented my case from going forward. My father’s court appointed attorney has not been able to speak to my father and therefore cannot adequately represent him. Soon my father will be considered a resident of SC and I cannot afford to start my case over in that state. My father’s disease is progressing and I fear I will not see him again. I am heartbroken. I do not believe PA or SC have any laws to help me.

I was my mothers health care agent and trustee, Senior Lifestyles Corporation still denied me access to medical information and did not abide by the 42 CFR laws or the nursing home reform act or local Pa laws. We have no means of redress, I filed a federal Habeas and it was denied
https://www.pacermonitor.com/public/case/20999394/BUSH_v_GOODAL
so I appealed
https://www.pacermonitor.com/public/case/23082982/Mary_Bush_v_Kimberly_Goodall,_et_al
We need STRONG FEDERAL oversight and accountability with criminal penalties, my mom Genevieve Bush has been isolated since January 2016 receiving only bare minimal care. Mom has been denied the right to see her cardiologist, urologist, orthopedic doctor. Maybe some of our advocacy should be directed to the Governor in every state and the CEO’s of these billion dollar holding facilities. I am not getting any help in Pa, the forced isolation and lack of good care will take my mothers life.

Too bad this statue does not protect individuals who live in independent living and are not subject to CMS regulation, but are still prevented from seeing friends and family they want to by guardians interested in money. The 60 year old ward we are concerned about lives in a “continuum of care” community, but since she’s not technically in assisted living (guardian has her in independent living, with a private caregiver a few times a week), we can’t use this to assist us.

Thank you for this information. I have been blocked private access with my vulnerable and exploited mother for the past three years by the abusive family caretaker. In 2017 I was blocked access at a State funded hospital which is also a CMS violation. This has also happened to several other families I know. In an effort to combat elder abuse we have developed a vulnerable adult software suite which has public safety tools to help get the necessary elder abuse and facilities violations information out to the public. The Free online Software is aviable at www.citizenspublicsafetynetwork.com there is also a public safety map where you can tack your own experiences, profile and track abusive person violations as part of the software system.

My 94 year old father had been living in the NC Veterans home in Black Mountain for almost a year following rehab from a fall. My sister who was his POA and who lived in Pennsylvania decided she was just going to leave him there to die. Meanwhile she started cleaning out his house without his permission. He noticed a lot of items were taken and he was quite unhappy about it. So he called me in Indiana and asked me to come see him, wherein he changed the POA to me. He decided he wanted to move out of the nursing home, so we took him to Indiana with us, and thats when she filed a petition against him alleging he was incompetent. A interim guardian was appointed for his finances (which was fine by me as there had not been any auditing or oversight of my fathers finances for 7 years.=). An Interim guardian was appointed for his person ( a for profit organization) and they proceeded to force him back to NC and back to the nursing home. He has been isolated at this nursing home that he calls “jail”. He is not allowed phone calls or visits from either my family or my sisters until the hearing is over. Basically he is being denied his civil and human rights. He states he is no longer a person- and they are telling him when he can breathe. He is not incompetent. yet they are treating him as such. The guardian of his person removed the new cell phone I purchased for him. I am fighting to get his rights restored and to have this agency stop treating him like a child. i would agree to supervised visits as well. If he needs help with some things, fine— but he should be allowed to live where he wants and to choose who he wants to spend time with. Removing all his rights is unethical and improper and if the NC courts support this abusive treatment of their elders while they are waiting on incompetency hearings then the state legislators need to put that in writing. If it is not a common practice to deny people their rights, then that also needs to be in writing and if a guardian agency oversteps their bounds they should be held accountable.

Hi Vicki I’m not exactly sure of the recourse given the situation we have experienced the exact same thing and some states are more keen on this than others what we did is got pro bono attorneys and then conducted mental evaluations of the relative and the caretaker to see if they were fit to be taken care of then you can proceed to get guardian/conservatorship by going in front of a court with magisraters it also depends on if that family member is the POA as well power of attorney which covers the general power of attorney and durable medical power of attorney it’s a much harder case if this person is the guardian and power of attorney and you can also call an ethics investigation according to your states statue and contact adult protective services some states have a separate department for elder affairs more priority is given to older adults or disabled and they can provide a welfare check along with you citing possible mental/psychological abuse by keeping them isolated this is a form of brainwashing and manipulation

What recourse is available when it is a family member that is isolating and refusing to allow other immediate family to visit?