Share Your Story

You’re not alone. Please share your story here so that others can benefit from your experiences. We can help each other heal and can take action together.

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Please leave your story and watch other people tell their stories at the Kasem Cares conference.

    Jennifer shared a story:

    Sturdy Hospital killed my mother Carol Smith. They used excessive force that caused catastrophic injuries and she died. They violated federal law strictly prohibits chemical restraining with haldol and fentanyl while knowing she had an active brain bleed from their abuse. She told me, my daughter and uncle they beat her so badly they killed her and was going to die, then they called me out of her room medicated her with haldol and fentanyl so she couldn’t speak. Two different scenarios on medical records. I was picking her up that day because all she needed was her eyeglasses changed. She was dizzy from seeing triple vision in one eye and she’s dead. It’s been all over the news here in Boston but I want justice for my mother. Police use excessive force and go to jail but these hospital staff members are still free and working during an investigation by state police and district attorney. Hospital waited EIGHT hours to send her to a trauma hospital knowing she was bleeding. I took many photos even though they told me I couldn’t. They even forged my name on medical records. I emailed chief medical examiner photos and the 2 stories that are lies. Please help me get justice so this doesn’t happen to anyone else. My 14yr old is devastated. My mom was her best friend and they killed her. I want to send you photos because you won’t believe she fell. You can’t fall ONE time and injure multiple sides of your face and head. Please help me get her story out there. God bless you all!

    Tammy shared a story:

    I was my mother’s ONLY caregiver for over 20 years and considering she is on the cusp of being 95, I did pretty good navigating the landscape alone. Because she now lives with my sibling does not mean I turn my cheek and let her fall by the wayside, question nothing, and just carry on with no action at all. She is my mother.
    I have serious concerns over her health. She still does not have functional hearing aids. When I asked if she had been to an audiologist, the answer was no, but new devices were ordered online. Her last set of hearing aids were custom made for her ears, for her specific issues with a complete evaluation done by an audiologist. I know because I paid for those. Her hearing has changed, the loss is severe. With dementia, hearing loss will amplify and/or fast track dementia. Because there are certain sounds she can longer hear, her brain equates what she does hear to what is most familiar to her, what she remembers (her loss is loss of pitch, not volume). Those assumptions lead to confusion for her because what she thinks she hears,most of the time, does not make sense and so she does her best to rationalize and figure things out and frustration sets in. She has Medicaid/partial Medicaid, a portion of the cost will be picked up, unless of course that portion has already been used on some internet, clever marketing campaign for hearing aids without the benefit of an actual exam. If, for any reason, none of the above can be accomplished, they do make hearing amplifiers that amplify sound in a room while muting background noises. I can pick up that cost if Ira is not willing or unable.
    She needs glasses, not dollar store readers, real glasses by a real eye doctor. She has cataracts and surgery is risky because her blood pressure tends to rise so much. Eyeglasses to accommodate her vision loss would help greatly. Imagine not being able to see or hear. I can’t imagine that provides any sort of safe feeling at all. She has no bottom teeth which makes eating difficult. Again, Medicaid will now cover a portion of the cost. It is a simple matter of getting her to the dentist.
    She is 95 and she fell and broke her hip. A huge percentage of the population, much younger than she, does not survive much more than a few months after hip surgery. She has survived because she is resilient and tough and deserves to have adequate medical attention for her small and large issues. The hip surgery and dementia has also thrown a wrench into identifying when she has a UTI and when her confusion is caused by the dementia and not a UTI. A UTI can mimic dementia behavior and sepsis will set in quickly if the UTI is untreated because caregivers do not know enough to rule out or treat the UTI. Because she has dementia (which by the way, Ira denied her ever having and fervently rallied and bullied her into remaining in her home alone, saying always, to anyone who asked, “she is fine”. He conveniently acquiesces to her dementia diagnoses now, saying it is newly discovered. I imagine he does that to quell his own guilt and shame at having been absent for any support, emotional or physical and present for any financial assistance he needed, for most of the last 20 years.). And yes, I am angered by that as I should be. And yes, on more than one occasion I have told him exactly what my opinion was of him and what I thought about his lack of character and his inability to grow up.
    Her change of residence did not have to be so confusing or uprooting. For her, it has been a total loss of the life she knew for the last 20 years, being inserted into a household where she has not been allowed to even remember those parts of her life which has introduced confusion, isolation, and a sense of having to live a certain way in order to keep the peace and keep herself safe. My sibling says it makes her sad to remember. I say it makes her sad to think that because she moved, she had to completely give up the ONLY family who provided for her, loved her, and supported her for the last 20 years. She had to give up any sense of familiarity with anything because remembering or wanting to hold on to certain parts of her life would make it inconvenient for him. He says that she gets anxious at not having her old life and talking about it brings about frustration for himself and his girlfriend. He believes that making my mom forget is what will keep her calm. My siblings did not even know her well enough to know what was normal and what was not normal for her so almost everything they do is something new for my mom. She is not able to adjust to change that easily and is resistant. Her entire life has become unfamiliar to her. My mother’s neighbor of 20 years could not identify my sibling until he knocked on their door 7-9 months ago and explained who he was along with some slanderous talk about why he supposedly “decided to take over”. Her neighbors still could not identify my sister if she knocked them over the head. That is how often my siblings were ever around my mother. My mom’s neighbors participated in her care over the last 20 years. My mom should be allowed to retain some normalcy in her life no matter how inconvenient it may be for Ira or Tina. It is a small inconvenience that could be such a positive force for my mom.
    I am worried about the care my mother is not receiving. I don’t intend to sit on my hands. I want to see my mother, I want to know about her health, I want to be able to speak with her. In 9 months, I have been allowed me to see her once and that one time I received instruction from him ahead of time on what I was allowed to talk about and how long I was able to stay. She has a “granddaughter” that he refuses to let her see or talk to even though Mom specifically cried and asked when she would be able to see Kylar. To me, the isolation and subtle emotional manipulation that my sibling and his girlfriend have subjected my mother to is unfair and abusive. My mother believes that I don’t see her because I do not want to. She believes I do not call her because I do not want to. I try every day and I am told “I am working overtime so mom doesn’t have access to a phone, mom is sleeping, mom is medicated and confused, mom is not here, etc.” I have no doubt she has been told that I do not call or do not ask to visit. I am more than aware she has been told many untruthful things by both Ira and Tina as a means to force her to detach. You are more than welcome to my phone records if you want to verify that. That is emotional manipulation and abuse. I am sure others would agree and I do not intend on allowing it to continue.
    Again, I would like to talk with my mom, have regularly scheduled talks, be able to visit, etc.

    Cynthia shared a story:

    I am one of four children and the youngest child. I was named Power of Attorney by my parents in 2013. I assisted in caring for them in their home for many years. In 2019, my husband and I created an en-suite apartment for my parents in my home. I wanted to create a space to give them the opportunity to age-in-place with dignity and respect while providing the safety and assistance they required. My father had a Dementia diagnosis at this time and had bouts of aggression and rage. I employed two caregivers to help get some relief a few hours a day.

    He passed away in September of 2019 and my mother continued to live in the en-suite apartment. Around that time, she started showing signs that her Dementia was worsening. I decided to keep the caregivers on as my mother enjoyed their time and her safety needs were increasing.

    Fast-forward to this March 2020 when the world shuts down and a caregiver burden is exponentially increased with the COVID-19 pandemic as there are no options for relief, no respite, no breaks, no assistance from anyone including family members. We lost my mother in-law to COVID not long after the pandemic started and we were unable to have a proper funeral secondary to the situation at hand. This further expounded the grief and stress I had to experience. This is all in addition to my son having an AVM with grand mal seizures requiring my care as well. My son was hospitalized twice for severe brain swelling.

    Once the world started to open back up in the summer of 2020, I was desperate for respite and assistance. I had hoped my sister would start to assist in the care to give me a break, however I was refused assistance . I got into a fight with my sister where I stopped speaking to her. My niece my (sisters daughter) sent me a message that the burden of care lies on the person who took my parents in and that I should be grateful for any help I get. Needless to say we stopped speaking as well.

    I continued caring for my mother with some assistance from her caregivers I had hired once it was safe for them to return. My brother and his wife came and helped as often as they could especially after my sister and I stopped speaking. I never barred anyone from communicating with or seeing my mother.

    On May 1st 2021, my niece came to my home while I was out of town visiting my ailing Aunt and took my mother to her home under the guise of her staying for just the night. My sister in-law was at my house and immediately called me and the police were called the next day when my mother was not returned. She refused to return my mother and had my mother sign a revocation of Power of Attorney for her bank that was found to be a falsified document.

    I am currently stuck in Probate Court battles as a Guardian-Ad-Litem determined that my niece was providing care that was “exemplary” for my mother, despite the fact that she runs an in-home daycare out of her home, is not vaccinated, and does not use any PPE for her or the children. My mother is also unvaccinated.

    My niece has barred everyone in the family from seeing my mother and has limited any phone conversations. I haven’t been able to speak to her in over a 3 months. She has told my mother that we have all stolen her money and sold her house. Yes, I along with my 2 brothers and sister sold her home in 2020 as it was no longer safe for her to live alone and we knew she would not be returning, all the money from the sale went into my mothers account.

    The Guardian-Ad-Litem doesn’t seem to understand that isolation from us is damaging the relationship we have with my mother. My mother is being manipulated by my niece as she is told repeatedly how evil we all are and how we’ve stolen her money. There have been times that my kids have gotten through to my Mom on the phone and she is pleasant and wants to see us. As soon as we make plans, my niece will have my mother get upset and tell us she doesn’t want to see us. On one occasion, my niece called the police on my daughter claiming she was threatening her when she made plans to see my mother.

    My niece listens in on the phone conversations they are able to have and manipulates those as well. On a conversation my daughter had with her, when she asked to see her for lunch, my mother said “they are shaking their head no.” The Guardian-Ad-Litem reports that my mother told her that she doesn’t want to see anyone aside from my son and his girlfriend, however that still has not been arranged. My niece is manipulating my mother to say these things as she reminds her every day of how “awful and evil” we are and how we’ve stolen her money.

    The Guardian-Ad-Litem believes my mother should be able to decide that she doesn’t want to see anyone (despite her saying she does want to see us on numerous occasions when we do talk to her) and doesn’t believe that a person with Dementia could be manipulated like this.

    This is further compounded by the Guardian-Ad-Litem believing my niece and accusing me of maleficence as I paid caregivers cash and did not use checks from my mothers account or a 1099. We are in the process of trying to prove this is inaccurate in court.

    Health records show my mother has lost 20 pounds in a 2 month period which upon my research is warning sign for elder abuse and increases her risk for mortality. The Guardian-Ad-Litem claims that this weight loss is explained by her living a more active lifestyle.

    My niece got personal protective orders against myself, my husband, and my sister in-law within days of taking her to Jackson County where PPO’s are easily obtained.

    This whole process has been so incredibly awful, heartbreaking, and defeating. The only people who have seen my mother since May 1st are my nieces family. I, my brothers, my sister-in-laws, my husband, my sons, my daughter my 6 other nieces and nephews, have all been unable to see her.

    The Gal will has not allowed me to call her or email her or show proof of all the expenses from my mothers account. Every time we go to court she goes on and on about all the cash withdrawals I took but will not let me say what any of them are for.

    My niece even tried to have me arrested when I took my son to U of M hospital where he has been a patient since 2018 for her inoperable brain Avm. My niece happened to show up with my Mom who has never been a patient there and accuse me of violating the PPO. I have not slept in 3 months this is beyond cruel and I need whatever help I can get to fight these evil monsters.

    Is there any information you could share that we could use in court to communicate the caregiver burden and/or the ability for someone with Dementia to be manipulated in this manner?

    At this point, I feel so hopeless. I do not know whether I will see my mother ever again as the courts move slowly and she continues to be isolated from us even more. I am absolutely heartbroken to be isolated from my mother and to be accused of such awful things after I have spent the last 10 years being the primary caregiver.

    If you read this, I appreciate you taking the time. If there is anything you can do, please let me know.

    Cynthia shared a story:

    I am one of four children and the youngest child. I was named Power of Attorney by my parents in 2013. I assisted in caring for them in their home for many years. In 2019, my husband and I created an en-suite apartment for my parents in my home. I wanted to create a space to give them the opportunity to age-in-place with dignity and respect while providing the safety and assistance they required. My father had a Dementia diagnosis at this time and had bouts of aggression and rage. I employed two caregivers to help get some relief a few hours a day.

    He passed away in September of 2019 and my mother continued to live in the en-suite apartment. Around that time, she started showing signs that her Dementia was worsening. I decided to keep the caregivers on as my mother enjoyed their time and her safety needs were increasing.

    Fast-forward to this March 2020 when the world shuts down and a caregiver burden is exponentially increased with the COVID-19 pandemic as there are no options for relief, no respite, no breaks, no assistance from anyone including family members. We lost my mother in-law to COVID not long after the pandemic started and we were unable to have a proper funeral secondary to the situation at hand. This further expounded the grief and stress I had to experience. This is all in addition to my son having an AVM with grand mal seizures requiring my care as well. My son was hospitalized twice for severe brain swelling.

    Once the world started to open back up in the summer of 2020, I was desperate for respite and assistance. I had hoped my sister would start to assist in the care to give me a break, however I was refused assistance . I got into a fight with my sister where I stopped speaking to her. My niece my (sisters daughter) sent me a message that the burden of care lies on the person who took my parents in and that I should be grateful for any help I get. Needless to say we stopped speaking as well.

    I continued caring for my mother with some assistance from her caregivers I had hired once it was safe for them to return. My brother and his wife came and helped as often as they could especially after my sister and I stopped speaking. I never barred anyone from communicating with or seeing my mother.

    On May 1st 2021, my niece came to my home while I was out of town visiting my ailing Aunt and took my mother to her home under the guise of her staying for just the night. My sister in-law was at my house and immediately called me and the police were called the next day when my mother was not returned. She refused to return my mother and had my mother sign a revocation of Power of Attorney for her bank that was found to be a falsified document.

    I am currently stuck in Probate Court battles as a Guardian-Ad-Litem determined that my niece was providing care that was “exemplary” for my mother, despite the fact that she runs an in-home daycare out of her home, is not vaccinated, and does not use any PPE for her or the children. My mother is also unvaccinated.

    My niece has barred everyone in the family from seeing my mother and has limited any phone conversations. I haven’t been able to speak to her in over a 3 months. She has told my mother that we have all stolen her money and sold her house. Yes, I along with my 2 brothers and sister sold her home in 2020 as it was no longer safe for her to live alone and we knew she would not be returning, all the money from the sale went into my mothers account.

    The Guardian-Ad-Litem doesn’t seem to understand that isolation from us is damaging the relationship we have with my mother. My mother is being manipulated by my niece as she is told repeatedly how evil we all are and how we’ve stolen her money. There have been times that my kids have gotten through to my Mom on the phone and she is pleasant and wants to see us. As soon as we make plans, my niece will have my mother get upset and tell us she doesn’t want to see us. On one occasion, my niece called the police on my daughter claiming she was threatening her when she made plans to see my mother.

    My niece listens in on the phone conversations they are able to have and manipulates those as well. On a conversation my daughter had with her, when she asked to see her for lunch, my mother said “they are shaking their head no.” The Guardian-Ad-Litem reports that my mother told her that she doesn’t want to see anyone aside from my son and his girlfriend, however that still has not been arranged. My niece is manipulating my mother to say these things as she reminds her every day of how “awful and evil” we are and how we’ve stolen her money.

    The Guardian-Ad-Litem believes my mother should be able to decide that she doesn’t want to see anyone (despite her saying she does want to see us on numerous occasions when we do talk to her) and doesn’t believe that a person with Dementia could be manipulated like this.

    This is further compounded by the Guardian-Ad-Litem believing my niece and accusing me of maleficence as I paid caregivers cash and did not use checks from my mothers account or a 1099. We are in the process of trying to prove this is inaccurate in court.

    Health records show my mother has lost 20 pounds in a 2 month period which upon my research is warning sign for elder abuse and increases her risk for mortality. The Guardian-Ad-Litem claims that this weight loss is explained by her living a more active lifestyle.

    My niece got personal protective orders against myself, my husband, and my sister in-law within days of taking her to Jackson County where PPO’s are easily obtained.

    This whole process has been so incredibly awful, heartbreaking, and defeating. The only people who have seen my mother since May 1st are my nieces family. I, my brothers, my sister-in-laws, my husband, my sons, my daughter my 6 other nieces and nephews, have all been unable to see her.

    The Gal will has not allowed me to call her or email her or show proof of all the expenses from my mothers account. Every time we go to court she goes on and on about all the cash withdrawals I took but will not let me say what any of them are for.

    My niece even tried to have me arrested when I took my son to U of M hospital where he has been a patient since 2018 for her inoperable brain Avm. My niece happened to show up with my Mom who has never been a patient there and accuse me of violating the PPO. I have not slept in 3 months this is beyond cruel and I need whatever help I can get to fight these evil monsters.

    Is there any information you could share that we could use in court to communicate the caregiver burden and/or the ability for someone with Dementia to be manipulated in this manner?

    At this point, I feel so hopeless. I do not know whether I will see my mother ever again as the courts move slowly and she continues to be isolated from us even more. I am absolutely heartbroken to be isolated from my mother and to be accused of such awful things after I have spent the last 10 years being the primary caregiver.

    If you read this, I appreciate you taking the time. If there is anything you can do, please let me know.

    Starr shared a story:

    Conservatorship and guardianship cases come to light in various ways.
    My husband of many years was put under conservatorship by his own children and taken from our home.
    Then I was served with divorce papers. And yes i was divorced by my STEPSON on behalf of his father.
    My husband was 87 years old and suffered with Alzheimer’s and even verbally said in court that he did not want a divorce. But the.Stepson prevailed. It was all about money.
    Now I’m basically homeless with only modest resources and I’m staying with my sister. My husband died of Alzheimer’s on May 4th 2021 in a nursing home alone and I was not notified by these adult children until 2 weeks AFTER his death.
    I’ve done nothing wrong nor violated any sort of laws or trust. The STEPSON had access to the money and I’m now $50,000 in debt and no way to pay those costs. I’m 73 years old and my spirit has been crushed and I am so alone. No one believes the whole story so I’ve stopped sharing it, even with close friends.
    I have watched the unfolding of the Britany Spears story and I can empathize with her situation.
    The lesson here is. “the Conservatorship/Guardianship is broken” and I’d like to help to bring these stories to light and change the laws. I am a warrior, a strong woman
    with a very heavy heart that is broken.

    Stephanie shared a story:

    My Mother was isolated by extended family members, an attorney, and a guardian/conservator. In order to get information, I had to reach out to the police and request a missing person’s report be filed. The abuse continued, as the guardian/conservator auctioned off all of her possessions, including our family Bible and personal photographs. It cost me thousands of dollars in legal fees and I had to fight to protect my Mother’s right to dignity and to have her wishes protected. I am grateful to Kasem Cares for bringing this horrific abuse to light. It must stop.

    Lashaun shared a story:

    Put it this way, the movie, “I Care Alot” , was and is so close to my story! My mouth dropped in disarray because that showed me that multiple people are going through this same atrocity! This movie was not just a movie, it is a documentary of so many peoples real-life nightmares! The legally provided business entities and council such as fiduciaries/guardians/conservators provided by the court is purposely designed to financially rape, mentally and emotionally isolate and physically abuse leading to the victim failing to thrive/live! They only do this to the people that have assets whom they can gouge! They only act in their own best interest! They demonize and attack the character of all family and loved ones to their victims! The judicial system supports this type of predatory behavior and treats the relatives like garbage too!

    Sally shared a story:

    I brought my sister to my home in Grand Rapids, Michigan when her legs would not let her walk, although she could transfer herself from bed to chair, etc. She had lived in Garden Grove, CA most of her adult life. Her possessions were put into storage in CA. She lived in my home for several months until we found her a nice assisted living apartment. One day in her apartment, she fell and broke her foot. The hospital put her into a nursing home for rehabilitation. She has been there since about October of 2019. It is now June of 2021. I got her a guardian because I thought another person to help with her care would be nice. This was the worst thing I could have done for her. The guardian does nothing, does not pay her bills, and has never given her a single dollar to buy herself anything. No hair cuts, pedicures, underwear, no personal items whatsoever, etc. The guardian refused to pay her storage bills in CA and she lost everything she owned. The guardian gave up her assisted living apartment and threw away her shoes, clothing, and many of the things in her apartment that I could not get out of the apartment fast enough. The guardian even refused to take the new recliner chair that I purchased for her to the nursing home so she had a nice chair to sit in. I got a moving company and took it to the nursing home myself. The guardian purchased a life insurance policy and is paying for it out of my sister’s social security. My sister did not need this policy. The Guardian has refused to let me visit my sister ever since she was in the nursing home. I have tried to rid our lives of this guardian, but the judge refuses to permit this. My sister wants the guardian gone from her care. The guardian has now put my sister in hospice care, but there is nothing wrong with my sister. She has no medical condition that would end her life. I do talk with her on ZOOM whenever I can and I always ask her if there is anything wrong with her other than being diabetic and high blood pressure and she says no. To me, she appears to be drugged sometimes in our talks. But she can still talk well except forgetting words just like most elderly people do.

    Now here is another court case in my life. In 2005 Michigan took my granddaughter away from me because I offered her a cookie one day to quickly finish her lunch. She was four and did not like to eat. This was something that the family court decided to do, so they could terminate my daughter’s rights, as they already had my granddaughter placed with a family who wanted to adopt her. My daughter was not well and had given me the care of my granddaughter which I had from the day she was born. Michigan statute says that when the child is being cared for by a relative, that the state has no interest. But our judge took it anyway.

    My point is that the probate court judge who handles my sister’s case with the guardian had his staff look up my daughter’s case to see if they could find something they could use against me. However, evidently, they found that I did nothing wrong to lose my granddaughter. So they decided to just deny me the right to get the guardian off my sister’s case. I have tried to get the guardian removed several times, but the judge refuses and never gives a reason why the guardian should stay on the case or why I cannot visit my sister. Personally, I now believe it is because they want to keep me from my sister so it keeps her from anyone seeing what is truly happening to her. She is just lying in a hospice bed and is slowly losing the will to live so they can get whatever money they have managed to have in her account and life insurance. She is 75 years of age. She is a veteran and would like to either live at the veteran’s home in Grand Rapids or come and live with me again.

    Melinda shared a story:

    In 2018 my grandmother became really sick. She called me at work and said something is wrong. By the time I had left work, she was on her way to the hospital. She was turning blue and was rushed to surgery. My mother and I took turns visiting her in the hospital. One day, one of the children (she has 7 and grandpa passed in 2007) changed the locks on her house door. One of the other siblings tried taking her cellphone away from her. Then my mother and I found out that 3 of the siblings were her POA, they handed my mother the papers in the hospital. We were shocked because there was NEVER any family discussion about who would take care of my grandparents. So my grandma was in the hospital for several weeks, then came home. The 3 siblings started calling the lawyer to ask questions about what they can do with her money. The lawyer said you can’t touch your mother’s money, it’s not yours to begin with.
    One day my grandmother overheard a phone conversation with 2 siblings and they were talking about her money. My grandmother got mad and said leave my money alone! They told her don’t worry about it we have it taken care of. My grandma was mad and was distraught. My mother and I received a phone call from my grandma and said I need you to come over to my house. We said ok. She started to tell my mother and I about not having any money in the bank. We asked her what is going on? It turns out the 3 siblings were closing and opening accounts and trying to shift the money around to the point where she was receiving her social security and pension checks she gets each month. She was now overdrawn and had no money for groceries. My grandma had enough and asked us for help. We quickly found a new lawyer for her in August 2018 and signed new POA papers for her. Not even 1 week into being in charge, the whole gang of siblings, grandchildren, and my grandmother’s brother started coming around. She said they told her let us take care of you, she said NO.
    We had to call all of her pension and SS places to fix her finances. It took us 3 months to fix it and get it back to normal.
    We also discovered that one of the siblings NEVER filed her taxes for 3 years (IRS said a civil suit can be filed)
    we also discovered that my grandfather had a WILL which we never knew about. It was drafted in 1985 and all 3 of the same siblings were in charge of that WILL as well.
    Then on December 26 2018, my grandmother called us and told us that she is going to one of the siblings house for the weekend. We told her that is not a good idea. 1 week later, on my mothers birthday, we received a letter in the mail and were fired as POAs in 2019.
    Now my grandmother’s brother and 1 of the siblings are in charge of grandma. My grandma has been diagnosed with dementia but can still make decisions for herself.
    For the next 2 years, my mother and I still took care of her, the POAs were NOT even in the picture. We made sure she had food, her medication, and was safe during the pandemic. But it didn’t last long.
    One day I was at my grandmas house and her brother showed up. He and I got into a shouting match and he demanded the password to her health account. I told him no and that she doesn’t want you or the other sibling taking care of her. I contacted my mother at work and told her what happened.
    We contacted an attorney to try and help us. He gave us some advice but so far has done nothing to help.
    We noticed that her medication started going missing and that the numbers were off. We called the police and the police said do we have proof that they are missing? One of the other siblings admitted to the police that she TOOK the medication and hid it in her trunk of her car. She returned the pills to my grandmas house and the police did NOTHING. Not even an arrest.
    The very next day all of her pills went missing. We received an affidavit from my grandmother’s brother saying we are not allowed to take care of her anymore. Keep in mind he was not in the picture for 2 years. The affidavit was notarized in Alabama even though we are in Michigan which made no sense. So we told the attorney and he just said we cannot do anything about it. Stay out of it. One of the other siblings was chosen to give my grandma her medication. My mother and I were no longer to take care of her.
    We took my grandma to her next doctors appointment and the doctor said she is of “sound mind and can make her own decisions, but her doctor still ordered a neuropsychological test to see if she really does have dementia.” Instead of using the referrel from the doctor, her brother made other arrangements to have my grandma tested without notifying my grandma.If she is found mentally incompetent, we will never see her again. My grandma stood up to her daughter and demanded she return the pills and she said NO and that they only answer to her brother who is in charge. My grandma is unable to do anything.
    Now, The brother and other siblings are hiring a nurse to give my grandma her pills starting next week. My grandma kept asking us, don’t I have a say in this? The brother and other siblings have everything already planned out for her and aren’t telling my grandma and us about what’s going on. They also erase her phone call logs so that it looks like no one is calling her and no record of calls coming through, and are also trying their best to keep us away from her.
    Our lawyer that we hired, we have now fired, Dana Nessel’s elder abuse task force here in Michigan won’t help (I asked for help in 2020 and was turned away) and we are stressed out and are out of answers for help.
    please consider reaching out to us because we need help. We are afraid for her safety and she is in DANGER in their care. They are getting away with everything. I want to help this organization anyway I can as well. If I have to get the word out I will, speaking engagements, the news, anything!

    Khadi shared a story:

    In 2009 my former son in law, Donald, was placed on hospice due to liver cancer, although, at the time laser treatment was available for lesions on his liver, he was rushed onto hospice. (Since then the hospice company has been found guilty of placing patients on hospice before their eligible time) and therefore obstructing possible curative measures. Hospice, naturally, puts an end to curative measures. Prior to that in 2007-08 his children noticed that he would get sick each time he would eat food cooked by his wife. They also noticed bottles of medications that were brought home by his hospice wife, an RN. When they asked about the people’s names on the bottles, none of whom they recognized, the teenaged children by his first wife were packed off and sent back to their mother. It had become known that this new wife had also changed insurance policies diverting funds from the children to herself. Further, while on hospice at home, the wife was seen to have injected Donald with pink fluid of some kind (later identified by a court expert hematologist as anti-freeze). The children were not ever allowed back in the home to see their father, and the deed to the house had been changed to the new wife taking it out of his ownership and therefore out of his control as to who could come and who couldn’t. Up until and upon his death the children were barred from not only seeing their father, but also from attending his memorial service and repast and had the police called on them when they tried to attend. Family members lived under fear that they would be thrown out and barred from seeing Donald in his last weeks before she gave him the final shot. Worse, these children now adult have never been able to obtain their father’s hospice records because the wife/widow has the power of attorney and even though she is now married over 10 years, under law she is still his next of kin, of which there should be a time limit if the spouse is remarried. These children suffered a trauma over this from which they are still suffering emotionally.

    Barb shared a story:

    My Mom is a current victim of Guardianship Conservatorship abuse in Boise Idaho. 3 attorneys and Guardian have put her in ALF. Over medicating her. Sold her home. Neglecting her eye health. I told on them and now they are targeting me. Won’t allow my mom to leave facility in Meridian Idaho to move closer to me. I was told today they aren’t going to let her move to the new ALF I found because “they hate me”.
    No one will help. I begged Idaho Legal Aid to help me. Nope.
    I turned all this and more in to Elder Abuse and they won’t hell.
    . Serenity assisted living hangs up on us when we call. Sometimes say she W doesn’t want to speak to us.
    We are being prevented from speaking to our Mom. We are 12 hour away. We wanted to move her to North Idaho and they sabotage it. Courts in Boise don’t care. They are spending away my Mom’s estate. No one will help me. Now this “Squad” is attacking me.

    This squad of attorneys are all conflict of interests too. Two work at same lawfirm. Other went to school with one. The two at same lawfirm… One is other’s boss.

    I cried all day. My poor poor mom.

    Michael shared a story:

    (There is a LOT of testimony taken waaayout of context AND documents AND procedures put in the Court record which were and ARE quite exaggerated truths…AND…)

    I love my mother beyond measure. I knew it would be a huge undertaking and a heavy responsibility to care of her at home; I did not take this lightly. Through training and research, mostly at and with the staff and facilities she was at prior, I felt confident and competent to provide care for her.

    At home, she has been well fed, medicated, bathed, turned, encouraged to move, regaining motor and cognitive skills to a degree that was humbling and rewarding to observe. I did have and will continue to have assistance from doctors, nurses, therapists, social workers and aides, both in the home and with outpatient appointments.

    I’ve been my mother’s guardian for nearly four years alongside my sister who was sole guardian for fifteen years prior to that. My mother has been living with me for five months. I have provided for her in every way possible with exceptional care. My mom does need assistance with a lot of things. I was able to provide for her on every level with the assistance of private pay caregivers, home health agencies, and some financial support from family. She had a seizure on the morning of April 21st. I called an ambulance, and the paramedics made observations about my behaviour and the way they found my mom. They forwarded these concerns to adult protective service, who in turn gave the go-ahead for an attorney from the hospital my mom went to to file an emergency petition for third party guardianship. This hearing took place, and effectively my sister and I were removed as guardians, albeit temporarily. Michigan guardian services is now The Guardian for my mom. I am more concerned about her placement. She has been put back into an institutionalised setting similar to the type of environment and place that I’ve been able to get her out of. At home, we were very successful with actually helping her recover, rehabilitate, feel safe, and be loved.

    Her current provider states that she has epilepsy when previous doctors have confirmed her seizure disorder came about from medications, as did her Parkinsonianism. She has no previous medical history following her, and I’ve been unsuccessful thus far with providing correct information to both the temporary guardian and the facility.

    I’ve been blessed with many friends in my time thus far, though my mom is truly my best friend. I made a home for her, providing for her in many ways…often saying I’m not married, but I settled down for the right girl.

    My objection was not acknowledged nor put into the court record, though I submitted the way I was instructed by a court clerk due to the short notice:

    I hereby Object to the petition for third party guardianship regarding my mother, Doreen (Berg) Lipson, case # 2001-277, 029-GA.

    There has been no substantiated evidence to show my care for her at home has exposed to her a risk of injury, illness, and/or death. Her needs have been exceedingly met under my care with assistance from outpatient treatments and appointments, home health agencies, private caregivers, and many professionals who have regularly seen her body, her cleanliness, her demeanor, the home in which we live, alongside how she is with me and I am with her regarding all aspects of her care. Her well being from states of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual have improved beyond measure being with me…whereas: she has now been able to speak her mind, make some informed decisions, sing and talk, express her feelings, medicated healthfully, approved by many medical personnel involved in her care….able to eat well, and further been able to feed herself, holding cutlery, cups, regaining further cognitive and motor skills…stretching and exercising every day…able to move otherwise contracted body parts, gaining strength of all varieties, all the while being loved, feeling loved, cleaned, for both incontinence and hygiene, turned, and maintained in a myriad many ways.

    I did not neglect, abuse nor subject her to anything so grossly negative to allow for her to be removed from her private residence where there is plenty of corroborating proof in her care by me, let alone to have her guardianship modified nor changed to the effect of disrupting her fragile state.

    She has truly recovered, rehabilitated, and thrived with me. We have a lot more help on the horizon, as well. I am very concerned that she will be placed back into an institutionalized situation which will compromise the incredible strides my mom has made at this point in her life.

    There is no good, just cause to disrupt her living situation and guardianship based on exaggerated claims regarding my care for her with unfounded accusations.

    Please, for the true best interest of my sweet mama: consider this objection.




    Beyond the plethora of video and audio documentation I have of her care with and by me at home, I have a whole lot of people who tell me they will be willing to provide testimony and statements…

    I do not have all the specific numbers since my previous phone did not have contacts backed up properly ….so, now, it may be tough to get info without release forms signed, if they allow it..

    Pertinent Timeline (still not detailed enough) :

    September 13 2020-my mom had an aspiration episode and a seizure while housed at the MarvinBettyDanto facility in WestBloomfield…sending her to HenryFord Hospital for three weeks then sending her to Hospices intake even after recovering far better than her prior baseline and surely not needing the PEG tube which was ordered upon admission…only having hospice designation from a Parkinson diagnosis which had been previously and since been confirmed as Parkinsonianism.

    …Nov. 24 2020- mom discharged from Villa Park Ridge to my care at home 765 Waterman

    APS was alerted on this day to concerns for her safety, presumably based on conversations regarding her condition, care, alongside their obligations to follow Medicaid rules I had with high personnel at Arbor Hospice (she was in the intake in Saline there for three weeks prior to a month spent at Villa in Ypsilanti); there was a police call to the Intake on me as I was being loud in the room with my mom, which doesn’t help my cause, though it may not have been completely justified, it was misinterpreted as aggression. I feel this is not an excuse, as it does bear some explanation.

    …the initial Arbor nurse, Chris Heikka had agreed that since we didn’t want morphine, we didn’t need to have it.

    …I explained a possible theory of multiple personalities and referenced an exorcism in relation to that; NOT the seizures; since being prescribed Keppra on January 20, I had administered it to her as prescribed.

    …I had inquired with Arbor many times about my mom’s desires for plan of care, respite, Durable Medical Equipment and Supplies…and, informed them I was going to look at other agencies.

    …I had interviewed several, one ready to take her, but they and all the others said that she was a great candidate for home health since Hospice was not the right move for her at that time.

    …I had given my mom psilocybin after discussing and getting approval with Hospice Doctor and Villa Nurse Practitioner Christine Johnson. I discontinued this when the U-M neurologist stated this may not be a good fit for someone with a history of mental issues.

    …Hospice discharged mom claiming I had already signed up with a new company, February 21.

    …I had called many times before AND after to plead with them to remove the faulty catheter they put in mere days prior…since no coverage existed for a nurse or doctor due to Medicaid not releasing her from Hospice diagnosis for another eleven days.

    ……on April 21, I explained to a medical assistant outside the ER that I hadn’t slept much the day prior and that, though she missed two doses of Keppra in the previous week, I doubled the dose , as directed by doctor.

    …I also stated that I had given four measured syringes of liquid Arivan during the seizure episode, as directed.

    …the blood work from the ER will show Keppra!

    …the bedsheet will show sweat and prune juice!!

    …the tempurpaedic mattress she was on was stained, from other hired agency aides who had left her wet; I had dried and sanitized that mattress and she was free from even a speck of feces.

    …I provided complete, accurate information to APS. I know they didn’t come to the home on April 21st, as my sister got a call from them when my mom was in the ambulance. They would have found the house doors open, with my box of money, sunglasses and cell phone still sitting outside the front door, as I left them in the rush to follow behind the ambulance.

    …I told the paramedics on scene that I had her medications memorized and that there was already an updated chart with medical history in the file at the hospital. I did behave erratic, though with my mom having a seizure, me moving stuff out of the way for the paramedics to come in, getting the oxygen tank, putting a bag together of my mom’s belongings, starting my van, then being told I was unable to ride with nor visit with her due to covid spike, regardless of her being unresponsive with me being her support, son, caregiver and guardian…I was surely not so hysterical to have police called…as they arrived as a medical assist. Further, I said to my mom during the 911 call that she wouldn’t get, as she puts it, “toy-arrrested.”

    ..Dr. Adam Marks, Arbor Hospice discontinued seizure medication upon discharge from Hospice Intake to Villa Park Ridge, October 21. I asked for her to be on something for the disorder which “officially” began on September 13.

    fun times MUST return

    …I did indeed follow their covid protocol, though I was often told differing measures to take while visiting, as some staff were unclear alongside the government rescinding and changing their guidelines during this time.

    …Mom came to live with me on November 24.

    …Nov. 27- I was happy to receive a call from APS informing me that they were called to check in on me and my mom, as I invited them to come to the home and truly investigate the care for my mom.

    …Nov.‘20—-Jan.’21-I met and provided for ALL of the needs of my mom, with the limited assistance of a home health aide from the hospice, private pay caregivers, and visits from various hospice nurses and staff.

    (…Dec. 21-my mom requested a female charge nurse, so we requested this and started with Lori RN, and no longer Christopher Heikka RN)

    …Jan.20- my mom had a major seizure at home (she was provided absolutely no seizure meds even when I inquired and requested something since the first episode in September and I called for an ambulance. Hours prior to this, I knew something was wrong with her breathing…and there was emesis…I made calls to the Hospice agency since I was instructed not to call 911…i was told to keep an eye on her…when the seizure occurred, hospice did actually arrive and still did not want An ambulance since there was an insurance conflict…when they found she would be going to the hospital for a different reason than being on hospice, they “allowed” it.

    …Jan. 23- my mom returned home with me with a prescription for Keppra seizure medication which I administered to her as directed, 1000mg daily

    …Approx. Feb.16-the hospice company, upon my inquiry, inserted a catheter for a few days…so that she could sleep a little more uninterrupted without waking up wet and that I could also sleep some more too. I realized it was leaking upon the first day…and got an on-call nurse to remove and replace it…following day had a community paramedic arrive to determine that it was low on fluid and inserted more saline into it…the nurse who wound up coming with APS claimed she was going to remove the catheter upon my request and concern…but stated she was unable to since she didn’t feel she was well equipped to enter the tube into my mom due to her contractures…while I was able to work with my mom to help her relax her legs, with the assistance of the previous on-call nurse…

    …approx. Feb 17- Rita Sharma APS and Lori from Arbor (unannounced..as I found out this day that they are the ones who called APS) arrive at the home for an hour visit…accusing me of not providing medications as directed…wherein there was nothing from them I had been given for my mom which I was not providing for her. I believe the medication in question was morphine which, upon discussion with the previous nurse, we did not receive on our “comfort pack.” I was providing Arnica and Cannabis for pain, and it was approved by the previous nurse (since no doctor was ever available through hospice)…and those were absolutely working for my mom.

    …Feb. 19— Arbor tells APS who tells me that they want to remove us as clients due to indifferences so I was given the suggestion of finding another hospice company; I called and interviewed several and was told by most that she had recovered so well, didn’t require hospice, and that home health through medicaid would be a better fit. Arbor dropped my mom anyhow claiming that I had signed up with another company…which I did set up a future interview being assured we were still covered by arbor hospice…and they had no proof of their claim I had switched providers. Arbor then told APS they are afraid to bring staff to the house….not once consulting the many staff who entered the home and met with us, let alone the aide who saw my mom, her body, the home, my care for her, how my mom was improving on so many levels, aside from having each one of her needs met beyond what more likely could and would be done in any facility
    with Medicaid limitations, as well as staffing issues.

    …Feb. 21-still knowing there was something wrong with the catheter, I pleaded with Arbor to come and remove the catheter..since medicaid had her listed still as hospice, no doctor possible or any way to get another agency. We were also counting on a nurse on call to come and assist with suppositories (which I had at the home) when there hadn’t been a bowel movement in three days…I was told to call emergency…but I reached out again to community paramedic who sent an ambulance…my mom was waking up when they arrived with a low blood pressure so EMS stated they were obligated to take her…even when her BP rose to normal levels before getting in the ambulance; she was admitted for constipation…which was an 18 hour admission…with me changing her, cleaning her and reporting to the ER staff….then discharged back home.

    …approx. March 9—after knowing something was really wrong with the catheter and wanting it removed with no one able to touch it…even after we had signed up with PCP and a variety of home health agencies, I called for ambulance when I saw the motor skills and cognitive gains she had improved on over the time together and off the psych pills had started to drastically decline…I had suspected UTI for over two weeks…and this is what she had…she spent nearly three weeks at U-M where there was question brought up about my ability to care for her at home…they provided antibiotics …and even though a discharge seemed feasible after the infection cleared up, they sent her home to me with IV antibiotics to be administered at home…with follow up from Michigan Medicine Visiting Nurses…negating our previous home health agency…and disallowing a pending one; it was determined her infection had cleared…we did not get all of the visitis we were scheduled to have…but Social Work, Nurses, Aides, all had a different story to me regarding my mom’s care than what was represented in the courtroom. Their stopping of services was stated that Elara Home Health was ready to take over…which didn’t get completed either….

    …Approx. March 22-April 21-mom was with me, again having all of her needs exceedingly met, accompanied by the assistance of private caregivers and personel…while I continued to reach out for help, aid, and knowledge of other professionals…meanwhile continuously being forthright and honest with every agency and staff interested in my mom’s care…including the APS.

    ….incidentally, I had inquired with many companies for help and programs of a variety of types, including Area Agency on Aging…who were with us from the beginning of care at home…receiving no help until two workers show up in early April unequipped and unprepared to provide incontinence care and feminine hygiene even when they were represented as folks that would be able and willing to do these two tasks of priority for my ma. Area Agency claims we were given AND received 23 hours a day of home health care; we received about 18 hours total over a two week period and when I called the contracted company about the abilities and expectations of the workers as to if they were to be merely sitters or actual givers of care, the company dropped our case…all going back to APS now claiming that we could not work with Area Agency even after all the care and staff they provided.

    I know this is not concise, but it is fairly chronological. There is truly so much more as far as details; there truly has been no thorough investigation regarding my mom, her care by me at home, nor the home itself.
    feeding eating holding a spoon

    I do not feel she will be improving in a facility…as she was on many fronts with me at home. I am still very concerned about her overall well being, especially now that it appears she will be moved to a supposed rehab institution.

    I am in a continued state of getting and doing better, and I know where many of my deficits lay: I’m often sarcastic, obnoxious, emotional, uncivilized, rude, and otherwise difficult to work with because of these attributes. At times, I do have a disconnect from being calm and rational with becoming unruly. I do, like all folks, have many very positive qualities and learned to exhibit that positivity more and more, while being the opposite of violent, abusive and neglectful…especially towards my mom.

    My mental status has been brought into question alongside my ability to truly care for and provide care for my mom. My actions and words have been misinterpreted many times, and there are many aspects of the huge case made against me and the care I have been providing my ma that are blown quite out of proportion as well as being simply untrue.

    queen of the road:

    life will be Doreen…



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