You’re not alone. Please share your story here so that others can benefit from your experiences. We can help each other heal and can take action together.
* Please note that we do not share your information with other organizations. We are here to support you and we may reach out to you to learn more about your story. Please let us know immediately via email if you are contacted by groups other than Kasem Cares as a result of your communication with us.
* If you'd like to watch the 2017/2018 KasemCares Conference and get a discount code please mention it on the story, e.g. 'I would like to watch the Kasem Cares Conference'.
My mother’s husband died. For six months she was isolated. Removed from her state of birth & her then current residence to SoCal. In this system was isolated, medicated & all her rights taken away. When she spoke up in court she was medicated & headphones placed on her. She never spoke up or interupted again. Her phone was taken in court. She was denied phone calls & visitation with her only child and her dog was taken from her. She complained her pills had changed color, increased in amounts and were making her feel sick, weak & dizzy. She was then placed in memory care with a roommate that physically assaulted her twice leaving her unable to sleep for fear of being assaulted again or being killed in her sleep. She was fitted with a permanent monitor tracking device around her ankle. She states she feels like she is in jail. My mother will either go crazy or die in a situation like this.
How do I help her?
I fired Dr. Mark C.Spitz (Chief of Neuorology at University of Colorado Hospital) they gave me another Dr.So I could Refills on my well needed MEDS to controlled SEIZURES;He along with Dr. Chantal O’Brien And the Hospital KIDNAPPED me when I only was in to see O’Brien for check-Up and refills ;They put me on the 6th. FLOOR for 2 1/2months against my will instead making my home FORCLOSE and became HOMELESS;Is That JusticeMexica American Indian ISTHT JUSTICE/My #720-692-1620 CALL ME
My mother and I fled the country in 2016 to escape a fraudulent guardianship, to save her life, and are currently living in exile in Greece. Our story was featured as the keynote presentation at the AAAPG event on February 20, 2019. An expanded written version of our story is also posted on the site, and our interview with Dr. Sugar is on YouTube where you can meet my kind mother who regained her health once we escaped (AAAPG victim video Joanna Bougalis). We hid across the country for two months before being granted emergency passports for our safety by the Greek Embassy, and hid in a Monastery once we arrived. I recently spoke with Rick Black who notified me of your upcoming conference. I hope the presentations can be made available online! I would like to help in any way to fight for victim rights. Please let me know if I can be of service. Thank you for advocating! My Twitter is @ioanna2277.
I need some advice. My mother has dementia. She moved to Florida about four years ago to be near my youngest brother. There are three of us left, my brother in Florida, my brother in Maryland and myself in Georgia. Mom lived in her own home until last summer. My brother and I would talk on the phone and we were fine. He would vent about being the caregiver but there were no problems. I should say that he has shown excessive animosity towards my other brother in Maryland. I started trying to reach my caregiver brother last June and my caregiver brother stopped taking my calls and texts. In September I found out that my mother was in a facility and had been there since June. To this day, my brother will not tell me where she is or the name of the facility she is in. I can talk to her on the phone if I go through my brother but he plays games and won’t set a time so we frequently miss her calls. When we do talk to her it is only 5 minutes or so and the calls are very infrequent. My brother has POA over her so there is little we can do. My other brother and I being in other states is slowing things down. Money is limited and hiring a lawyer is expensive.
1. What are my rights? My brother in Maryland and I are very upset about this. Mom is
80 years old and may not have much time left.
2. If we do find out where mom is, do we have the right to go visit her? I have called
several facilities in Melbourne Florida where they live. I was told that if my mother
was a resident in their facility if my name was not on the visitation list, we could not
Did I mention that my mother has approximately $500,000 in cash and property.
What do you recommend? Is the law on our side? I have not seen my mother in over two years and am heart broken.
My big sister unfortunately took her own life 4years ago her husband had her cremated since that day he refuses to tell me what he has done with her ashes i am tortured by this is he allowed to do this i am her only living blood relative please if anyone knows of anything I can do get in touch as it’s hurting more & more & not sure how much more I can take of this
Number one, if you are deemed incompetent, you are still allowed to choose who and where to live…the courts must by law allow their choice to be honored. This is overlooked with judges.
Second, if you are denied due process to choose legal representation (they cannot go into nursing homes and offer services) then all of the judges determinations are VOID…not voidable just having no judicial authority at all.
Most law enforcement will ignore this and just the first page of the court “record” will prove no attorney on record…
A judge that denies due process is not authorized to make any further decisions.
Acting as a layman and can be sued…has no judicial immunity in any jurisdiction.
If a person is incapacitated, this means they need help dressing and toilet duties.
This does not mean they do not have a mind to decide where and who to live with.
Strokes happen in the brain but that doesn’t create the inability to think or to determine them incompetent…
We must all realize, if a person is not allowed calls, or visits, then they are being violated their Bill of Rights as a resident in a nursing home or they are being abused if they are in a private residence. These people need a voice and not in the courts direction. The courts are the problem and this needs immediate and widespread change.
My prayer and hope is to take probate or family issues away from the one judge one lawyer decision. This must not be for one person to decide and needs to be removed from the courts opinions. I am sure there are honest judges, and attorneys, but most are not and they are greedy and paid by some political agenda.
Understand there is not one organization or group or agency or lawyer will go against the corrupt illegal court decision. Lawyers will lose all cases in front of the judge forever more.
It is my opinion we need in every state a jury of people to do the investigation upon a request of someone to be moved from their current situations. Then a report can be submitted to a judge from various jury of people doing an investigation.
If they are in a nursing home, or private residence, they need to be immediately rescued and released to where they want to live and who they want to live with…ASK THEM if they want to return to their spouse or children or who they want for their care. Find out their advance directives being ignored who they listed.
People on the “Alliance Team” need to be granted authority and law enforcement needs to assist to rescue these individuals and keep the peace in removing the loved ones from their abuse of isolation, improper medications, no therapy to improve their lives, and causing detrimental deterioration of a once healthy individual.
Elderly do not have time on their side and this is an immediate request to rescue them.
Ex Parte all the requests, and get them back to the people that love them and they wanted to care for them.
My man is currently being held against his will, never wanted to removed and isolated and not given any therapy in 2.5 years! Stealing his ability to recover if not freed soon.
It is my opinion if a judge orders such cruel and unusual punishment because a person is incapacitated from a stroke like mine and has speech issues so nobody will take the time to listen, then that judge needs to be removed from ever practicing law ever again in any capacity. It should be viewed by their superiors, the judge is incompetent to make a healthy decision and this is a disability to remove their powers and duties.
Denying a person their choice and constitutional rights is the basic foundation of law. If a judge didn’t adhere to these principles, they are void in the name of the law and the persons rights should be immediately restored along with their voting rights. No person should lose their freedom from corruption in the courts process.
NO VETERAN SHOULD HAVE TO FIGHT FOR FREEDOM WHEN THEY FOUGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM ALREADY. NO PERSON SHOULD BE DENIED THEIR RIGHTS AND CHOICES IN AMERICA. THIS IS THE VERY DOCTRINE WE LIVE BY, FREEDOM! WHAT GIVES THE COURTS THE RIGHT TO STEAL THIS FROM ANY PERSON THEY SO CHOSE…? MAY IT BE GREED, PREJUDICE, BIAS, OR ANY OTHER UNJUST REASON, THIS IS NOT LEGAL AND SHOULD PUNISH EVERY JUDGE THAT DECIDES TO IGNORE THEIR OATH. EGO GETS IN THE WAY AND UNFORTUNATELY THE ELDERLY ARE SUFFERING.
My man is Clarence A. Leith, aka Cal his initials….
The case started with
Petition for Evaluation of Competency
(by his 2 sons Kelly J and Kelly P
(who Cal has since disowned in the court hearing)
(he was determined competent by state licensed social services)
Ex Parte (emergency need) for Guardianship and Conservator
The guardians requested closure of the case, it was not necessary, he is being cared for by me and there are no concerns and he is competent to make his own decisions and to honor his advance directives.
Clear cut but the judge denied this? Why? Unsure still to this day!
To date there has never been any other order than this original invalid one… ??
In my case the emergency guardians assigned, evaluated Cal, the hospital he was rushed to evaluated him and they released him back under my care the next day!
The guardians determined him competent and requested the court allow us to return to AZ and close the case.
We returned to AZ and had a hearing by phone, where the judge asked what my intentions were? (the judge was pissed off we returned to AZ)
I explained all the care from professionals coming to the home and we were doing therapy speech and physical (we had an awesome speech therapist) and gave the court all the specialist names. I stated improving his abilities and loving care to live independently has always been my concern. I love him and nobody seems to understand this being our age difference…but people do not understand our deep connection and genuine love and care for each other…!
In the hearing the judge covered the microphone to have ex parte communications with the other side planning their next move. Additionally, the judge admitted in the hearing that she didn’t have the required documents to meet the order she has in place and asked social services to see if she could find any provider that could get to that determination or if one is already made, but didn’t believe what she had was the necessary documentation to meet the requirements….
Later realizing what she was asking for…She determined a man incompetent without any doctor verifying this for her determination.
All this information was used against us, and 2 days later was issued a temp restraining order. This got him strapped down and kidnapped against his will, paramedics were called after the cop asked if I wanted to be arrested for still being there and served an hour ago…I told him I cannot leave him alone….so the cop called paramedics and they went in and came back out…they stated he does not want us in there…so they were at a loss what to do…I had a friend there who volunteered to stay with Cal, the cop refused, Cal was supposed to remain in the home, but the cop refused and the paramedics called the doctor in charge of them….and the doctor informed the paramedics to take him out of the home….therefore it took 5 guys to go in and force him to be strapped down and carried off…OMG! The worst day of my life Oct 13, 2016 Cal begged me to not let anyone take him from me and they would arrest me if I interfered, I cry every day for this failure on my part to protect him from this evil unjust action.
I have Cal’s wishes recorded just prior to the cop arriving to kidnap him!
I have proof of everything I state and documentation to verify what I say from the social services and from APS…
Mind you just one week prior, APS adult protective services after 18 months of investigating with 2 separate case workers, one Native American Lady and One Black Man decided in the 4 serious charges I was facing, there were NO CONCERNS and CLOSED THE CASE. yet this judge without jurisdiction and without any valid reason issued a VAWA restraining order…then collected 3.2 million Sept 2018 for VAWA.
My hearing came up with the MN judge and mind you she had no jurisdiction of any authority to do what she did…I asked her why I cannot see him? They moved him to a private residence with 11 state violations, I had none! Nobody in AZ was allowed to visit him as they may know me and this wasn’t allowed.
They had to be put on a list and the list would be then decided by the judge who would be allowed…but nobody was approved that did adhere to such ridiculous terms! I asked the judge how can anything be meaningful if where he is moved to doesn’t know him and Cal is not verbal, allow me to assist in his care if this was required for Cal for whatever reason….
Her reply was, He will want to come home with you, and I cannot have that!
Mind you this is not a valid legal reason to separate under a protection order. The judge threatened me if I look for him she will move him and then carried out her threat. No order of protection was in place according to the Mesa PD but she moved him anyway…The judge is not to fill out any order they are to just sign it….when the person is fearing for their life…Cal didn’t fear for his life until they kidnapped him out of our safe secure home…
I was going crazy and I did find him so I applied for guardianship in AZ as soon as their expired! Because they slandered me so bad the AZ court wouldn’t even look at all the evidence I have supporting my case against them.
All untruths by the court by the people in charge of his care and by the attorney assigned to investigate…she was not on his side protecting his rights…she worked for the courts, and recommended I not be allowed to be near him.
By the time court hearings in AZ were held, by the judge denying my petition for not knowing exactly his location or because I put Jr. on one form and not the other, the judge didn’t know if it was the same person, denied my petition for various petty reasons then claimed me to be frivolously filing so many times and denied my ability to file again. I was under such duress I couldn’t believe they would refuse to hear my proof and the case….but they already moved him against his will back to MN.
In the hearing he told his sons he didn’t want to return to MN!
Cal has been isolated in a 1 star nursing facility ever since not cared for and Medicare confirmed drugs do not match diagnosis and refused the claim, they have given him medication previously refused or confirmed allergic to and ignore anything and everything pertaining to his health. Cal is a 4-5 star kind of man…when it comes to taking care of himself and me and anyone he cares about…Cal is a generous man helps people whenever he can. He will give his last buck to someone if it would benefit them. He would save his change and roll the quarters and hand out to any veteran he saw on the street…! If they asked him for a cig…he would give them a roll of quarters…or what he had in his carton plus a roll of quarters…whatever he had…
Cal is in Golden Living Rehab not receiving any rehab since Dec 2016…He is not on reservation land, he is not under county authority, he is in a state facility but privately owned, and there is nothing filed at the home to keep him there.
I do not have any order of protection and yet I am still not allowed any communication or visits of any sort.
The court ignores all my filings and just acts like this is ok…
Ex Parte guardianships expire after 60 days in MN and according to the National Guardianship Act 90 days….Not renewable as this would be seen as controlling their lives. The judge offered to a criminal son, this is against the statues, and ignored the fact I was there to care for him.
22 years together and I am not allowed to be considered a person/caregiver in his life.
In the first place they were able to erase his memory with Ativan in 7 months.
I got it back by visiting him and taking him home.
But was arrested in Nebraska.
The law would not charge me with kidnapping as Cal knew who I was,
where he was going, and wanted to continue on the trip!
The hospital exam found Cal was dehydrated from them not giving him enough nourishment…in fact he cried to me stating he has no meat on his bones all night long….In AZ never was he dehydrated, and he had meat on his bones. What does that tell you? But they arrested me and spent 40 days in jail and they sent him back against his will again.
They dropped the felony charge and I requested the misdemeanor charge to go to jury trial, they refused and put a warrant out on me instead…this warrant prevented me from visiting my granny in MN on her 102nd birthday and funeral Sept 2018…I tried to negotiate and self surrender, but because I will be viewed as a flight risk, spending another 60 days is possible until a hearing will be allowed if the judge has a busy schedule…that would be 100 days on a misdemeanor!
The charge is abuse and neglect for not taking his meds with me (the ones he is allergic to) I had his normal meds with me. The meds that works for him, they didn’t know this…and refuse to drop their case with no proof or give me a jury trial…
The additional charge is for not taking his nutritional drink with me.
What do they know about nutrition when he cried for not having any meat on his bones and was dehydrated.
I can prove countless doctor reports under my care he was a well nourished man with cognitive functions and an intelligent man. His cardiologist stated he is a very lucky man to have me by his side…
but the one judge will not allow him to be with me….WHY?
HOW DO I GET HIM BACK UNDER MY CARE? THE MN DA WILL PROSECUTE BUT THEY DO NOT INVESTIGATE, SO WENT TO THE FBI TO INVESTIGATE, THEY REFUSE BECAUSE OF THE WARRANT.
NO ATTORNEY WILL TAKE THE CASE AND THEY CANNOT ASK HIM IF THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION ALLOWED.
I HAVE REPORTED TO APS 2 TIMES NOTHING HAPPENS,
I HAVE WENT TO OMBUDSMAN LOCAL REGIONAL
I SUBMITTED TO THE VETERANS ADMIN IN MINNEAPOLIS,
HE IS NOT IN A FEDERAL VETERANS FACILITY TO BE TRANSFERRED BACK
SO NOW WHAT…?
A VETERAN DENIED HIS DUE PROCESS, HAS NO HELP TO PROTECT HIS CHOICES AND RIGHTS AS A MAN WHO FOUGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM.
SUFFERS FOR NO REASON!
THE ONLY REASON GIVEN IS HE WILL WANT TO COME HOME AND I VIOLATED HER VOID ORDER TO REMAIN IN MN WITH HIM….
A JUDGE IS MORE CONCERNED WITH COMPLIANCE OF A VOID ORDER THAN THE HEALTH, AND CHOICES MADE BY A MAN OF HIS OWN FREE WILL?
THIS IS SO WRONG…
WHERE IS THE JUSTICE IN THIS?
I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND MISS HIM TERRIBLY!
Now their side will be….
I directly ignored a judicial determination and caused him detrimental harm by traveling with him in his condition…
She will say I checked him out of hospitals AMA…against medical advice
This was always at Cal’s request…social services asked him this in their determination of his being controlled by me or if he had decided on his own to check out…he confirmed it was always him and his choice….he has many sensitivities to medications, and the hospital personnel would not believe me and gave him meds on the list not to give him…one time instead of being released he was put in ICU on a nitro drip because of this…many times I would put him in the hospital for uncontrollable blood pressure and they would make him worse…and he would want to come home and I cannot blame him for self discharging…I have pictures to prove this too…I document everything…so yes I took him home and nurse him back to health….we finally found the meds that work for him and they now are refusing to give him this med…causing him detrimental harm and life threatening issues…
He has high blood pressure and had a stroke…right side paralyzed and speech affected but he could stand and pivot to the chair or car or anywhere…
So according to the judge after a stroke you cannot travel anymore?
I knew how to lift him and had all the equipment for comfort at home…
They had him in a bed that wouldn’t work with the controls…
No extra padding for his hips that hurt if laying in bed too long,
no therapy at all, to improve his mobility, no bottled water by his bed, nothing!
All her orders are void from no due process anyway
In the hearing I asked if he would be attending to say his side…with the TRO…
I asked where is his lawyer? Judge stated he has people looking out for his interests…and then ignored me
I asked what about his advance directives on file and he named me if ever incapacitated or incompetent I would be the one to care for him.
The judge replied…I trump that and lets continue with this hearing….
Now she will claim that I am not stable and need psychiatric evaluation and determine if I am competent to care for him with his medical needs…?
Excuse me….? I will not jump through any of her hoops….to delay time!
She will just be blowing smoke up someone’s ass…and I hear the judges make the same determinations….and use the same words…
meaningful, and without the approval of this court, and in the medical state they require the treatment, and more stupid lines that make no legal sense if you have any cognitive abilities to determine right from wrong…
In my opinion she needs an evaluation to determine cognitive reasoning to know when she has the authority to cause the slow death of a man and to find out if she knows the laws she has violated and if she knows she is acting criminally by ignoring all the state statues, federal laws, guidelines and Acts in place and to see if her ego is the reason for the illegal actions and causing detrimental life threatening harm to a man who wishes to die rolling down the road in the west scenery and not die lying in one place in a 1 star nursing home…
she needs to be evaluated to see why she thinks she has the right to violate everything about what she is to protect and she needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent….
But they will state I am crazy and want to be sure he will be in safe hands and she states that I abuse his meds, and think I can do a better job then professionals…
Excuse me but if you ignore his previous doctor reports confirming meds he cannot have and yes I can do better than they can…I can provide love and care for him not like any nursing home will…I love him they do not care…so yes I can provide for better care than a 1 star nursing home…The therapist even stated when coming by our home for therapy that it is the first time he saw walking bars at home…I had them for Cal to practice…he was walking and talking…yes I did provide better care and can prove it…!!
Her original intention was to keep him in MN and give me walking papers out of town and never be allowed back…thus the reason for the warrant…
but I left with him first and she admitted she is having to do this not in her normal order of things…but will have to adjust accordingly….
My man fought for our freedom and I will be his warrior for his freedom forever until I get him back under my care…I pray it is sooner than later…or she needs to be charged with reckless endangerment and premeditated murder of a man, additionally violation of his constitutional rights and his bill of rights and action without any judicial authority and without any jurisdiction. violating state laws, and the book needs to be thrown at her in Supreme Court and she needs prison time disbarred and an award of 10 million dollars for kidnapping and having co-conspirators assist in her plan! Taking the last years from a man when it was clearly stated what his desires were and ignoring them from an egotistical standpoint….and all in the name of her family who sued Cal and didn’t get the property and so it is actions for her family of lawyers and debt collectors that she is purposefully torturing him….and this is even a bigger wrong to be disbarred for…Jessica Ryan/Kramer attorney in Minneapolis… Messerli and Kramer debt collectors and lawyers… and she is acting as a tribal judge in Morton MN part time.
(a judge that holds phone hearings and doesn’t even show up herself half the time)
She is not a member of the tribe, but will not let me in on the information because I am not a member of his tribe…so I am excluded in all hearings…that concern Cal…my man of 22 years….together and never apart for more than 30 days in those 22 years…
Tribal jurisdiction is 10 mile radius not 1700 miles away in AZ…and she has no authority at all with me being a white girl…and we lived in AZ 2 years prior to her illegal TRO…. giving us home state jurisdiction in AZ…
I can prove this too…everything I say I have proof…either verbal written or documented copies for prosecution and to get Cal immediately removed from the Golden Living Rehab 1003 West Maple St Olivia MN small town no receptionist, he is behind locked doors, isolated without anyone that cares or loves him…
Need an immediate emergency injunction and have him returned to me…
and the Federal Marshalls arrest her…
Make a bold statement for all the other judges to take notice…
But I cannot file anything or attend from their shenanigans….of a warrant…
MN only body only…so I am just kicked out of the state of MN and they Renville County have no proof to go before a jury trial…
it needs to be dismissed and erased from my record.
480 334 3867
p.s. I LOVE YOU CAL WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND I WILL BE YOUR WARRIOR WHILE YOU CANNOT DEFEND YOURSELF…I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU FOREVER…PLEASE STAY STRONG FOR ME….I MISS YOU AND CRY DAILY FOR YOUR RETURN…IT HURTS ME I FAILED TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE MONSTERS IN THIS WORLD…I AM SORRY CAL…PLEASE BE STRONG…SO YOU CAN RETURN TO ME…I WILL FATTEN YOU BACK UP…AND IT IS LESS TO CARRY WHEN I GET YOU WALKING AGAIN…I STILL HAVE ALL THE EQUIPMENT INCLUDING YOUR WALKING BARS… AND WE WILL HAVE THE WALKER PATENTED WITH YOUR NAME YOU INVENTED…SEE YA SOON…OK…I PRAY! MAY GOD PROVIDE THE WAY FOR YOU TO COME BACK HOME UNDER MY CARE…ASAP
Jan 22, 6:56 PM PST
Please respond to me I am dealing with a psychopath and a blatant boastful pathological and congenital liar. He brags that he get’s things done and get’s what he wants by being an outright liar. I have an e-mail from him where he takes pride in it He along with his uncle colluded to separate the woman I have shared my life with for 32 years to separate us with no warning for his vicious unmitigated greed. I have never seen her again. The daughter who was made her legal guardian won’t tell me where she is and is lying to her that I never want to see her again. She has deliberately blocked me from any contact with her after she bought a condominium for herself. This woman along with her brother and their uncle are vicious greedy monsters
I had a seizure and my caregiver was assisting me because I had got out of the car and people thought I was getting assaulted and called the police. The police did not say why they were there and assaulted me and my caregiver and arrested us with false charges. We have video and injuries.
My father met his abuser the night she was a substitute caregiver for my stepmother….the night my stepmother died….
Less than a month later, at her Memorial, the abuser was present, comforting my father.
My father was in his late 70’s. The abuser in her late 20’s….
Within months, the abuser had moved herself in to my father’s home, unbeknownst to any of our family.
When we came to visit Dad, we were reintroduced to his “girlfriend” /abuser.
She was drunk and sobbing, telling us her Uncle had just died in Mexico, but she couldn’t go because she had a warrant out for her arrest. Two red flags!
The next day we were watching football on t.v., one of my dad’s favorite pastimes. The abuser again drunk, stormed in and turned off the t.v. When my husband told her we wanted to watch this, she went into a tirade, yelling at all of us. Another red flag.
My father paid for the abuser’s 3-month stint at rehab. She was allegedly clean, sober, and had found religion.
Our family tried to be supportive, even though our instincts told us otherwise.
Shortly after this, I received an email from Dad’s former co-worker. She asked if he was ok, because she hadn’t received any of his email jokes. After asking my dad about this, his friend received a message from the abuser, telling her to back off. Then, his Facebook account was closed..then his email account….
At that time, we did not know there were steps we could take to help our father.
In 2015, when Dad told us he was going to marry her, our hearts sank. We did ourt best to be sure this is what he really wanted, and to his legal and financial issues were protected.
Despite our pleas for reconsideration, in June, 2015, the abuser wed my father.
Our family was there to support him. Dad was extremely and uncharacteristically nervous. Even then we told him he could back out, but he didn’t. At the reception , her family and friends taunted our family. Two ladies tried to seduce my husband and my married brother. The abuser’s cousin slapped my daughter, because she didn’t want to join the bouquet-tossing ritual.
Our family exited the scene so that things didn’t escalate further.
The next day, Dad called to scold my daughter for her behavior, never acknowledging that the abuser’s family member had assaulted her.
In less than 24 hours, the lines were drawn. Lots of red flags.
Soon, we weren’t even able to contact our father by phone or text, without having to go through the abuser.
In August, 2015, Dad changed his Will. Much to the abuser’s displeasure, he still left the majority of his Estate to my brother and me.
This is when the physical abuse began (or perhaps escalated.)
In November, 2015, we received a call from Adult Protective Services, saying that our father had been physically abused by his wife/abuser. Someone had finally stepped forward to help my father.
My brother and I immediately flew to California to be with our father. We learned that the abuser had kicked him repeatedly in the ground, the abdomen, the back, the legs.. She poured coffee and salt on him, while he lay helplessly in bed.
We learned that, a week earlier, Dad had fled to my uncle’s house, saying he was scared, and that he feared for his life. He told his brother that the abuser had previously stabbed her mother, and that he feared for his life. However, the following day, Dad called my uncle, saying his abuser had done nothing wrong, and that it was his fault.
We learned that the abuser had broken several cellphones, took away his desktop and laptops.
We helped our father file a restraining order and a petition for divorce.
In December, 2015, the abuser’s criminal attorney asked that we drop the restraining order, and offered to orchestrate the divorce. Against my better judgment, my brother took Dad toyhe lawyer’s office to sign this agreement.
The abuser moved to Long Beach, so we thought our dad was safe.
We got Dad a new cellphone, with a different number; we got him a new laptop and email account.
Over the holidays, Dad visited our family in Denver and Phoenix. He was finally able to enjoy his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, without having to worry about looking over his shoulder.
However, by the end of January, the texts, emails and phone calls became less frequent. He was more elusive about his activities, and he canceled plans with his brother .
We knew the abuser was back!
The isolation became even worse than before. My brother and I kept in touch with Adult Protective Services and at times, called the Newport Beach Police Department to do welfare checks.
We knew that something would happen, but if we could thwart the abuse, we would do what we could.
We suspected the abuser was monitoring his text messages and phone calls. Dad was cautious and guarded about what he said on the phone.
My brother and I felt helpless, and did not know there was anything else we could do to help our father. It was especially frustrating because we lived so far away.
We began checking out the abuser’s Facebook, looking for clues about what she and our dad were doing. Interestingly enough, there was nothing about our Dad. Instead, her page included photos and posts about her numerous concerts, trips and travels all around the world… Vegas, Palm Springs, Fiji, Mexico, and Europe! During this time the abuser was not working, so it was apparent who was paying for her extravagant lifestyle.
In Jun, 2017, I was contacted by the Orange County Conservatorship Office.
One of our father’s financial institutions had contacted the office about suspicion of financial abuse, and that action needed to be taken.
My brother and I had to make a decision about what to do. … let the County begin the Conservatorship process, or have us apply for Conservatorship to protect our father. We did not want a stranger to do this. We willingly accepted the responsibility. And when we did, we never realized the rollercoaster ride that was ahead of us. The following 18 months would be a joyful, yet heartbreaking journey.
Our lawyer filed the petition for Temporary Conservatorship and in July, my brother and I were in charge of protecting Dad. Our first act was to kick the abuser out of Dad’s home.
I stayed with him the next four weeks. His abuser continued to call and text, filing a petition to have “Visitation.”
The Court granted this, allowing for lunch dates and and one sleepover per week, as long as the time periods were adhered to. This agreement was short- lived , as the abuser did not abide by the rules. She picked him up at a neighborhood park, and left with him.
I called the police, and as I would come to realize, were not very helpful. It didn’t seem to matter that he was under temporary Conservatorship. In the officers’ eyes, they were married and had every right to be together.
Once again we had to file a restraining order. Yet, the abuser continued to contact him. Although my father and I got along, there was always a bit if resentment about the Conservatorship. He falsely believed that we initiated this process, and that we were only doing this for money.
In the meantime, I took Dad to medical appointments and psychological exams. Was he under undue influence and stress, of the abuser, when he made his financial and personal decisions?
According to the psychologist, “Yes.”
In August, my brother arrived to take over Dad’s caretaker duties. Unfortunately, by this time his abuser had poisoned Dad’s mind so that he was barely speaking to either of us. Even in her physical absence, she was influencing his thoughts..despite the restraining order.
What my brother and I did uncover is :
That my Dad/abuser changed his will four times between Feb. and April 2017.
That there was a “death cabinet” filled with Dad’s box for his ashes, an engraved necklace and mini-urn, a guestbook, pen, and boxes of Kleenex. All of this put together by his abuser…
That there were numerous “t.v.” Life Insurance Policies purchased.
That one of Dad’s stock accounts, including joint accounts with my brother and me, had been manipulated – most of which was transferred into their joint checking account.
That there were numerous ATM withdrawals, from their joint checking account, taken out 3-4 times per week.
My brother and I showed Dad these financial abuses. He didn’t seem to understand, or Want to understand.
The Probate judge, new to the department, proceeded cautiously and ordered continuance after continuance.
This extra time allowed for the abuser to move back into Dad’s home, as my brother and I were not able to stay with our Dad. We had to go home to our jobs and our families.
The abuser hired and fired at least three attorneys to represent my father. She hired and fired at least three attorneys to represent herself, because she filed a Petition to be his Conservator!!
During this time, we were, once again, cut off from our father. We saw him during from our almost monthly Court visits, but if he even looked our way, his abuser would admonish him.
In March, we went to one of our hearings, and to our surprise, our father and his abuser did not show up. The attorney advised the judge that Dad was in the hospital. We were concerned, and asked where he was, so we could go see him. We were never told, and spent the next few hours calling all the hospitals and clinics in the OC area. We found out he had been in the e.r. with respiratory issues,, but then released. We could not find him. He was not at home.
My brother and I took our legal documents to the hospital, stating that we needed to be notified on all medical decisions.
Days later, Dad was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and malnutrition. We spoke to APS and they contacted the hospital social worker to let her know of his previous abuse. We cakked several times per day to check on Dad. We were told that his wife had been causing problems, and that she had been asked to leave. When they asked Dad if he wanted her to return, he said, “No.”
He was later taken to a rehabilitation center to regain his strength and nutritional needs.
We also contacted the caseworker there.
We soon learned that she was back and causing problems. We then received a call from Dad’s nurse. That Sunday night in April, the nurse said that Dad had checked himself out of the rehabilitation center, and that his wife/abuser, claiming to be a Hospice care nurse, put him into an Uber and she got in her car and followed it.
We told the nurse to call the police and to go to Dad’s residence.
Once again, the police did nothing.
Then…less than a month later on May 10, 2018, we got a call from the Newport Beach Police. Dad had been physically attacked by his abuser/wife. She took his phone so he couldn’t call 911. Dad was able to make it to his neighbor’s house. He called 911.
The paramedics bandaged Dad’s bloody arms and legs, where she had hit and scratched his fragile arms.
The paramedics wanted to take him to the hospital, but he refused.
Our aunt and uncle went to be with Dad. During this time, the abuser came back. She was angry they were there and told them to leave. After arguing in the bedroom for a few minutes, Dad told her to leave.
About 11:30 p.m. that night, the abuser came back again. As he was sleeping, she
struck Dad in the head with an unknown object.
The next morning, an APS caseworker came out to check on him and asked that he be taken to the hospital for his bloody head injury. During this time, she questioned him about what had happened.
Dad said that a Court investigator had come to the house to question him about the abuser’s fitness to be his Conservator. Dad was asked if she ever drank, and he truthfully answered that she did. When the investigator left, the abuser became furious with him, and starting beating him.
We soon learned that Dad had suffered a brain hematoma.
The next day he was released with Home Healthcare coming to help him with wound care, physical, occupational
and nutritional therapy.
My brother and I flew out to be with Dad. He was extremely relieved to see us.
The NBPD had issued a warrant for the abuser’s arrest. She was arrested and charged with multiple felonies, with a $250,000 bond. However, at the appearance, this was reduced to $100,000, so she made bail. The Court also issued a 2-year Order of Protection.
The Conservatorship had still not been decided, so we were unable to take Dad our of the state to live with us. So, we
hired a part-time caregiver and a counselor. He continued to get Home Healthcare Services and my daughter went to stay with him until our October October date.
We had contacted his lawyer to redo his Will. We filed a petition to annul the marriage. This is what our father wanted.
We were finally granted Conservatorship in October. Although we wouldn’t have the official paperwork for a few weeks, the judge allowed Dad to be taken out of state.
The next day, my brother and I moved Dad to Arizona. We enjoyed the trip and made precious memories. A week after he had been with me, we had to take him to the hospital. He was weak and had a UTI. The following week he went to rehab to become stronger. However, he became weaker and was unable to do anymore therapy. He was taken to Hopice and died peacefully on November 2, 2018.
Although we had filed for annulment, the correed petition wasn’t officially filed until November 1. And because Dad had moved to Arizona, his California attorney couldn’t, or wouldn’t, redo the Will before he died.
On December 19, a retiring Orange County judge was offering " fire sales" to most of the defendants on his docket. He was practically giving Holiday gifts to the defendants, whether or not justice would be served. My dad’s abuser/ wife was offered a plea of one year in County jail, with three years probation and an anger management class. She took this offer, pleading guilty to four felonies.
Last week, my brother and I were finally able to address the abuser. We gave our Impact Statements to the new judge. He was moved and told us he was bound by the retiring judge’s plea offer, although he didn’t agree with it. So she was sentenced on January 31. However, she is still walking free because she doesn’t have to report to jail until March 29th.
She has filed a property petition to receive our father’s money. We have filed a wrongful Death and Elder Abuse case.
We will continue to fight for our father.
We would appreciate any help, tips, etc.
I’m a victim of strangulation a senior citizen married 30 years divorced one year walked away with nothing the judge won’t do anything nobody will help me now I have no car I lived in and I was homeless and I need someone to take control of the situation I live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done but I have suffered for 30 years and now I’m still suffering please help me my name is Robin Abel my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. . I have another hearing Feb. 25. My car blew up and my x husband of 30 yrs. Did 3 MONTHS in jail .not for strangulation and smothering me, for breaking the pfa. I just had a stroke and I can’t take anymore. I owe my attorney 2000.00. For nothing. Please help me. Robin abel. My x now has my dog. I can’t take care of her, I have little use of my legs. She was my depression dog and I know he won’t take care of her. He’s drink 24 hours a day on vodka and has terrible anger management. He poured a box of carpet fresh all over the house the week before the strangulation and 7:00a.m.. he was drunk as can be. Three me down on floor, and told Mr to lick it up like the filthy bigger bitch I am. Now he wants me to pay him for supposeingly selling his tools.. he did a walk thru the house and took thousands of dollars, of tools and his Harley Davison and he denies all of this please view this publicly to all domestic violence agencies and anyone u want to. I was not allowed to have one cent for anything. He controlled me totally.
Hello, I am so happy to learn about your foundation. I am very interested in sharing my story. My story is old and it is a cold case. However, I viewed the documentary about Kasey Kasem’s illness . My mother had a similar situation in some ways. I see that Kasey Kasem had a Parkinson’s like syndrome that affected his mental faculties.
My mother was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma in 1992. A glioblastoma is a lethal brain tumor that manifests with a major seizure. In my mother’s case it was time bomb that lived in her end for quite a while until it erupted as a major seizure while she was driving home from work. She told me she started having “strange thoughts” and not feeling right so she pulled the car over. From what I can discern she must have gotten out and started walking around the car. During this time she suffered a major seizure on Route 87 and other drivers must have called an ambulance. when they saw her thrashing around on the ground. This was the end of life as I knew it with my mother for 24 years.
After she was taken by ambulance to the nearest emergency room facility she must have first called her boyfriend.Then he called my Grandmother ( an alcoholic for years who greatly interfered with my childhood.). I want to stress the fact that I was not called and had no idea this was going on. I continued to live in Long Island enjoying a fools paradise. I was in for a ruede awakening.
Blood tests and a cat scan were performed at the emergency room .Dots appeared on her cat scan and she was told that she could possibly have a brain tumor. She was sent to Columbia Presbyterian in Washington Heights, New York City.
I don’t think my mother wanted me to worry so she tried to hide her diagnosis from me.
Unfortunately for me, if she didn’t want me to know things it would be hard for me because I did not live with her but he did. Let me just discuss my concerns about him. I never knew him to hold a paying job during the course of their relationship.He was a kind of a house husband who was around the apartment all the time. I believe that she was supporting both of us on what was a good income from I B M, but not a great income. I resented the fact she had to support her boyfriend becausese he came from a family that made money in the insurance business and they were quite wealthy. My mother and I were by no means wealthy. She had college bilsl and was paying my rent.
Her boyfriend unfortunately, saw my absence, youth and naivety to gain a strong foothold over the situation. My grandmother was no help, she was not interested in being family to me. As a result of this I was not invited to the exploratory surgery to diagnose her condition. I started to just receive phone calls from distant family members and frankly I had not seen or dealt with these folks in years. I got a call from my “Aunt” if you want to call her that because she was not even a biological relative to me. She was married to an Uncle who I had not seen in at least five years. I was told that my mother had a malignancy on the brain and it was bad. She went on to tell me that if she did not get treatment with chemo, surgery and drugs that I could expect to have her around for three months. However, if she did get treatment then I could expect 15 months. Let’s not forget we are talking about a 44 year old with a good job at I BM and supposedly a whole life in front of her. That’s what I always thought. For the next couple of month’s mentally I lived in a fools paradise thinking everything would work out some how. While I was off franticly trying to figure out how I was going to manage without her support in my life. When I say support I mean support in every way, financial, emotional because she was really my only family. He was going behind my back changing the status of their relationship from unmarried to married. I was so naive at the time I just did not see that coming. I should have. I just got the photos from the wedding and she looks like she was absolutely drugged during the ceremony. I assume he gave her way too much of the drugs from the hospital. I read that they give benzodiazepines for glioblastoma patients and I think he gave her a pretty strong dose. I know the location of the wedding and it is a place for liberal causes that liberal people go to work on issues of passion. He must have manipulated some minister from one of the churches surrounding the place. I don’t think he allowed the city of Nyack to witness her condition when he applied for the marriage license. She could not walk very well. She could not talk very well and there is no doubt in my mind she could not even think very well. He manipulated her so called friend into being a witness. He is the one who messaged me the photos. After that he proceeded to make every important decision for her whole life while I blindly got slapped with all of them. The first decision he made that hurt me was to take her to the Galapagos Islands for 6 months. Then he took her to Alaska. Whatever visits I got with her, she did not share anything much about her life with me and stupid me didn’t ask. I can tell you that she did not behave like the spoiling, indulgent mother I always knew. No. I call her tumor mother. Tumor mother behaved in a way I did not like. Tumor mother was rejecting, strange and unloving. She was quite indifferent about seeing me and when she did she chuckled and behaved like a child. This was part of her condition. My big problem with all of this is that no one had any obligation to inform me she was terminally ill and I was dealing with a married mother, who I knew to be single. Well, this had a major impact on my legal rights. My whole family knew but I was the last to know she had been married. Truthfully they didn’t care because this was better for them,. She would not have to go to a nursing home and they would not have to lift a finger to care for her, so it benefitted them to keep hiding her from me and lying to me.
I walked around in shock and kept trying to cope by showing up for work and getting threatening phone calls from creditors regarding college loans she took out while she was “well” that she could no longer continue to pay. I got raped in a rooming house which further added to my grief. I still continued to get “invited” to see my mother. So I went. Every time I would go, I would get the impression that she did not even know I was there. Well, all the lucid time she had left he robbed me of by stowing her away while she was still somewhat lucid. When she arrived back from traveling I acted real hurt. So I am told they decided that I would be “happier” not seeing my mother because it made me anxious and irritable. No, it’s just that she decided to take whatever time she had left and not share it with me. No, he decided. Frankly there was not much point to our “visits” he took hold of her surgically cut up an zapped mind to minimize the importance of her relationship with her kid.
Here comes the big kicker. I see her for the last time on Christmas. She is so far gone, I don’t think she even knows I am there. She was allowed to die in her now husbands parents house with my grandmother taking care of her. My grandmother is registered nurse who was fired and disgraced for stealing drugs from Maryknoll. She had no residence of her own to call home and she was very cruel to me. She treated me like a stranger all of the sudden even though we had somewhat of a relationship. She forgot all about it. She must have overheard conversations about power of attorney and health care proxy, rights of disposition and so forth. I am not sure if she was drinking while she took care of my mother. I suspect he took out insurance policies on her life, and the purpose of the marriage was to make medical decisions but also to steal whatever my mother had me named as the beneficiary. I am told not to worry about this because her medical bills were so out of control his plan did not work out. He also spent too much money on the trips. He is still living on her social security and he says that his life was affected negatively by his “marriage”. I just want to add that the final phone call from this"Aunt" was to tell me that my mother died. Then she rushed off the phone with me. I hung up the phone in a haze. It just so happened that I called in sick from Mc Donalds. I wasn’t even supposed to be home that day. I called my grand mother to ask how she had died and I get this shortened response saying, well there was simply no pulse Joan. Now for the final slap in the face. I get “invited” again to what I think is a funeral. My “uncle” throws me into the back of his car and drives to Putnam Valley from White Plains. He then goes and picks up my Grandmother. My uncle asks my grand mother if she is okay and she says yeah, she has her sedatives. She does not even acknowledge the fact that I am sitting next to her and say hello to me, or anything else. We get there and I find out that she was cremated. No one told me at all beforehand, or discussed it on the way home. My suspicion is that he wanted some insurance money and he said she never smoked. Truth be told she smoked quite a bit. She even had the beginning signs of emphysema. I am not told where her ashes are and I am trying to get that now. Yes, I am trying to get that information 26 years after the fact. Her family didn’t ask her “husband” and they don’t want to discuss the matter with me. They don’t think I have a right to know this or anything else about her care, her well being, her finances, nothing. I had to fight very hard and act as a self appointed private detective in her life to get them to deal with me at all. I figure all the decisions regarding her care were fraudulent because they were made by someone who is not actually next of kin. Who was next of kin? I was. I just trusted people who lied to me and I did not know how to deal with this monkey wrench life through at me. My mother and I got very hurt.
The whole point I am trying to make here is that, there are no safeguards in place for the terminally ill. They are allowed to marry. Insurance companies don’t need to see in person who they are taking policies out. The hospital didn’t look at how long they were married or when they were married. I should have been informed about dire consequences regarding this marriage and her medical condition. I shouldn’t be learning that I am the victim of marriage fraud, medical fraud, social security fraud and a family full of immoral people Where was my right to be notified that she lost her mental faculties years before her diagnosis? Why am I finding out all of this now?
I could have had a better understanding of tumor mother. I could have been informed she wanted to be cremated. I could have had more visitation with her before her health declined to the point of near death. I feel so victimized overall by my family, that creep she bought home. I don’t want to see anyone get victimized when they are tragically informed they are going to lose a young parent. Not they way I was. It hurts. It will always hurt. I don’t feel any of the people who made major decisions about her life in her final days care about her they way I do. In fact my love and devotion to my mother was nothing more than a complication for these folks who really were takers in her life. That is my story and I definitely want it seen and read.
If you have a new person in your life that a parent has bought home. Be informed. Be a Detective. Know your legal rights. Don’t live in fools paradise like I did. Even if your parent says this person is alright, go find out for yourself. Most importantly, ask your parent, Do you intend to marry your new boyfriend or girlfriend. MY mother did not intend to marry her person. She let me know she had been taken advantage of from her hospital bed and I didn’t want to get her upset so I didn’t pursue it any further. In my case the problem had gone undetected that she was the victim of a user and a manipulator. I could not do anything about it. But if you ask for a prenup and stay in your parents life, do ask questions and make your decisions according to what your gut tells you.
Thank You for letting me share my story!
Harassed by my landlord for months and he’s been nothing but rude a changes his mind once little things that’s not going on and I’ve never had my Neighbors come to me with the complaint or the police called for any reason he always wants to come by and look at my home and come up with these issues and try and dive has told me a fiction that’s unbelievable then he doesn’t want to take my rent and I’ve done nothing wrong he is friends with my husband who has walked out on me and he walked out on our least not having to pay anything for their his obligations as well as mine but they didn’t care they wanted me to take him off the lease and he comes by and still arrest as me and they know that they gave me eviction notice and I just went to court to judge or an arm trial but not let us speak or look at our evidence and we had a lot of it to fill and we have until Monday to vacate our home that we love and we established and comfortable here can I have an illness that rumors of my head and I’m sick all the time and I just want to be called I have done nothing wrong and I didn’t have anybody listen to me or ask me my side of the story and I don’t know what to do but I have nowhere to go really honestly thought honestly believe that Justice would have been done at this trial finally the judge could see him put him in his place and if there was lost but she didn’t listen or even take our evidence at all it was like he was being a boy again and you’re being bullied and he was Prejudiced and he didn’t know anything we don’t know why I always have money for him he had no reason to do what she didn’t she ruled in his favor to speak at all I don’t know what to do I don’t have time on my side and I don’t have the street please pray for us God bless you all to thank you!!!!! PS. I was there with no lawyer but he did landlord had a lawyer I know I had faxed but she didn’t even look at them that you did
It is not I who was isolated but it was myself and my brother and sisters nieces and nephews that were isolated from my beloved uncle. He just passed. I have videos and pictures texts and emails the whole story that I am going to put together. I’ve listen to your story And this is very similar with some important differences. My uncle’s caregiver was put in place like his jailer. I have videos showing the CNA at the bidding of my mother was only interest was his money as told me by my mother. My sister who is a nurse who lived above him for 20 years was bullied by the CNA. The CNA neglected my uncle at the very least and at worst she abused him Terrible horrible things we have video and more. The CNA lived next-door moved to my uncles home the very home that I raised my children In. They evicted my sister they made up a story of assault had us arrested. Even though that was thrown out they were able to get us out. It turns out that the CNA certainly and her husband( she does not admit it herself) were selling drugs. He is in prison now waiting trial for the rape of at least two minors that we know of one being her daughter probably in my uncles home. I will be attending the court case. My poor uncle was deemed competent but in need of assistance and they took his entire life over. We were even in court we made it there I fought to get us there. My uncle spoke eloquently and wanted to be with me. We thought we won the judge said he would allow it. We all walked out my uncle cried in my arms with joy. Only to find after six months behind closed doors the judge reversed his decision I found out in the afternoon. The CNA went into action when she realized I would not be in charge and that is when she had me arrested the next afternoon She simply made up a story and we don’t know why the police brought into it but there seem to of been something else going on. She simply made up a story and we don’t know why the police got into it but there seem to of been something else going on The sheister Lawyer Who is more than happy to leave everything to the CNA I watched many examples of this. He could have persuaded the police. Too long a story here but he actually set us up to get arrested by telling us that my sister could go pick up her belongings the next day he set it all up. Like I said too long a story to put here I would like to make a documentary on it
My sister admitted my mom into a rehabilitation and nursing home and she is denying me and my other sister full visitation and medical information about my mom. My sister is also not allowing us to take my mom out for lunches or outside visitations. To make matters worse the facility is also denying us our rights, my sister does not have conservatorship but the facility (Panarama Gardens in Panarama City, Ca.) is acting like she does.
My story may possibly be one you’ve never heard. I am the 51 yr old wife of a 75 yr old husband who has dementia…we’ve only been married for 7 yrs. I have multiple sclerosis and worked as a registered nurse until MS made it so I could not work since I was 31 yrs old. I tried caring for my husband at home but I couldn’t watch him 24/7. His kids who are all adults…2 being older than me and 2 younger by 5 yrs hate me with a passion and will stop at nothing to make my life a living hell. I asked for them to help out but they did nothing. My husband and I talked to our pcp and decided that a nursing home would be what’s right for him now bc he needs more help than I could give him. His kids were against this idea too saying I married an old man so you will care for him 24/7/365. I moved him to the care center back in May. They wouldn’t drive the 2 hrs to visit him before he was placed in a nursing home and they won’t drive to see him now…until October 20 I went to use our debit card to pay for my lunch and it came up declined 3 times but I knew there was money in that account. I paid in cash and headed home to go online to see what was wrong. I seen our joint acct had a balance of $0. I seen that all the money in our joint acct had been transferred to a “new” acct with only my husband’s name. This acct is at a bank out of state. My husband does not have a driver’s license anymore so I’m wondering what is going on. I called the care home which is just blocks from our home to find out my husband’s brother took him to Missouri the state my husband lived all of his life until he married me and he moved to Kansas bc I still had minor kids when we were married. His brother took him to transfer all of our money into a new acct. My husband isn’t incompetent all the time. He can be swayed into thinking whatever the person he’s around is thinking and in our case his one daughter, Christi that I’ve always trusted and gotten along with decided she wanted her dad back in Missouri and away from me SO the bank acct was done. I went and picked my husband up to come home for his daily afternoon visit where I could ask him about what had transpired earlier in the day. He was telling me as Christi called my phone which I ignored bc my husband was telling me what was going on and why. She kept calling so I answered and she was all chipper like we were best friends. I told her what her uncle had done and she was mad just like I was and she said “I’m going to call him right now to see what he was thinking. Dad has dementia he just can’t be taking him like that. I’ll call you right back.” Her uncle calls my phone before she could have called him …he’s yelling how “the cops have been called. My brother doesn’t have dementia. You’ve caused it by overdosing him… “ I was in shock and hung up on him. Christi called back still acting mad telling me her uncle hired an attorney and “he’s coming after you! I don’t understand it bc all I want is for dad to be taken care of.” I had to let her go bc someone was knocking on my front door and it was an officer from our police department asking if Wally was here? I said “yes do you want to talk to him?” He said “I just want to inform you that we just received a call reporting that you took your husband against his will from the nursing home.” I was furious and was starting to lash out at the officer. I’m known for my passionate temper. He said “hear me out. I went to the care home and talked to the charge nurse and she said your husband signed himself out and the two of you walked out the door with you saying you’d have him back for supper just like you do almost everyday.” My husband comes into the living room and told the officer he was fine and didn’t understand why anyone would call and say such a thing about him being taken. The officer could only tell me it was a female that called it in. When I took my husband back the charge nurse told me it was one of my husband’s dtr’s who called the police department bc she had called the nursing home and told the charge nurse she had done it. So that was Saturday. I woke up Sunday wondering why my tv wasn’t working. I knew I paid my bill but I had no stations. I called Directv to finally get told that I had called yesterday asking for my service to be disconnected. I told them I had done no such thing. I explained about what happened with my husband and that his family must have called it in. They reconnected me at no charge and told me they were going to turn it into the fraud department. I had a phone call from the fraud dept within 30 min telling me a female called in saying she was me and asked to be disconnected immediately. It was figured out to be Christi AGAIN. I put a passcode on my acct so that no one but me could access my acct which was only in my name so Idk how his dtr figured this out. I decided to go online and check our joint credit cards and she had them all canceled and even changed my address to her address. When I brought my husband home for his afternoon visit I showed him everything I’d discovered and told him about the tv etc. He said “why would she do all of that? I only told them I’d think about moving. I never told them to do all of this crap she did.” He told me how they had convinced him that I was charging all kinds of things on his credit cards and how I didn’t love him. They really went above and beyond. They planned to take him out of the care home for a weekend get away…to visit friends and family but they weren’t going to return him. I kid you not this was Sunday and Monday was even worse! He called his dtr Sunday night after I had dropped him off and told her to stop everything. He didn’t like what she had done and he wanted to stay up here near his wife. He said she cried and kept trying to change his mind but he told her no! He called his brother and told him he wanted everything stopped. His brother told him “I’ll do whatever you want and if you want to stay up there with her than I’m ok with it.” So Monday comes and Wally called me and asked me to come get him before 8a bc he wanted to transfer the money back in our acct so I went and got him. The director of nursing stopped and told us there was a lady coming to meet with Wally at 10:30 so I needed to have him back…my day was about to get even better than the weekend….I had him back and she wanted to talk to us in privately together and then one at a time…the door closed and she introduced herself and said there had been several allegations made that I was abusing my husband. The allegations were horrendous. They said I would over medicate my husband when he still lived at home to the point I overdosed him and had to call the ambulance to get him and take him to the hospital where they had to “save” him. He’d get his system flushed out of these “drugs” in the few days they’d have him and they would discharge him good as new. They failed to tell the “elder abuse” people that the first time this happened their dad was to be discharged from the hospital the next morning after being at the hospital for 3 days and I got a phone call from the hospital at 6:55a telling me my husband broke out of the hospital and ran to the nursing home (ironically it’s where he lives now) and locked himself in an office and wouldn’t come out. They asked if I would come down to see if I could get him to come out. I went down but he wasn’t coming out bc he seen a gun deal going down in the hallway at the hospital and they were “selling body organs out of the back room where the nurses go!” His dr and my dad finally got him talked back into going back to the hospital where they could set up for him to be transferred to the Senior diagnostic unit in Topeka. After being there for almost 2 weeks he was diagnosed with vascular dementia. He felt great when they discharged him until freedom did him in and he had to be transferred to the hospital where a structured environment without all kinds of choices and the 1:1 care he’d do great and I’d bring him home and freedom would do him in. He also started walking away to where I wouldn’t know where he was. Another allegation was I sold my husband’s guns (he had been a gun dealer yrs ago) without his knowledge and had the auctioneer give me the check which I cashed and pocketed the money. I still don’t know what money they were talking about. Another allegation was that I drugged him up and had him sign a poa. (I found out 2 hrs later that Christi had told the administrator of the Manor that she had the poa….so which was it? Did I dope him up to sign one or was Christi the poa? Christi and me are poa for healthcare decisions….where we have to work in concert…proof we had gotten a long at some point. Wally did tell me that Christi had him sign a piece of paper in front of his brother John but he didn’t know what it was and it wasn’t notorized. We still have no idea what paper he signed…I’m just waiting to see what happens next. The allegations were three sheets that the “interrogator” couldn’t keep straight. She even asked if I loved my husband…!! I had to get credit card statements proving there were no balences on them. I asked for a copy of the allegations by emailing the “investigator” but she told me to call her which I did and she told me it was mainly the credit cards and the way the money is being spent and his possibly being overdosed was all she was looking into and she had gotten all the medical records that proved I had done nothing wrong. It took her over 30 days to mail me a letter saying all allegations were unsubstantiated. I’m happy there is somewhere to call about elder abuse and that they take it seriously but what my husband’s family did was wrong. Where do I go to report their abuse? Christi had set up his acct for social security online so she could have his check redirected into his new acct. when I called the social security office explaining everything we were told that Christi setting up that acct online without her dad physically beside her was breaking the law and we need to talk to an attorney. The only way we were able to get that acct closed was I had seen a strange address with my name and my husband’s name attached…I asked the lady if that was the address and she said “yes it was. I’m so glad you found that bc it would’ve made it a lot harder to get in to delete this acct.” Where do I go to rock her/their world? They act like they are above the law. I may not be able to do anything to them now but I pray that someday they will get what’s coming to them. They haven’t been a part of their dad’s life in over 8 yrs. They only care about if they can get something out of him like money. The only time Christi has been up to visit him is when I found some jewelry of her mom’s that I wanted to give her….she came right up. When there was a gun he wanted his 26 yr old grandson to have Christi came right up to get it for her son. I have another box of special pictures and special keepsakes their mom kept before she died that one of the daughters should have but I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times by those 3 that I don’t care that they ever get it. I’ve never done anything against them. I was there the very moment their dad had his stroke and got him to the hospital where he was treated and had no damage done. They don’t call him on his bday or on Father’s Day. They don’t show their dad any love yet he falls for the little crumbs they might drop for him believing they want things to be different but they never are!
I know there are good families that get took by caregivers but I wanted you to know my story the story of the wife/caregiver that has been abused by the family. Christi had planned to have her dad take over her apartment that her lease wasn’t up til May 2019. She didn’t want to keep paying the rent bc her and her boyfriend made up and she had moved back in with him. Her dad needs care 24/7. She didn’t care what happened to her dad as long as he could pay her $2,400 rent. The boyfriend wasn’t impressed with the way she treated her dad or me and she’s back in her apartment according to what her dad told me…the only time he gets to talk to her is if he calls her. The other “kids” punish him bc again he chose me as his wife.
I was in the kitchen where me and the woman I have shared my life with for 32 years were hugging each other. Her son who is a psychopath and a pathological and compulsive blatant liar said he was taking Sue out for breakfast in the neighborhood.
Instead what he did , with the deliberate collusion of her brother to take advantage of her dementia to deliberately separate us so he could get his greedy hands on her house and sell it for1,500,000 dollars. In order to make sure that I got next to nothing, he drafted a Claims Release against me to be sure that I could not sue him for illegal eviction and personal injury, again with deliberate collusion with that psychopath liar her son. This was deliberate and premeditated. I never saw Sue again. They deliberately broke her heart with their greed and broke my heart and stomped on it.
Please advise me on what legal recourse I could take.
I have been traumatized and heartbroken by this vicious deliberate cruelty. Her brother who did not have ownership of the house bullied me while I was in complete shock to vacate in 4 days with no offer to ship any of my belongings. Just leave and leave everything you own. and here is 6,000 dollars. Go live on the street for all I care. Just get out. he treated me like a sack of garbage! This was before he drafted the absolute declaration of hatred and contempt of that claims release that I was deliberately and blatantly lied to into signing. Not only under California Civil code was it a blatant case of inadvertent signing due to extreme duress and coercion, but it is an unconscionable contract. This was one sided and so vicious and done with knowing I was in complete shock, with no advantage to me whatsoever. My love was taken from me and told me it is a done deal, and she’s not coming back. All this was done to completely separate us forever for this family’s unbelievable sick greed. Her own son who is a psychopath pathological liar lied to his own mother to have her house sold out from under her when she didn’t know what was happening to her. They separated us by these blatant devious lies so I wouldn’t be able to be with her to give her some protection. There is elder abuse to her and extreme deliberate emotional cruelty and injury to me. I haven’t seen her since. I have been deliberately blocked from having any contact or communication with her from her daughter, who was made her legal guardian after separating us. These are unbelievably cruel, vicious, devious, greed sick people.
Our father has been married for 42 years to our step-mom and live in Nevada. There are 3 natural daughters. Our dad and step-mom adopted another daughter. Our father was 85 y/o with CHF. He had been rapidly declining when he went into the hospital for a gi bleed. He was being treated and improving. He was eating and drinking and having bowel movements though not quite normal.
The 3 biological daughters all live in other states the adopted daughter was there with the step-mom. We had agreed to home hospice. Our dad wanted to go home. The step-mom then changed to a hospice facility without our input. It was done before we realized what happened. When he got to the hospice facility he was immediately put on a cocktail of drugs including antipsychotic and morphine. He was on no pain meds while in the hospital as his pain had subsided with treatment. We tried to plead with her to get him out of there and we’ll come help. She refused. Long story short, our dad went from coherent, walking with assistance, texting, eating and bowel movements to dead in 24 hrs.
We very much appreciate your efforts to give legal rights to biological children.
Thank you for all you do!
I did caregiving for two elderly family members for two decades, all while working full-time as a law enforcement employee. The last ten years of caregiving were spent changing adult diapers and pushing wheelchairs, and for the very last five years a paid caregiver assisted in the work. Despite the fact that the two seniors were disabled, blind, in diapers, and tethered to oxygen machines, none of my many siblings assisted in the eldercare in any manner, either financially or in terms of the back-breaking labor. They did not assist in the work, even though three lived nearby. They did not even provide minimal respite care, but instead made very vocal claims that I was screening phone calls and mail, requiring “appointments” for their very rare visits, etc. These were damnable lies, and it was the manner in which my siblings thanked me for doing labor they did not want to do. The elderly family members, perceiving these things, made me their primary (but not sole) heir. They did so in the presence of a group of lawyers, bank officials, paralegals, notaries, and witnesses, and only after proving themselves mentally competent. Subsequently, I was painted by my siblings as being a villain. But in reality, I had been painted as the villain all along. All of this to say that there are grey areas in these situations, and the caregivers are sometimes very definitely NOT the villains in these stories. They are the ones who did their duty, and their reward can be libel. Let us all try to be objective in evaluating the credibility of the narratives we’re hearing. Many are the truthful recounting of tragedies. Some, it can be wagered, are not.
I am writing this for my life long friend and her mother (the abused). My friend has been a 4th grade school teacher for over 20 years. Other daughter has worked for insurance Co for 40 yrs, in management. 1 yr n 3 mos ago (Aug 2017), my Friend was DPOA of her mother’s finances and medical. There is a existing trust of 28 yrs stating friend as executor and trustee of The family trust. The mother and 2 daughters have been on the same checking account since 2002, which they’re mother paid her bills and rent out of. The mother has never once commingled her money with boyfriend/ illegal husband. My friend lives 2 blocks away from her mother and talked to her every morning on the way to work. My friend had mother and boyfriend over for Sunday dinners. My Friend had stated many times her concern for boyfriend’s health ( heart problems), 87 yr old and when mother, 84, fell twice and he couldn’t help her up. When my friends mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/Parkinson’s and 3rd stage kidney failure my friend stepped up and was going to take over her mother’s finances and medical completely ,which she had already been doing, for her mother. My friend has a signed document, by two physicians, stating mother to be incapacitated and not able to use a phone let alone making any financial or life changing decisions. When my friend told boyfriend/landlord to mother,( she paid him unclaimed rent, for 15 yrs), that she would be completely taking over the mother and daughters check book the boyfriend became furious. The next morning the boyfriend shut off her mother’s phone and took her ,across state lines, to Las Vegas and married they’re mother. There is a CA law against that. Kidnapping report made. Friend had a key 12 yrs to mother’s house. When friend found out her mother was taken she went over to her mother’s house too see if her mother had her medication with her wherever she was. The front door was barricaded. Police broke in with my friend waiting outside. When mother and , now husband, got home 6 days later, he had her mother sign 2 TRO on daughter and husband, which was later dismissed, but kept them away for 4 mos. While daughter was restrained from seeing her mother the Husband had mother sign papers for a new POA, changed beneficiaries on trust accounts, and husbands daughter, who lives 8 hrs away, petitioned for conservator of finances and medical, which were already legally in place!!. 1st court date commissioner froze both POAs, assigned A PVP ATTORNEY to represent mother, fudiciary and Fudiciary hired her an attorney. A year ago the commissioner asked the amount in family trust and then stated the courts would eat it up. For 11mos the PVP attorney did not talk with mother’s daughters or sister, only the husband, who the PVP has addressed as his client, as mother’s attorney has also! This is her mother’s attorney appointed by the court who is to be representing the mother, not the perpetrator. My Friend has gone through 3 attorneys, $95,000. In attorney fees. There are so many declarations written from lifelong friends of mother and family. The mother has been totally brainwashed and ISOLATED ,by husband and even hired caregivers, and has repeatedly been told, that her daughter’s have stolen everything from her. When I was talking to her mother Aug 2018 she didn’t remember her life long friend of 67 yrs and also thought she was talking to my mother, who was her best friend and passed. Her Mother receives $11,400. a month, which attorneys did not inform commissioner of the full amount and all money for trust is still in bank, so monies the daughters had frozen was released because the truth was not disclosed. That is over $110,000 in 10 mos and none of These departments, which are supposed to protect the mother, Dont see a motive from the illegal husband? The court had assigned supervised visits for daughters, which are now being denied by mother. These daughters are not criminals, the husband is. The daughter took boyfriend to estate sales ever Sunday and met for Tuesday tacos, took to casino many times. He had her mother’s family totally fooled. The supervising caregivers were writing false statements against daughters, also. What are the qualifications for a court appointed supervisor? I called the caregivers company and most of the caregivers don’t even have their CNAs. Why would these women sit in on everyone of our visits? I still call her mother and have recordings of her mother stating she misses her daughter’s very much and loves them very much. When I tell her she hasn’t seen her daughter’s in 4 mos, she asks me why and then yells for husband and is upset. She totally relies on everything this man tells her. If he loved her he wouldn’t keep her children from her. Her kids and family are her whole world. I asked her if she wants to see her daughter’s and then her whole demeanor changes. The husband has also stated to me, in front of the mother, that the mother doesn’t like talking to her family and friends because they have all desserted her!! The police, DA, FBI, Elder abuse Dept, CBS News, AG- EJI (which is a total Joke) have all been contacted, by my friend and me. THE LAW AND THE COURT IS DEFENDING THE PERPETRATOR (ILLEGAL HUSBAND)!!!
Today at 1:30 is court. The fudiciary is now requesting full conservatorship over mother. The commissioner has continued the request for more hours for court appointed PVP, FUDICIARY AND Her attorney. The sad part is the mother is paying for all of this!! The court is allowing the attorneys to eat up the estate. Daughters are trying to get this to go to trial so they can speak and show proof of financial, emotional and even physical abuse. During the husband’s deposition he admitted to taking money out of mother and daughters checking account, even getting a ATM Card, and signing her checks. He even contradicted himself and his lies. This man and daughters have their own family trust. The banks won’t even help the daughters with this? The daughters have plenty of proof of fraud, theft and abuse and to this day the court has not allowed any family members to speak!!!! I have not used any names because the way this is all going I’m affraid they will come after me! My friend and family are worried their mother will die thinking her daughter’s have stolen from her and that they don’t love her. The daughters don’t care if
they’re mother’s sister or lifelong friend is conservator. The daughters are devestated about the time and memories that have been taken away from family. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen and heard my friend and family cry over this nightmare!! What good is a trust, will and DPOA if the court will not even acknowledge it or let the family speak!
my husband was removed from our home by his cousin affecting his forced removal by her cousin from the sheriff department. he fell at her house and was left on the floor to spend the night. the next day he was taken without benefit of a shower change of clothes depends or his Parkinsons medication and left in her car while she changed everything legal to her and his name by taking him to her personal attorney to file for divorce and to make her his dpoa executor without oversight for her to benefit from the will she had him make for her to buy our farm and for her daughter to receive $76,000 from the will for cutting my husbands hair and WATCHING FOOTBALL GAMES WITH HIM IN THE NURSING HOME. the cousin accused myself of taking financial advantage with the cousins personal attorney being best friends with the judge. i was given 1099’s mailed to the irs by the cousin for my wages for the identical amount i was arrested for taking financial advantage. my husband was listed as a dependent adult on the complaint i was arrested for taking financial advantage yet the cousin had my dependent husband make her his dpoa, executor, and a will for her to buy our farm and her daughter to get 76,000 from the will with it documented on the complaint he was a dependent adult. i did not have the resources to take the case to trial and had no choice but to take a diversion where i pay half my wages at 100 dollars a month to the cousin because my husband is now deceased. my husband had made a will with two separate medical facilities testing him normal and not having dementia before he was forcefully removed leaving the farm to his disabled dependent daughter whom i continue to care for. the cousin placed my husband in a nursing home against his will where he was immediately given a shower because he was soaked with urine, where severe bruising was discovered from his fall the night before, skin breakdown a uti and he was very confused without his medication for his Parkinson’s. my husband and his dependent daughter and myself were isolated from ever seeing my husband again until his death. he was prevented from having a phone in his room .
Dear Kasem Cares.
I am writing on behalf of my husband Tommy Garcia, the adopted son of Father and Mother Divine, a bi-racial, childless couple of Gladwyne PA.
Father Divine, an early champion for civil rights and racial equality, was the Founder and Leader of The International Peace Mission until he passed in 1965.
Mother encouraged Tommy to learn all he could, and meet everyone he could in what they called “the outside world” . He did so, returning often to visit his Mother on their guard gated 70+ acre Estate, called “Woodmont” (A National Historic Landmark)
On a long phone call in May 2009 Mother complained to Tommy that the staff was keeping her locked in her room. The call was being monitored and the staff (handyman, cook, mechanic, etc) began to isolate Mother from Tommy denying access to her by phone, or letter.
Approx every 3 weeks calls were made by me to Philadelphia PD requesting wellness checks. Each time, I was told “If all is ok you wont hear from us”.
In Dec 2016 the PhilaPD clerk stated Gladwyne is not their district, instructing me to contact Lower Merion Township PD of Montgomery Country.
A call was placed – by me – asking for a wellness check on my Mother-in-law, however the clerk insisted Tommy had to make the request. Later that same day a wellness check phone call was placed by Tommy.
Tommy was called on or about January 4 2017 by Officer Matt Colflesh who stated Mother was fine.
On a hunch that all was not ‘fine’, Tommy contacted LMT PD via their website, and I called Ofc Colflesh to inquire if he personally had conducted the wellness check. Colflesh stated he had not, Ofc Robert Witt had.
Several messages were left over the course of a months time for Ofc Witt.
Meanwhile Tommy was contacted via email by LMT PD Ofc Frank McCormick and was assured the wellness check had been completed. March 4th we received a call from a local PA reporter offering condolences. Mother went from “Fine to Dead”
It gets crazier from there as you can well imagine.
June 2017 Tommy was appointed Administrator of Mother Divine’s Estate by the Register of Wills. With court issued documents and an attorney, we asked LMT PD to accompany us – primary reasons included knowing the artillery available at Woodmont + Woodmont handyman – Roger Klaus – who along with Mother’s caretaker, Yvette Calm, were orchestrating what was happening, and would do anything to protect their personal financially enriched lifestyles.
I managed to secure some of Mother’s doctors records from 2007 to 2015 – which reflect the doctors repeated concerns about her well being. Mother was being treated for dementia, and the care-givers were not administering medications as prescribed along with other issues that scream Elder Abuse. It was also disclosed that Mother had been referred to this doctor by another who had retired, so it was clear that Mother had not been making her decision on her own – and we learned that Klaus and Calm had orchestrated (by convincing Mother) to begin selling off many real properties – including the historic Divine Lorraine Hotel, the Divine Tracy Hotel, and dozens of other Divine properties in and around the greater Philadelphia area. Divine was, at one time, the largest landlord in Philadelphia, as well as in Harlem, and in Ulster County NY.
All properties were purchased in cash – owned free and clear – thus the tens of millions of dollars for each property sold are now controlled by Klaus/Calm and a few others (probably Leon Jeter and Elizabeth Kingdom)
Now it is David vs Goliath. The law firm, Blank Rome, was founded by an early believer/follower of Father Divine. The firm is representing them (Klaus/Calm etc. in a nasty probate case.
We hope to hear from you.
Tommy & Lori Garcia
My father Toby Corbin was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer April 2, 2010. He was coming from his home 3 hours away to be with me (Lisa Jones daughter) the day he was rushed to the hospital. I was called by my stepmother the following day to tell me over the phone the diagnosis. He refused surgery but opted for chemo therapy treatments. He loved his doctors in Lancaster Pa. He loved how he was treated while taking his chemo. He kept up with his chemo all that year. My family and I visited numerous times that year. Our last visit was 1 week before Christmas 2010. While we were there we discussed how he wanted to be cremated and would be in a vault so when my stepmother passed away his urn could be removed and she could be put in. We knew his plans. What he wanted after he was gone. We went for what we didnt realize would be our last time seeing my dad happy and healthy. My stepmother had made plans to take him to Florida for the winter. The car trip was too much for my dad. He was tired, drained. He went to his scheduled chemo treatment 2 times while in Florida. He called me and said he hated how he was treated like he was in a meat market. They had so many “older people” with treatments they didnt care at the clinic he was forced to go to. He advised that he was stopping treatments. He was of sound mind I told him I would stand behind him no matter what. Several days later I get a call from my daughter screaming that I need to call my dad right away he was having trouble breathing. My stepmother and my halfsister were at the beach he was alone and scared. He didnt want to be there he didnt want to be alone. (While they were at the beach they were posting pictures of drinks on Facebook) I called my dad and told him to call 911, he did he was admitted to a hospital in Fort Meyers Florida where he would spend his remaining days. I got to the hospital 18 hours before my dad passed away. His lungs were failing, he was on BiPap with a face shield he could not eat, drink, or talk due to not being able to breathe. I went from the airport to my dad’s side. I spent the last 18 hours of his life with him. Tending to his needs helping him take a few sips of water and telling him how much I loved him. My stepmother arrived the following afternoon in time for me to tell the nurse and hospice workers that he needed some more medication (Adivan) to calm him. He passed away 5 minutes after the shot was administered.
My father didnt want to be in Florida away from his family. The trip by car weakened him, the treatment at the chemo clinic made him ill and upset. He was going to die but had he been left in PA yes I may have had my dad at least a few more months longer.
When it came time for him to be cared for after death I did that i cleaned him up and was told to leave the room my stepmother and her daughters wanted to spend time saying good bye. The phrase was also passed around about how does it feel to be the stepchild now? I was grieving the loss of my hero, My DAD.
I was not allowed (even though I offered) to go and help make arrangements for my fathers cremation and memorial. She was in charge.
When I got back to PA. I was told that she was remaining in Florida for another 6 weeks since she had paid for the condo. The memorial service would have to wait. How can you hold off the memorial service of someone you claim to love because you want to vacation longer in Florida?
After numerous tense phone calls I was allowed to ask for a few personal belongings of my fathers. Some items I was told "You will wait till i am cold and dead before you get anything more).
My family and I went to my fathers house for the memorial service. We were to stay there but a battle with my stepmother forced us out, with threat of police being called. We left and went to a hotel. We dressed for the 2pm memorial service at 10am and sat at the local mall since we really had no where else to go.
My father who had told me the night before he died “honey you know you will be taken care of” I come to find out had removed me from the will when he got sick, I can only presume it was due to the fact that my stepmother didnt want me having anything which is fine. I never wanted money I just wanted my Dad. I also come to find out that when he got sick he was told if he wanted me to take care of him he could move 3 hours away and would be poor and not afford care. I also came to find out afterward that she had moved out of their room when he got sick, and several times he fell trying to get himself to the bathroom at night. Her idea of helping his was to get him a walker from the drugstore.
The final blow was when I found out that he was to be interred at a local memorial park and she tossed his ashes at sea. I cant even go and lay flowers or just go and sit with my dad. He is forever gone.
I heard your story on 48 hours…I feel the same as you do…I feel that my stepmother’s actions caused the death of my father and have since he died. But I as just a daughter of a regular person have no voice to make people listen. What you are doing is AMAZING! NEVER STOP! You are the only voice your Dad as left!
https://www.gofundme.com/legal-funding-for-abused-mother Please read my story of injustice in family court of Florida. Parental alienation lies and abuse of children as well as myself. If there’s anyone that can help me let the public know what is going on.. I would like to ask anyone for help to get my children back away from the domestic violence perpetrator. Thank you.
(1/2) I wrote this letter to the State Representatives in Idaho in February of 2017, they tried to be helpful, but acted as though there hands were tied on it was up to the courts. Please read the letter than the update below the on what has happened since the creation of this letter to the state reps. I cannot believe that we have absolutely no rights to see our parents and find myself completely applaud on a daily basis as the courts ignore the humanity of these situations.
Febraury 23, 2017
Respectful senators, representatives, of District 19 of Idaho. I am writing you today to ask for your help in a matter that my sister and I feel is in dire need of some Idaho congressional over sight. In recent years, our father has been expressing symptoms of dementia/Alzheimer. He is currently in a care facility in Nampa, Idaho. My sister and I have spent thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees trying to establish some kind of scenario where we can visit him regularly and his wife is opposed to such a situation. She constantly claims, that we have bad relations, that we have papers for him to sign, and that we abandoned him (all which are false accusations). About 1.5 years ago she began isolating him from us, by taking his cell phone away and even blocking us. It was so bad that I was forced to call the police and request a welfare check at one point. The officer was met at the door by a hired care taker that told the officer she had strict orders from his wife to make sure he did not communicate with his children.
One day my sister and I were served papers that said his wife was petitioning to have him deemed incompetent and that she wanted to be his conservator/guardian. It also said that he had been in such a state of condition for about 2 years at the time (May of last year (2016)is when were served). But within the few months prior to her petitioning the court she had him sign a quit claim deed for his over to her giving her sole rights. She also sold all his vehicles and signed for him. Without a court document allowing such. Seeing how she was handling the matter and the fact she was not allowing us to see him. We decided to contest her appointment. Her step father was a well to do north Idaho farmer how passed away around 2008. Since his only biological child died about 35 years ago under strange circumstances, the only heirs he had left was step children. My father’s wife and her brother. They were both in charge of his estate and about 3 years ago the brother died too of strange circumstances leaving only my father’s wives to receive his approx. 4 million estate. That situation is a little off the subject, however, it seemed to be very helpful to her when we tried to contest in court. Everyone seemed to be sheltered behind attorney’s and statements and accusations were giving to the court about things my sister and I had done/said by people whom we had never met, nor spoken.
His wife always told us that she would have a plan in place for our father and would keep us informed. But she has done nothing except liquidate him out and place in care facility as soon as she realized that the court was going to appoint her guardian. My sister and I, his grandchildren have not been able to see him on holidays for the past 2 years. Last Christmas we would of loved to have him at our Christmas gathering but she ignored our requests and we believe she traveled to Colorado. Just in recent months she has begun to let us see him once a month supervised. If we want to see him anymore than that we are charged $85 per visit. This all seems very, very wrong to me and anyone else that I discuss the matter.
She has responded to me one time (ONCE) in the last 1.5 years. She has never provided any health info or visitation requests. Not until we filed in court did see a few docs in regards to health care, but visitation she ignored when requested by anyone (my sister, myself, my father’s brother, or our attorney).
At times prior to the 1.5 years she would state constantly to me and others who knew my father how bad his condition and his quickly deteriorating health. I spent my entire senior year in high school assisting my grandfather who had Parkinson’s and dementia, helping him work, get in and out of vehicles, heavy equipment, and tasks like using restrooms etc. In recent years I also did the same for my mother’s father when his health was failing. But my father did not seem to be in near the ill health of either of my grandparents.
[He walked several miles a day, rode his bike, and would swim for about :45 minutes every other day. His memory is not as sharp as it was 20 years ago, and at our monthly visits you can tell he is a bit confused about being in a healthcare facility. But he does not use a cane or have issues swallowing as his wife tells everyone as she keeps him locked in the facility.],
So, I simply requested the name of the health care provider my father was seeing and any documents/reports that the care provider had produced. I requested this for years, and I was never given any information, not even the name of the doctor.
One time shortly after my father’s wife had filed to have my father deemed incompetent, she blocked my sister, my uncle, and I from his phone. On advice from my attorney he said I had ever right to go check on my father. I was a little uneasy about this situation. My father’s home always had an open door policy, but his wife purchased a home in a LLC for her and her children when she received her inheritance then had my dad sign a quit claim deed giving his house over to her when she knew he was not competent to sign anything. She then moved him into the new home, which none of us have been invited since they moved there in April 2015. But I needed to know what his situation was and decided to try a visit. Once I arrived, the house keeper (who had been informed by the police officer to not deny us the right to visit our father), was reluctant, but allowed me to speak with my father. My father pulled me to the front of the home and asked me why my sister and I had filed in court to be guardian/conservator and why we wanted to sale all his assets and place him a nursing home?? I was completely beside myself. Everything that we were trying to prevent was being presented to him reversed to make my sister and I look like we had some kind of a “greed” interest. This all seemed very abusive to me and I was perplexed. When I explained to my father that just was not the case and I had the court docs in my car to prove it, he requested to see them. Once I showed him the docs, he seemed to get even more confused and in dis-belief. His wife showed up shortly later verbally abused me and told me that I did not care about my father? What? I did not see any reason to have a confrontation and decided to leave. The following day my attorney received a court document saying that I showed up told my father to put his shoes on so him and could go over to Homedale(small town where my father lived and I grew up) and get his pick-up so he could give it to me? This was never said, also
that I was trying to get him to sign papers? Again a complete utter lie.
That is just the tip of the iceberg in things that I have never said, or actions that I have never done. My father was worth around 2.5 million when he married his wife. She sold off his land when her children needed to go college, or she needed to buy a few $25000 horses etc. She also signed a $450,000 prior to her inheritance against my father’s property. When I questioned her about the note many years back, she claimed she was not responsible.
So really the only money that my father had for his healthcare was his half of equity in his home. She liquidated that prior to having him deemed incompetent. She has made it clear that once his reserves from his home are depleted. That she no longer feels responsible for his health care. She also told my sister years back that she needs to have things set up to point she feels responsible so she can “move on in life”. Naturally this causes concerns with my sister and I. We would like our father to have good healthcare and not be constantly left in the dark. Never, ever in my life have I been restricted from seeing my great aunts/uncles, grandparents, nor anyone when they are in need of being seen the most in their later years. Never, ever, have I been informed that I would be charged to see anyone $85 a session (especially my own father). He always request us to visit him more often when he sees us. But at $85 a session and thousands of dollars of attorney’s fee. My sister and I cannot afford to pay his wife’s ransom. He just thinks we do not want to visit him. This just does not seem fair to us or him at this point.
Is there any Idaho law that helps elderly people in this situation? If not, I would like there to be one so this does not happen to others in the future.
That is why I felt compelled to write this letter to you and see if there are any bills that might help protect families and elderly from such situations.
I appreciate your thoughts/efforts/time trying to better our state. Please put some thought into my sister and I’s situation and help these kind of things from happening to other children/family members in the future.
Thank you for your time,
Since I wrote this letter to Idaho representatives, in February of 2017, we have been denied access to see our father for 9 months (months that have allowed a great deal of progression of his disease). We were told that we could not see him because it was “doctor’s orders”. I found this unbelievable that any doctor would order such a thing. Especially since all the experts in the field of Dementia/Alzheimer’s told us he needed familiar visitors more than ever. So my sister and I spent months trying to find out who the doctor was and naturally requested something in writing that stated he was not supposed to see family members. Once we finally found out who the doctor was and went to his office, we were told that the only person that could limit or control his visitors was his guardian. So we had no other option accepts to return to an attorney and spend thousands of more dollars to finally get a letter that reads (patient is to remain in a controlled environment with limited external disruptions). Nothing about not seeing family or anyone. Once we pushed this issue, then a new excuse was presented through attorneys (she still will not talk/communicate with anyone). The new reason was that my father had an appointed care team and they all agreed that we should not see our father. But of course, she provided no details of members of care team or contact points. So our attorney had to dig deep to find out whom this care team was and send them certified letters asking if they agreed with my father being denied visits from his children/grandchildren. Yet, again. Most of them said it was not there choice and it all fell back on the guardian. (or they simply did not respond). So we were heading to court. But now, she wanted to come to bargain. So she had her attorney speak with our attorney (that was a mistake as well). He told our attorney that we could see him with minor stipulations. We could only see him in the front foyer of the facility, we had to coordinate with his wife’s hand-picked contact at the facility. At this point, I did not want to agree to anything, because it takes so much and money and court run around to get her cornered. I did not want to let it go!! I wanted her to once more perjure herself in the court room. But being 9 months and having no idea how my father was doing, I just could not wait any longer. So we agreed in about May of this year. “Big Mistake” For about the first month the visits went ok. I was immediately told that if I wanted to see him, I should plan around lunch time because that was the only time they could remotely promise he would be in the foyer area. Then I was told to keep my visits around ;15 minutes. Well it became apparent to me that now, he has focus mainly on his eating at the lunch table, and when he is done, they want me to depart or ask him if he wants to head back to his room. And if he doesn’t want to head back to his room and opens dialect with me, they tell me it’s time to go. Over the last few months, they have been obstructing more and more. The contact point at the facility is less and less available, when call to request seeing him, she’s (the contact) is busy and will have to call me back later. Naturally she always calls back after lunch. Or I get told, it’s just not a good day, or the hospice people are giving him bath. Frustrated by all means, I tried to see him 4 times in one week and was constantly told “well he’s doing ok, he’s just declining, I finally spoke up and said “I know he is declining that why I request to visit him so often”!!
Last month I asked to see my father 10 time and on the 11 attempt, was told ok. They really don’t want me to see him more than :15 mins. once a week while he is eating(and not on weekends when it is most convenient). I have only be able to see him once this month after 7 attempts. It was just another way to muddy up the water, and make sure that his wife does not have to answer up in court.
My father signed a POA for my sister and I too make sure this did not happen. But the brilliant 3rd District of Idaho, said that he signed once for his wife after ours and it took precedence. But how can someone not competent sign a new POA and it be valid? Then judge Kotyak looked directly at us and said if this was pursued, he would make none prevailing party pay for prevailing party’s attorney’s fees.
For the thousands of thousands of dollars spent to see our father, we have maybe seen him 10 times in last 4 years. So every visit has cost my sister and I around 1800 to 2000. It is ridiculous and the attorneys do not even seem like they want to resolve the situation. Just appease it until my father’s passing. Once my father no longer, leaves his room. We will not be able to even beg for visits any longer.
Many times I cannot sleep or wake up in the middle of the night wondering how my father’s doing. I get sick to my stomach when the realization of this entire situation sets in. It is so wrong that my father is stripped of his rights. He begged me to take him out the facility so he could look at some the places he grew up at as boy. But there is nothing I can do, because he has no rights. Because, by signing that POA as a person who has been deemed incompetent he evidently surrender all his rights to a dictator who evidently has a grudge of some sort (not sure if it is the fact he wrote a will and completely wrote her out of it, and she is trying to punish him, or if she is just upset with my sister and I). But we are all suffering here thanks to the 3rd District court of Idaho.
If the states cannot find some kind of fair, balanced solution to this problem (that does not costs thousands upon thousands of dollars), then I hope that the Feds in Washington can find a solution so future families aren’t broken apart by incompetent courts.
I would like discount code to watch.
My husband has a degenerative brain disease (MSA). He was taken out of Florida 7 months ago. I don’t know who took him. He’s with a brother in Appalachia. A brother he’s only seen 3 times in 50 years, whom I’ve only met once. He has other wards isolated on his property along with my husband. They haven’t been allowed to talk to their family either. The property is mountainous, remote, fenced, hidden by a hedge. They have guns, alarms, and dogs. I’m scared to go there and have been threatened. The brother is in the VA system looking for benefits. He has canceled the health insurance I had in place. He’s already gotten his SS, and probably the missing money ($80,000 from our bank), and probably the life insurance we paid 30 years, and the brother is furious he can’t get at the rest of our assets (so far). He wants a divorce. My husband & I don’t. The brother wants control of the assets. The GAL (guardian ad litem) told the court a divorce had been started 7 months ago. It hadn’t. My husband agrees with everything they say. He can barely talk.
I can’t get law enforcement to act. Talked to FBI and police in two states and Adult Protective Services. My lawyer abandoned me. I don’t know why. She’s running for political office. Maybe that consumed her. She turned hostile after the 1st hearing where (video of court) they all seem tacitly to agree to wait for the KY guardianship law to change in 6 months when jury trial will no longer be required to determine competence and he’s resident. A three day process turns into six months. My husband is now resident of Kentucky. The judge rules from the bench, “he’s competent.” The judge does a double take, my husband is so confused in court (obviously not competent), and directs speech to brother. It was arranged that my son & I would get to speak to court on phone from Florida but we were never called. I just wanted my husband to hear my voice. Can’t speak to him or get near him for 7 months. No one can for 6 months. I know he has no phone. His message box is full 6 months. No court order, or restraining order, or guardianship. No legal reason. Just brother’s power in this mountain town. My lawyer says, “I can’t make him talk to you.” I said, what about our son? I know he wants to see him. She says, “Maybe he can come 5 minutes before court and have coffee!” He went up with old friend instead. He flew & drove 3 hours and they were told by brother, “You can’t talk about me or court.” Husband was not allowed to leave even though he had wanted to. No legal reason. He says, “brother says it is for my protection.” From what? He’s prisoner.
When he thought son might not come he cries. When brother throws him out husband tries to protest and tries to stand and hug son.
Friend and son make small talk 2 hours. Finally friend says, “Do you understand they want guardianship?” My husband says, “Yes, the judge says it’s revocable since I’m in my right mind, all I have to do it pick up a phone and cancel.” What phone? My husband is a cynical person. He’d never believe this. Friend says, “I never heard of revocable.” Brother bursts in screaming, “Weren’t you told not to talk about that?” He’s obviously eavesdropping from the main house. He says awful things about me repeatedly that are lies. My husband tries to object. He says “They did nothing wrong. They don’t have to leave.” He’s scared and then agrees with everything his brother says even though my husband knows it is a lie. He says, “Yes sir,” repeatedly. He’s not one to say yes sir. He’s called his childhood nickname. He has no identity anymore. They are thrown out. So shook up they are lost in mountains 2 hours. Friend taped this. Its legal. The eavesdropping the brother does is not legal. I send it to my lawyer and ask her 3 times can she show it to court “team.” She ignores me. Friend & son send sworn affidavits to the court (advised by Guardianship Association – not by my lawyer who says nothing except “nothing is stopping you.”)
My husband is spied on. He cannot tell anyone honestly what is going on. I see in record; the nurses who have been taking care of him complain about it. The home nursing agency tells brother it is our policy not to tape our employees. You have to stop. The brother is doing this not to monitor care, he is doing it to be certain my husband does not disclose anything to outsiders. The psychiatrist from the VA comes to the house to interview my husband. After, he goes to the main house and talks to brother (for 2 hours!). He says brother says he has heard everything they talked about on the monitor. The doctor does not appear to be distressed by this. Brother listens to everything. My husband is aware and acts accordingly.
He says things that make no sense such as he eats more at his brother’s than he did at home – but he’s lost 15 pounds since there. I told the brother early on – he needs his food cut. He cannot coordinate the movements or have strength to cut. His brother says, “He don’t need his food cut. We put it on a tray in front of him and he eats.” I asked how is he. He said, “He gets his food.” Like a dog. My friend said he shook so badly he dropped food. He asked her to pick it up saying, “brother will get mad.” They gave him a coke in a glass. He never drinks soda. He’s diabetic. He can’t hold a glass. I used a cup with a lid and big handle. He is dehydrated and cachectic. He ate well here. He says he doesn’t read because he has a cataract, He does not have a cataract. There is no reason to say this except he doesn’t want to reveal he does nothing with his mind all day. His brother is illiterate and has no books. He says he has no pain. Zero. Why would he say that? Because he is afraid of the brother. Yet when they try to measure the bedsores the nurses say it is not possible because he has so much discomfort. He also says things about me. That I told him to leave. I almost fainted when he left. I paced and didn’t sleep for ten days when I didn’t hear from him. I’m in shock, depressed, crying, calling police, FBI, and can’t get near him. He said I didn’t work. I worked full time and paid all the bills and took care of him 24/7. He says I took $700,000 of our money & put it in account where he can’t get it. I do not have that much money! I froze accounts to protect what was left on advice of the bank, lawyers, and police. His brother thinks we have that much money. His brother has told him to say these things. I have a mortgage, leaking house, taxes, insurance, hardly any social security, and had to shut down the business. He knows he took $80,000 and his brother probably has it. He says I talked about murder suicide. I don’t want him to die. I’m depressed he’s dying. I don’t want to die. I’m healthy. He knows I’ve never been near a gun in my life. I’ve been married to him since I’m 22 years old. He is brainwashed. This is how they were able to keep this in KY rather than have it moved to his home in FL. Saying he is afraid of me. We have been married 44 years!
I wrote to the VA. I don’t want them to know I can see his records (or brother will cut me off) so said I’m writing to all VA’s in the area. They can see the abuse themselves. The brother spies on everything, they already know that. They can see he has bedsores. They see that he is isolated. Unable to move. Kept in a little house away from the main house by himself. How can he not go nuts? How is this not abuse on its face? My lawyer says, “What do you want me to do? APS and police say he’s fine.” Because HE says he’s fine – and he is a prisoner and spied on every minute! What if there was a fire? What does he do all day? Its solitary confinement. I took him out every day here. He was out for hours by himself without me with other people. We went to over 150 medical appointments counting PT. He saw 9 doctors regularly, . Yet they are saying I neglected him and didn’t want him here. I took care of him like a baby by myself. He showered 7-10 times a week, plus I washed him at night. He only gets bathed 3 times a week there by nurses who come in. The brother isn’t going to do any work even though that is how he coerced him to come. Told him I’d put him in a nursing home and he’d take care of him. He has bedsores! The brother tells the VA his incontinence has gotten worse lately. To explain the bedsores. No it hasn’t. It could not get any worse. He’s had no bladder control for two years. He’s been sitting in urine for 7 months. He’s excoriated too.
Brother (and apparently my husband – who is brainwashed) wanted court guardianship. The judge tells him, “You have POA right? The wife can’t “bother” you ever again.” We’ve been married 44 years! The County Attorney says, “We could all use that.’” All the men in court have a laugh. My husband appears distressed. I later learn he’s sitting there with two bedsores.
Durable POA covers the brother for all documents he’s already changed (& going forward) such as life insurance.. Why didn’t they get court guardianship? New laws? DOJ now has oversight & jurisdiction with court appointed guardianship. No one in this town is used to scrutiny,. I am outsider protesting, the situation is so bizarre, and I’m talking about AG, FBI, new federal laws, crossing state lines, and other victims in my affidavit, and the judge doesn’t need a hot potato because they can get rid of me in so many other ways in that town. There is NO oversight now & brother can do anything he wants. Brother had signed IRS check, but refused to show me power of attorney. I know he’s had it since 1st day my husband arrived – that would be before I heard from my husband. When I did hear, he sounded like a zombie, drugged out of his mind. I’d like to see the signature. I eventually fired my lawyer. Had to get transcripts because she wouldn’t even tell me what happened in hearing. She’s running for office. She’s an “outsider” who wants to be a Kentuckian – so I think she buddied up with them. These people have lived in the region hundreds of years. They are literally all related. The creeks, mines, and cemeteries have their names. They are the sheriffs, judges, lawyers, politicians, business owners, high school principals, mine owners. The brother is illiterate but he’s always with the cousins who take care of him & he does the “dirty work” according to another victimized cousin. I called statewide looking for a new lawyer. They won’t go this far. One said because of the distance and the corruption. The Guardianship Society of KY said “There is no justice in those mountains.” A Florida lawyer said, “I’m from a small town in coal country. Don’t go there. They do anything they want in those towns. “
My husband never lived there. He spent most of his life in Florida. He was valedictorian, worked in intelligence , had a full scholarship to University , was a journalist 8 years, and had a real estate business for 30 years with me. His brother is illiterate. Worked in nursing homes and lived on disability, moving from trailer to trailer until he “inherited” a house from elderly person he cared for (cousin said he had ward sign deed to him). My husband never told me he had this brother. I learned 10 years after we were married. I met him one time in 44 years. Only talked to him several times. I always said nice things about him. His kids are educated nurses. I sent gifts and letters. I just didn’t know him. Didn’t see him for 30 years but once my husband got sick he was on the phone with him constantly. Probably daily. Influencing him. Telling him I’d put him in a nursing home if he stayed here. Especially after I took his car keys when he had an accident. That’s when he starts taking money from the bank. My husband once got off the phone with his brother and sadly said, “His electric bill is $700. He needs solar.” My house is leaking from a hurricane. When he first got there my husband yelled at me, “You were going to put me in a nursing home!” NO! I was not. He yelled, “You told police I was hallucinating!” NO! I never did. I said I thought he was depressed. The brother was telling him those things, gaslighting him. Coercing him from the start – before he left. He told him he was going to take him to the VA to get stem cell transplant which was a lie. He’s only at the VA after 7 months for benefits.
I was a nurse. I’ve been married to him since I was practically a kid. I was taking care of him by myself and working full time (mostly at home in business) and wanted to quit working. I would never abandon him. He’s told people I told him to leave. I’ve been obsessed with getting him home.
The brother had a sad childhood. The mother left when he was 3. The father said he wasn’t his. The step mother abused him. Locked him up in a room and starved him. Beat him. I think he’s doing this to my husband. I think he’s vengeful. I think he’s slow mentally (but has been taught to be cunning by cousins who know the law & money), and I think he’s sadistic. He was sent to live with aunt in KY at age 9 or 10 . Brothers didn’t see each other for 30 years. He said to me, ”He must have been ashamed of me.” “None of this would be happening if you’d been friendlier.” Another time he said, “I never meant anything to you.” I’d heard him say that about his mother before.
My husband has lost 15 pounds & has two sacral bed sores , a fungal infection, and excoriated skin. Yet he denies pain. That is a hallmark of abuse. He told my son, “He can’t take me out and ditch me, like I did.” He gets very upset, starts to cry then yell and says, “Oh man, oh man, I can’t think.” I did not ditch him! I have not been allowed to even speak to him for seven months.
Court Characters The GAL (guardian ad litem) is a friend on Facebook to niece (brother’s daughter). She is friends with 6 of his other family members and the kids are friends. The GAL was partners with the judge before he was a judge. His brother says he took care of the judges father. I asked my lawyer to find out. She said, “I’m sure he’d say. “ The doctor who evaluated him works in small rural clinic with niece (she’s ARNP, may have gotten money from husband). He has 3 malpractice lawsuits and prescribes opioids to 40% of his Medicare patients. He’s from Miami & moves to Appalachia . I object to my lawyer who says, “Yes it’s unethical but what do you want me to do?” I say get impartial doctor and she snaps I am demanding. This region of KY has the highest drug addiction in country (meth / opioids), yet it is the only region that doesn’t have arrests in the national opioid take down this January. I can point them to a doctor right here – treating my husband, but the FBI won’t even answer a phone in KY. I talked to FL FBI who said they had no federal laws. I think they have plenty! The psychologist who evaluates him is “pastoral counselor” yet he has rare brain disease & his FL neurologist said he should see neuropsychologist. She finds him not only mentally competent but physically competent (!) even though he can’t walk, talk, or do anything. I don’t know what the social worker wrote. She brought her report 6 months later to court and found he didn’t need guardian. I objected to reports not being in and told my lawyer I wanted to be prepared but she didn’t care. His new VA community care manager (outside VA care) is a man who was arrested for animal cruelty for starving 2 horses to death. The daughter (ARNP) rides with a police motorcycle club. She is friends with 17 police on Facebook, 2 with her same last name who work at the KY State Police (who threatened me). I’m sure she knows most of the social workers and nurses caring for him and made the arrangements. She had co-POA a day after he got there and was providing his medications. The police in this town are currently being sued by a civil rights firm for framing 3 different people for two different murders! They spent years in jail and the police knew in both cases who the real murderers were. The sheriff was taking drug bribes from one murderer and the police investigator’s relative helped bury one of the bodies! And these are civil trials – not criminal. These same police have threatened me.
I called KY police and Adult protective services. They said he was okay. He’s not. Adult protective services was hostile to me and said I was withholding money from my husband. My husband was only gone two weeks and had taken $14,000 from the bank in a day. My annual social security is only $9,000. The GAL said in court, “He needed it to buy clothes in his new home.” I do not think my husband convinced APS of this. He can barely talk. I think his brother did. Every conversation with his brother has been about money. The 1st call after the “zombie” call, his brother said, “This old man only came with $3,000. Now what am I supposed to do with that? You know that ain’t nothin. I can’t take care of him with that.” I said, he took a lot more than that ($80,000) – send him back! He acted like we were negotiating nursing care & I hadn’t slept in 10 days and thought my husband was kidnapped.
KY State Police (Harlan) threatened me. After my son & friend were thrown out and no one could reach my husband for weeks, we called for a wellness check. The officer told me I’d already made 3 false reports and if I called again they would call Florida police and have me charged. They would not go out again. Three of the four “false” reports were asking if anyone had seen my husband in KY yet when I thought he’d been kidnapped. He’d disappeared from Florida, is severely disabled, and no one would pick up a phone and call me and the niece (only one I could reach) denied knowing he was coming. Local police made one of those “false” reports.
My husband “disappeared” to me on February 7th, 2018. I didn’t hear a word for ten days. I paced, barely slept, and called police. The brother said he didn’t know who he was with but forget it because he was with a friend. After I learned all the money had been taken I thought someone could have robbed him and left him on the side of the road to die. It was ten days of terror. I almost passed out at the bank. The brother started the 1st day – laughed and said it was clever. If I’d been friendlier none of this would be happening. Tried to manipulate me immediately. Said my neighbors were watching me. I was in shock, can’t remember it all but it was sadistic, taunting. I was on my way to pick my husband up from an exercise class and he called to say he was going to his brother’s. I called police immediately. Whatever the brother said made police stop their tracer. They thought he was on an end of life fling. His brother is a pathological liar. My husband is in a wheelchair mostly and I kept trying to tell police that made no sense because he was so sick. Police learned someone was taking him out of his exercise class on a regular basis. I learned they were going to the bank and had taken $80,000 over the year. I almost fainted and froze accounts. Tellers did say a woman was with him. I went back to police and told them I thought this was exploitation because my husband was so sick. I still do not know where the money is and still do not know who took my husband to Kentucky. The first call I got (10 days later) my husband sounded like a zombie – drugged out of his mind. He kept repeating, “I need money for my care,” then hung up. He’d taken $14,000 that week and I knew he was with his brother by this time. It felt like extortion. I think it was. My husband is not the first person he has done this with. He has another ward now (two others I think according to my husband). A 96 year old woman. He says she has no family. Only us. I found her daughter. She lives nearby and has not been allowed to see her mother in ten years. She misses her terribly. Her own life has been ruined. She says no one sees her mother. She lived with her mother until she was 50. She has a degree in religion and education. It’s not like she’s a crackhead or something. She said the brother told her for months that if she would sign a deed and other papers she could see her mother. When she did not they committed her too (the daughter)! She was found competent but not unscathed emotionally or financially They tormented and teased her, offering her mother as a carrot then refusing her. Ten years later she can barely talk about it. She said her mother fell and broke her hip at the brother’s house. A psychologist was there and left to go to the bathroom. The mother got up and broke her hip. They said she was so upset talking about her daughter she fell. They blamed the daughter who was in another county. She hasn’t been allowed to see her in ten years. She sends cards. They come back. She keeps them. She says no one sees her mother. I asked APS to check on her but they snapped at me they can’t talk to me about it. I don’t think they did. I have told my lawyer, the court and authorities this and given her contact. She said she’d talk to the attorney general. She also said the brother got quite a lot of money and assets from her mother. He has ½ her coal mine shares (cousin got other half). I do not know this as a fact, but she told me all this. I do know her mother lives with the brother and he’d talk about her constantly, Not her, but her money. I don’t know anything about her. Never saw a picture. The one time we visited them, they showed us her room but she was not there the 3 days we were in town. I always wondered where does an 89 year old woman go? The brother told us he asked the daughter to live with him. I asked the daughter. She said, “No. He committed me. Got into my bank before I even knew I was under commitment. I don’t know how he did that “ He told me and a friend he asked me to live with him in a trailer on his property. He did not. I have only talked to him a few times in 44 years. Why would I? I have a house I had no clue my husband would leave or be taken. The daughter also said he befriends old people and gets their money. She and her mother had already been ripped off by a lawyer who got disbarred. It was the 2nd time he’d been disbarred. Ratings on Google show him as one of the best lawyers in the county. He’s deceased now.
I found another phone for another relative. He’d taken care of her mother in law. She said he didn’t care for her but hired nurses instead and milked her. She said, “You better get a lawyer if you are mixed up with him.” I asked if I came up there would he shoot me. She said, “Probably not,” which wasn’t good enough for me. I already felt terrorized by him. My husband whispered to me when he got there, “I did not change the life insurance.” But the life insurance company has called many times to ask if he changed his address. He hasn’t made a change of address. He still gets mail here. They just want that policy or for me not to see it.
My husband managed a small trust (not beneficiary). The co-trustee got a letter from a lawyer who said he was my husband’s lawyer asking for all the trust documents. I asked my husband why. He yelled, “NO! I did not call a lawyer!” They did. Fishing. I learned the lawyer was another cousin.
I keep changing my banks, passwords. Someone went to SS and asked for my information. It was sent to me instead. Someone was in my house. They were upstairs and got all kinds of financial papers. I have artwork missing. I’ve changed locks and am paranoid.
The brother would tease and laugh sadistically at me and say – “I can’t make him talk to you. I thought you two comminuted better than that.” He did the same thing to the other woman. Teased her sadistically. Kept telling her she could talk to her mother then said, it wasn’t up to him. He said, “You better find out who that woman was. You better pray on it you find out.” He knows who she was because she supposedly deposited him in Knoxville ten days later and the brother took him to KY. If a woman even really took him. Was I supposed to pray to him?
The brother told me, “Your neighbors are watching. Your friends aren’t really your friends. You know what I’m talkin about. Act like you got some sense.” This was after barely sleeping for 10 days and very creepy. He told the other woman her neighbors said she abused her mother. He gave names of neighbors who didn’t exist. He told me, “I’m going to go to court and tell them you were going to get a gun and have him shoot himself in the head.” He was trying to scare me from court, I didn’t get to talk in court anyway. We weren’t going into the town because of the police and now he’s a resident I don’t want them to serve me with a divorce up there and have jurisdiction over the few assets I have left.
I think my husband’s been coerced before he ever left. There is no legitimate reason for him not to speak to his family or friends. There is no reason another woman has been kept from her family for ten years by this brother either except for financial reasons. He should not have bedsores. He is wasting in such a cruel way. The isolation is unimaginable. I miss him so much I can’t think about anything else. I cannot get help and he’s going to die.
I need a go fund me page please help me my poor father had to think I deserted him in his time left on this earth! HELP ME PLEASE I HAVE AN PPORTUNITY TO WRITE A JUDGE THEN I WANT TO DEVOTE MY LIFE TO THIS ORG!!!
Our story is about a different kind of elder abuse: emotional and financial abuse through lies and theft. Our dad is a 92 year old decorated WWII veteran married to our mom for 71 years. In August last year we hired an agency to take my dad out a few hours a week to just give him something to do. In December he was hospitalized with the flu. He and my mom were exhausted and needed help once he was home so we hired the same agency for 24/7 care. That’s when the trouble started.
The agency sent a myriad of people over the course of the next few weeks. No one else except family members were ever in the home. My mom began noticing some of my dad’s things were missing. Over the course of a week his wedding band, a one carat diamond ring, his class ring, his Elks ring, two 18 karat Italian gold chains with medallions, a 1926 gold piece made into a money clip and his wallet all went ‘missing’.
The office manager convinced us that my mom had ‘hidden’ his things which is common in dementia patients. (According to mom’s doctor she does not have dementia.) Once we turned the house inside out looking for the missing items with no success this same office manger told us she saw my mom looking sneaky with something in her hands when she went into the garage. When mom came out of the garage the office mange said her hands were empty and mom told her she wasn’t doing anything in the garage, now concluding that our 91 year old mother was hiding our dad’s valuables in the garage! By the way, our mom about lost her mind with worry and emotional distress due to these liars.
We met with the owners and office manager and were told we have no proof that someone from their agency stole the items so we should file a police report. We filed with police and numerous other state, city and county agencies telling the same story over and over. No response from anyone. We searched pawn shops and online sites to no avail.
Then, a month later we received a phone call from the CHP telling us they found so,e of my dad’s ID on the side of a freeway on ramp, thus proving my mom didn’t ‘hide’ his wallet and therefore it was safe to assume she didn’t hide anything else. We contacted an attorney specializing in elder abuse. He wrote letters to the agencies insurance company…to make a long story shorter, they denied the claim because we had no ‘proof’.
Since that time we found out about two other instances in which this same agency hired thieves who go away with major theft. In addition, The owner was trying to swindle one of his clients out of millions of dollars which after hiring another attorney that seems to have been thwarted.
There supposedly are laws in place to protect against this kind of elder abuse and yet, nothing gets done.
Is there anyone out there who has dealt successful with this type of abuse? If so, who did you contact? What can be done to protect our aging family members?