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(1/2) I wrote this letter to the State Representatives in Idaho in February of 2017, they tried to be helpful, but acted as though there hands were tied on it was up to the courts. Please read the letter than the update below the on what has happened since the creation of this letter to the state reps. I cannot believe that we have absolutely no rights to see our parents and find myself completely applaud on a daily basis as the courts ignore the humanity of these situations.
Febraury 23, 2017
Respectful senators, representatives, of District 19 of Idaho. I am writing you today to ask for your help in a matter that my sister and I feel is in dire need of some Idaho congressional over sight. In recent years, our father has been expressing symptoms of dementia/Alzheimer. He is currently in a care facility in Nampa, Idaho. My sister and I have spent thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees trying to establish some kind of scenario where we can visit him regularly and his wife is opposed to such a situation. She constantly claims, that we have bad relations, that we have papers for him to sign, and that we abandoned him (all which are false accusations). About 1.5 years ago she began isolating him from us, by taking his cell phone away and even blocking us. It was so bad that I was forced to call the police and request a welfare check at one point. The officer was met at the door by a hired care taker that told the officer she had strict orders from his wife to make sure he did not communicate with his children.
One day my sister and I were served papers that said his wife was petitioning to have him deemed incompetent and that she wanted to be his conservator/guardian. It also said that he had been in such a state of condition for about 2 years at the time (May of last year (2016)is when were served). But within the few months prior to her petitioning the court she had him sign a quit claim deed for his over to her giving her sole rights. She also sold all his vehicles and signed for him. Without a court document allowing such. Seeing how she was handling the matter and the fact she was not allowing us to see him. We decided to contest her appointment. Her step father was a well to do north Idaho farmer how passed away around 2008. Since his only biological child died about 35 years ago under strange circumstances, the only heirs he had left was step children. My father’s wife and her brother. They were both in charge of his estate and about 3 years ago the brother died too of strange circumstances leaving only my father’s wives to receive his approx. 4 million estate. That situation is a little off the subject, however, it seemed to be very helpful to her when we tried to contest in court. Everyone seemed to be sheltered behind attorney’s and statements and accusations were giving to the court about things my sister and I had done/said by people whom we had never met, nor spoken.
His wife always told us that she would have a plan in place for our father and would keep us informed. But she has done nothing except liquidate him out and place in care facility as soon as she realized that the court was going to appoint her guardian. My sister and I, his grandchildren have not been able to see him on holidays for the past 2 years. Last Christmas we would of loved to have him at our Christmas gathering but she ignored our requests and we believe she traveled to Colorado. Just in recent months she has begun to let us see him once a month supervised. If we want to see him anymore than that we are charged $85 per visit. This all seems very, very wrong to me and anyone else that I discuss the matter.
She has responded to me one time (ONCE) in the last 1.5 years. She has never provided any health info or visitation requests. Not until we filed in court did see a few docs in regards to health care, but visitation she ignored when requested by anyone (my sister, myself, my father’s brother, or our attorney).
At times prior to the 1.5 years she would state constantly to me and others who knew my father how bad his condition and his quickly deteriorating health. I spent my entire senior year in high school assisting my grandfather who had Parkinson’s and dementia, helping him work, get in and out of vehicles, heavy equipment, and tasks like using restrooms etc. In recent years I also did the same for my mother’s father when his health was failing. But my father did not seem to be in near the ill health of either of my grandparents.
[He walked several miles a day, rode his bike, and would swim for about :45 minutes every other day. His memory is not as sharp as it was 20 years ago, and at our monthly visits you can tell he is a bit confused about being in a healthcare facility. But he does not use a cane or have issues swallowing as his wife tells everyone as she keeps him locked in the facility.],
So, I simply requested the name of the health care provider my father was seeing and any documents/reports that the care provider had produced. I requested this for years, and I was never given any information, not even the name of the doctor.
One time shortly after my father’s wife had filed to have my father deemed incompetent, she blocked my sister, my uncle, and I from his phone. On advice from my attorney he said I had ever right to go check on my father. I was a little uneasy about this situation. My father’s home always had an open door policy, but his wife purchased a home in a LLC for her and her children when she received her inheritance then had my dad sign a quit claim deed giving his house over to her when she knew he was not competent to sign anything. She then moved him into the new home, which none of us have been invited since they moved there in April 2015. But I needed to know what his situation was and decided to try a visit. Once I arrived, the house keeper (who had been informed by the police officer to not deny us the right to visit our father), was reluctant, but allowed me to speak with my father. My father pulled me to the front of the home and asked me why my sister and I had filed in court to be guardian/conservator and why we wanted to sale all his assets and place him a nursing home?? I was completely beside myself. Everything that we were trying to prevent was being presented to him reversed to make my sister and I look like we had some kind of a “greed” interest. This all seemed very abusive to me and I was perplexed. When I explained to my father that just was not the case and I had the court docs in my car to prove it, he requested to see them. Once I showed him the docs, he seemed to get even more confused and in dis-belief. His wife showed up shortly later verbally abused me and told me that I did not care about my father? What? I did not see any reason to have a confrontation and decided to leave. The following day my attorney received a court document saying that I showed up told my father to put his shoes on so him and could go over to Homedale(small town where my father lived and I grew up) and get his pick-up so he could give it to me? This was never said, also
that I was trying to get him to sign papers? Again a complete utter lie.
That is just the tip of the iceberg in things that I have never said, or actions that I have never done. My father was worth around 2.5 million when he married his wife. She sold off his land when her children needed to go college, or she needed to buy a few $25000 horses etc. She also signed a $450,000 prior to her inheritance against my father’s property. When I questioned her about the note many years back, she claimed she was not responsible.
So really the only money that my father had for his healthcare was his half of equity in his home. She liquidated that prior to having him deemed incompetent. She has made it clear that once his reserves from his home are depleted. That she no longer feels responsible for his health care. She also told my sister years back that she needs to have things set up to point she feels responsible so she can “move on in life”. Naturally this causes concerns with my sister and I. We would like our father to have good healthcare and not be constantly left in the dark. Never, ever in my life have I been restricted from seeing my great aunts/uncles, grandparents, nor anyone when they are in need of being seen the most in their later years. Never, ever, have I been informed that I would be charged to see anyone $85 a session (especially my own father). He always request us to visit him more often when he sees us. But at $85 a session and thousands of dollars of attorney’s fee. My sister and I cannot afford to pay his wife’s ransom. He just thinks we do not want to visit him. This just does not seem fair to us or him at this point.
Is there any Idaho law that helps elderly people in this situation? If not, I would like there to be one so this does not happen to others in the future.
That is why I felt compelled to write this letter to you and see if there are any bills that might help protect families and elderly from such situations.
I appreciate your thoughts/efforts/time trying to better our state. Please put some thought into my sister and I’s situation and help these kind of things from happening to other children/family members in the future.
Thank you for your time,
Since I wrote this letter to Idaho representatives, in February of 2017, we have been denied access to see our father for 9 months (months that have allowed a great deal of progression of his disease). We were told that we could not see him because it was “doctor’s orders”. I found this unbelievable that any doctor would order such a thing. Especially since all the experts in the field of Dementia/Alzheimer’s told us he needed familiar visitors more than ever. So my sister and I spent months trying to find out who the doctor was and naturally requested something in writing that stated he was not supposed to see family members. Once we finally found out who the doctor was and went to his office, we were told that the only person that could limit or control his visitors was his guardian. So we had no other option accepts to return to an attorney and spend thousands of more dollars to finally get a letter that reads (patient is to remain in a controlled environment with limited external disruptions). Nothing about not seeing family or anyone. Once we pushed this issue, then a new excuse was presented through attorneys (she still will not talk/communicate with anyone). The new reason was that my father had an appointed care team and they all agreed that we should not see our father. But of course, she provided no details of members of care team or contact points. So our attorney had to dig deep to find out whom this care team was and send them certified letters asking if they agreed with my father being denied visits from his children/grandchildren. Yet, again. Most of them said it was not there choice and it all fell back on the guardian. (or they simply did not respond). So we were heading to court. But now, she wanted to come to bargain. So she had her attorney speak with our attorney (that was a mistake as well). He told our attorney that we could see him with minor stipulations. We could only see him in the front foyer of the facility, we had to coordinate with his wife’s hand-picked contact at the facility. At this point, I did not want to agree to anything, because it takes so much and money and court run around to get her cornered. I did not want to let it go!! I wanted her to once more perjure herself in the court room. But being 9 months and having no idea how my father was doing, I just could not wait any longer. So we agreed in about May of this year. “Big Mistake” For about the first month the visits went ok. I was immediately told that if I wanted to see him, I should plan around lunch time because that was the only time they could remotely promise he would be in the foyer area. Then I was told to keep my visits around ;15 minutes. Well it became apparent to me that now, he has focus mainly on his eating at the lunch table, and when he is done, they want me to depart or ask him if he wants to head back to his room. And if he doesn’t want to head back to his room and opens dialect with me, they tell me it’s time to go. Over the last few months, they have been obstructing more and more. The contact point at the facility is less and less available, when call to request seeing him, she’s (the contact) is busy and will have to call me back later. Naturally she always calls back after lunch. Or I get told, it’s just not a good day, or the hospice people are giving him bath. Frustrated by all means, I tried to see him 4 times in one week and was constantly told “well he’s doing ok, he’s just declining, I finally spoke up and said “I know he is declining that why I request to visit him so often”!!
Last month I asked to see my father 10 time and on the 11 attempt, was told ok. They really don’t want me to see him more than :15 mins. once a week while he is eating(and not on weekends when it is most convenient). I have only be able to see him once this month after 7 attempts. It was just another way to muddy up the water, and make sure that his wife does not have to answer up in court.
My father signed a POA for my sister and I too make sure this did not happen. But the brilliant 3rd District of Idaho, said that he signed once for his wife after ours and it took precedence. But how can someone not competent sign a new POA and it be valid? Then judge Kotyak looked directly at us and said if this was pursued, he would make none prevailing party pay for prevailing party’s attorney’s fees.
For the thousands of thousands of dollars spent to see our father, we have maybe seen him 10 times in last 4 years. So every visit has cost my sister and I around 1800 to 2000. It is ridiculous and the attorneys do not even seem like they want to resolve the situation. Just appease it until my father’s passing. Once my father no longer, leaves his room. We will not be able to even beg for visits any longer.
Many times I cannot sleep or wake up in the middle of the night wondering how my father’s doing. I get sick to my stomach when the realization of this entire situation sets in. It is so wrong that my father is stripped of his rights. He begged me to take him out the facility so he could look at some the places he grew up at as boy. But there is nothing I can do, because he has no rights. Because, by signing that POA as a person who has been deemed incompetent he evidently surrender all his rights to a dictator who evidently has a grudge of some sort (not sure if it is the fact he wrote a will and completely wrote her out of it, and she is trying to punish him, or if she is just upset with my sister and I). But we are all suffering here thanks to the 3rd District court of Idaho.
If the states cannot find some kind of fair, balanced solution to this problem (that does not costs thousands upon thousands of dollars), then I hope that the Feds in Washington can find a solution so future families aren’t broken apart by incompetent courts.
I would like discount code to watch.
My husband has a degenerative brain disease (MSA). He was taken out of Florida 7 months ago. I don’t know who took him. He’s with a brother in Appalachia. A brother he’s only seen 3 times in 50 years, whom I’ve only met once. He has other wards isolated on his property along with my husband. They haven’t been allowed to talk to their family either. The property is mountainous, remote, fenced, hidden by a hedge. They have guns, alarms, and dogs. I’m scared to go there and have been threatened. The brother is in the VA system looking for benefits. He has canceled the health insurance I had in place. He’s already gotten his SS, and probably the missing money ($80,000 from our bank), and probably the life insurance we paid 30 years, and the brother is furious he can’t get at the rest of our assets (so far). He wants a divorce. My husband & I don’t. The brother wants control of the assets. The GAL (guardian ad litem) told the court a divorce had been started 7 months ago. It hadn’t. My husband agrees with everything they say. He can barely talk.
I can’t get law enforcement to act. Talked to FBI and police in two states and Adult Protective Services. My lawyer abandoned me. I don’t know why. She’s running for political office. Maybe that consumed her. She turned hostile after the 1st hearing where (video of court) they all seem tacitly to agree to wait for the KY guardianship law to change in 6 months when jury trial will no longer be required to determine competence and he’s resident. A three day process turns into six months. My husband is now resident of Kentucky. The judge rules from the bench, “he’s competent.” The judge does a double take, my husband is so confused in court (obviously not competent), and directs speech to brother. It was arranged that my son & I would get to speak to court on phone from Florida but we were never called. I just wanted my husband to hear my voice. Can’t speak to him or get near him for 7 months. No one can for 6 months. I know he has no phone. His message box is full 6 months. No court order, or restraining order, or guardianship. No legal reason. Just brother’s power in this mountain town. My lawyer says, “I can’t make him talk to you.” I said, what about our son? I know he wants to see him. She says, “Maybe he can come 5 minutes before court and have coffee!” He went up with old friend instead. He flew & drove 3 hours and they were told by brother, “You can’t talk about me or court.” Husband was not allowed to leave even though he had wanted to. No legal reason. He says, “brother says it is for my protection.” From what? He’s prisoner.
When he thought son might not come he cries. When brother throws him out husband tries to protest and tries to stand and hug son.
Friend and son make small talk 2 hours. Finally friend says, “Do you understand they want guardianship?” My husband says, “Yes, the judge says it’s revocable since I’m in my right mind, all I have to do it pick up a phone and cancel.” What phone? My husband is a cynical person. He’d never believe this. Friend says, “I never heard of revocable.” Brother bursts in screaming, “Weren’t you told not to talk about that?” He’s obviously eavesdropping from the main house. He says awful things about me repeatedly that are lies. My husband tries to object. He says “They did nothing wrong. They don’t have to leave.” He’s scared and then agrees with everything his brother says even though my husband knows it is a lie. He says, “Yes sir,” repeatedly. He’s not one to say yes sir. He’s called his childhood nickname. He has no identity anymore. They are thrown out. So shook up they are lost in mountains 2 hours. Friend taped this. Its legal. The eavesdropping the brother does is not legal. I send it to my lawyer and ask her 3 times can she show it to court “team.” She ignores me. Friend & son send sworn affidavits to the court (advised by Guardianship Association – not by my lawyer who says nothing except “nothing is stopping you.”)
My husband is spied on. He cannot tell anyone honestly what is going on. I see in record; the nurses who have been taking care of him complain about it. The home nursing agency tells brother it is our policy not to tape our employees. You have to stop. The brother is doing this not to monitor care, he is doing it to be certain my husband does not disclose anything to outsiders. The psychiatrist from the VA comes to the house to interview my husband. After, he goes to the main house and talks to brother (for 2 hours!). He says brother says he has heard everything they talked about on the monitor. The doctor does not appear to be distressed by this. Brother listens to everything. My husband is aware and acts accordingly.
He says things that make no sense such as he eats more at his brother’s than he did at home – but he’s lost 15 pounds since there. I told the brother early on – he needs his food cut. He cannot coordinate the movements or have strength to cut. His brother says, “He don’t need his food cut. We put it on a tray in front of him and he eats.” I asked how is he. He said, “He gets his food.” Like a dog. My friend said he shook so badly he dropped food. He asked her to pick it up saying, “brother will get mad.” They gave him a coke in a glass. He never drinks soda. He’s diabetic. He can’t hold a glass. I used a cup with a lid and big handle. He is dehydrated and cachectic. He ate well here. He says he doesn’t read because he has a cataract, He does not have a cataract. There is no reason to say this except he doesn’t want to reveal he does nothing with his mind all day. His brother is illiterate and has no books. He says he has no pain. Zero. Why would he say that? Because he is afraid of the brother. Yet when they try to measure the bedsores the nurses say it is not possible because he has so much discomfort. He also says things about me. That I told him to leave. I almost fainted when he left. I paced and didn’t sleep for ten days when I didn’t hear from him. I’m in shock, depressed, crying, calling police, FBI, and can’t get near him. He said I didn’t work. I worked full time and paid all the bills and took care of him 24/7. He says I took $700,000 of our money & put it in account where he can’t get it. I do not have that much money! I froze accounts to protect what was left on advice of the bank, lawyers, and police. His brother thinks we have that much money. His brother has told him to say these things. I have a mortgage, leaking house, taxes, insurance, hardly any social security, and had to shut down the business. He knows he took $80,000 and his brother probably has it. He says I talked about murder suicide. I don’t want him to die. I’m depressed he’s dying. I don’t want to die. I’m healthy. He knows I’ve never been near a gun in my life. I’ve been married to him since I’m 22 years old. He is brainwashed. This is how they were able to keep this in KY rather than have it moved to his home in FL. Saying he is afraid of me. We have been married 44 years!
I wrote to the VA. I don’t want them to know I can see his records (or brother will cut me off) so said I’m writing to all VA’s in the area. They can see the abuse themselves. The brother spies on everything, they already know that. They can see he has bedsores. They see that he is isolated. Unable to move. Kept in a little house away from the main house by himself. How can he not go nuts? How is this not abuse on its face? My lawyer says, “What do you want me to do? APS and police say he’s fine.” Because HE says he’s fine – and he is a prisoner and spied on every minute! What if there was a fire? What does he do all day? Its solitary confinement. I took him out every day here. He was out for hours by himself without me with other people. We went to over 150 medical appointments counting PT. He saw 9 doctors regularly, . Yet they are saying I neglected him and didn’t want him here. I took care of him like a baby by myself. He showered 7-10 times a week, plus I washed him at night. He only gets bathed 3 times a week there by nurses who come in. The brother isn’t going to do any work even though that is how he coerced him to come. Told him I’d put him in a nursing home and he’d take care of him. He has bedsores! The brother tells the VA his incontinence has gotten worse lately. To explain the bedsores. No it hasn’t. It could not get any worse. He’s had no bladder control for two years. He’s been sitting in urine for 7 months. He’s excoriated too.
Brother (and apparently my husband – who is brainwashed) wanted court guardianship. The judge tells him, “You have POA right? The wife can’t “bother” you ever again.” We’ve been married 44 years! The County Attorney says, “We could all use that.’” All the men in court have a laugh. My husband appears distressed. I later learn he’s sitting there with two bedsores.
Durable POA covers the brother for all documents he’s already changed (& going forward) such as life insurance.. Why didn’t they get court guardianship? New laws? DOJ now has oversight & jurisdiction with court appointed guardianship. No one in this town is used to scrutiny,. I am outsider protesting, the situation is so bizarre, and I’m talking about AG, FBI, new federal laws, crossing state lines, and other victims in my affidavit, and the judge doesn’t need a hot potato because they can get rid of me in so many other ways in that town. There is NO oversight now & brother can do anything he wants. Brother had signed IRS check, but refused to show me power of attorney. I know he’s had it since 1st day my husband arrived – that would be before I heard from my husband. When I did hear, he sounded like a zombie, drugged out of his mind. I’d like to see the signature. I eventually fired my lawyer. Had to get transcripts because she wouldn’t even tell me what happened in hearing. She’s running for office. She’s an “outsider” who wants to be a Kentuckian – so I think she buddied up with them. These people have lived in the region hundreds of years. They are literally all related. The creeks, mines, and cemeteries have their names. They are the sheriffs, judges, lawyers, politicians, business owners, high school principals, mine owners. The brother is illiterate but he’s always with the cousins who take care of him & he does the “dirty work” according to another victimized cousin. I called statewide looking for a new lawyer. They won’t go this far. One said because of the distance and the corruption. The Guardianship Society of KY said “There is no justice in those mountains.” A Florida lawyer said, “I’m from a small town in coal country. Don’t go there. They do anything they want in those towns. “
My husband never lived there. He spent most of his life in Florida. He was valedictorian, worked in intelligence , had a full scholarship to University , was a journalist 8 years, and had a real estate business for 30 years with me. His brother is illiterate. Worked in nursing homes and lived on disability, moving from trailer to trailer until he “inherited” a house from elderly person he cared for (cousin said he had ward sign deed to him). My husband never told me he had this brother. I learned 10 years after we were married. I met him one time in 44 years. Only talked to him several times. I always said nice things about him. His kids are educated nurses. I sent gifts and letters. I just didn’t know him. Didn’t see him for 30 years but once my husband got sick he was on the phone with him constantly. Probably daily. Influencing him. Telling him I’d put him in a nursing home if he stayed here. Especially after I took his car keys when he had an accident. That’s when he starts taking money from the bank. My husband once got off the phone with his brother and sadly said, “His electric bill is $700. He needs solar.” My house is leaking from a hurricane. When he first got there my husband yelled at me, “You were going to put me in a nursing home!” NO! I was not. He yelled, “You told police I was hallucinating!” NO! I never did. I said I thought he was depressed. The brother was telling him those things, gaslighting him. Coercing him from the start – before he left. He told him he was going to take him to the VA to get stem cell transplant which was a lie. He’s only at the VA after 7 months for benefits.
I was a nurse. I’ve been married to him since I was practically a kid. I was taking care of him by myself and working full time (mostly at home in business) and wanted to quit working. I would never abandon him. He’s told people I told him to leave. I’ve been obsessed with getting him home.
The brother had a sad childhood. The mother left when he was 3. The father said he wasn’t his. The step mother abused him. Locked him up in a room and starved him. Beat him. I think he’s doing this to my husband. I think he’s vengeful. I think he’s slow mentally (but has been taught to be cunning by cousins who know the law & money), and I think he’s sadistic. He was sent to live with aunt in KY at age 9 or 10 . Brothers didn’t see each other for 30 years. He said to me, ”He must have been ashamed of me.” “None of this would be happening if you’d been friendlier.” Another time he said, “I never meant anything to you.” I’d heard him say that about his mother before.
My husband has lost 15 pounds & has two sacral bed sores , a fungal infection, and excoriated skin. Yet he denies pain. That is a hallmark of abuse. He told my son, “He can’t take me out and ditch me, like I did.” He gets very upset, starts to cry then yell and says, “Oh man, oh man, I can’t think.” I did not ditch him! I have not been allowed to even speak to him for seven months.
Court Characters The GAL (guardian ad litem) is a friend on Facebook to niece (brother’s daughter). She is friends with 6 of his other family members and the kids are friends. The GAL was partners with the judge before he was a judge. His brother says he took care of the judges father. I asked my lawyer to find out. She said, “I’m sure he’d say. “ The doctor who evaluated him works in small rural clinic with niece (she’s ARNP, may have gotten money from husband). He has 3 malpractice lawsuits and prescribes opioids to 40% of his Medicare patients. He’s from Miami & moves to Appalachia . I object to my lawyer who says, “Yes it’s unethical but what do you want me to do?” I say get impartial doctor and she snaps I am demanding. This region of KY has the highest drug addiction in country (meth / opioids), yet it is the only region that doesn’t have arrests in the national opioid take down this January. I can point them to a doctor right here – treating my husband, but the FBI won’t even answer a phone in KY. I talked to FL FBI who said they had no federal laws. I think they have plenty! The psychologist who evaluates him is “pastoral counselor” yet he has rare brain disease & his FL neurologist said he should see neuropsychologist. She finds him not only mentally competent but physically competent (!) even though he can’t walk, talk, or do anything. I don’t know what the social worker wrote. She brought her report 6 months later to court and found he didn’t need guardian. I objected to reports not being in and told my lawyer I wanted to be prepared but she didn’t care. His new VA community care manager (outside VA care) is a man who was arrested for animal cruelty for starving 2 horses to death. The daughter (ARNP) rides with a police motorcycle club. She is friends with 17 police on Facebook, 2 with her same last name who work at the KY State Police (who threatened me). I’m sure she knows most of the social workers and nurses caring for him and made the arrangements. She had co-POA a day after he got there and was providing his medications. The police in this town are currently being sued by a civil rights firm for framing 3 different people for two different murders! They spent years in jail and the police knew in both cases who the real murderers were. The sheriff was taking drug bribes from one murderer and the police investigator’s relative helped bury one of the bodies! And these are civil trials – not criminal. These same police have threatened me.
I called KY police and Adult protective services. They said he was okay. He’s not. Adult protective services was hostile to me and said I was withholding money from my husband. My husband was only gone two weeks and had taken $14,000 from the bank in a day. My annual social security is only $9,000. The GAL said in court, “He needed it to buy clothes in his new home.” I do not think my husband convinced APS of this. He can barely talk. I think his brother did. Every conversation with his brother has been about money. The 1st call after the “zombie” call, his brother said, “This old man only came with $3,000. Now what am I supposed to do with that? You know that ain’t nothin. I can’t take care of him with that.” I said, he took a lot more than that ($80,000) – send him back! He acted like we were negotiating nursing care & I hadn’t slept in 10 days and thought my husband was kidnapped.
KY State Police (Harlan) threatened me. After my son & friend were thrown out and no one could reach my husband for weeks, we called for a wellness check. The officer told me I’d already made 3 false reports and if I called again they would call Florida police and have me charged. They would not go out again. Three of the four “false” reports were asking if anyone had seen my husband in KY yet when I thought he’d been kidnapped. He’d disappeared from Florida, is severely disabled, and no one would pick up a phone and call me and the niece (only one I could reach) denied knowing he was coming. Local police made one of those “false” reports.
My husband “disappeared” to me on February 7th, 2018. I didn’t hear a word for ten days. I paced, barely slept, and called police. The brother said he didn’t know who he was with but forget it because he was with a friend. After I learned all the money had been taken I thought someone could have robbed him and left him on the side of the road to die. It was ten days of terror. I almost passed out at the bank. The brother started the 1st day – laughed and said it was clever. If I’d been friendlier none of this would be happening. Tried to manipulate me immediately. Said my neighbors were watching me. I was in shock, can’t remember it all but it was sadistic, taunting. I was on my way to pick my husband up from an exercise class and he called to say he was going to his brother’s. I called police immediately. Whatever the brother said made police stop their tracer. They thought he was on an end of life fling. His brother is a pathological liar. My husband is in a wheelchair mostly and I kept trying to tell police that made no sense because he was so sick. Police learned someone was taking him out of his exercise class on a regular basis. I learned they were going to the bank and had taken $80,000 over the year. I almost fainted and froze accounts. Tellers did say a woman was with him. I went back to police and told them I thought this was exploitation because my husband was so sick. I still do not know where the money is and still do not know who took my husband to Kentucky. The first call I got (10 days later) my husband sounded like a zombie – drugged out of his mind. He kept repeating, “I need money for my care,” then hung up. He’d taken $14,000 that week and I knew he was with his brother by this time. It felt like extortion. I think it was. My husband is not the first person he has done this with. He has another ward now (two others I think according to my husband). A 96 year old woman. He says she has no family. Only us. I found her daughter. She lives nearby and has not been allowed to see her mother in ten years. She misses her terribly. Her own life has been ruined. She says no one sees her mother. She lived with her mother until she was 50. She has a degree in religion and education. It’s not like she’s a crackhead or something. She said the brother told her for months that if she would sign a deed and other papers she could see her mother. When she did not they committed her too (the daughter)! She was found competent but not unscathed emotionally or financially They tormented and teased her, offering her mother as a carrot then refusing her. Ten years later she can barely talk about it. She said her mother fell and broke her hip at the brother’s house. A psychologist was there and left to go to the bathroom. The mother got up and broke her hip. They said she was so upset talking about her daughter she fell. They blamed the daughter who was in another county. She hasn’t been allowed to see her in ten years. She sends cards. They come back. She keeps them. She says no one sees her mother. I asked APS to check on her but they snapped at me they can’t talk to me about it. I don’t think they did. I have told my lawyer, the court and authorities this and given her contact. She said she’d talk to the attorney general. She also said the brother got quite a lot of money and assets from her mother. He has ½ her coal mine shares (cousin got other half). I do not know this as a fact, but she told me all this. I do know her mother lives with the brother and he’d talk about her constantly, Not her, but her money. I don’t know anything about her. Never saw a picture. The one time we visited them, they showed us her room but she was not there the 3 days we were in town. I always wondered where does an 89 year old woman go? The brother told us he asked the daughter to live with him. I asked the daughter. She said, “No. He committed me. Got into my bank before I even knew I was under commitment. I don’t know how he did that “ He told me and a friend he asked me to live with him in a trailer on his property. He did not. I have only talked to him a few times in 44 years. Why would I? I have a house I had no clue my husband would leave or be taken. The daughter also said he befriends old people and gets their money. She and her mother had already been ripped off by a lawyer who got disbarred. It was the 2nd time he’d been disbarred. Ratings on Google show him as one of the best lawyers in the county. He’s deceased now.
I found another phone for another relative. He’d taken care of her mother in law. She said he didn’t care for her but hired nurses instead and milked her. She said, “You better get a lawyer if you are mixed up with him.” I asked if I came up there would he shoot me. She said, “Probably not,” which wasn’t good enough for me. I already felt terrorized by him. My husband whispered to me when he got there, “I did not change the life insurance.” But the life insurance company has called many times to ask if he changed his address. He hasn’t made a change of address. He still gets mail here. They just want that policy or for me not to see it.
My husband managed a small trust (not beneficiary). The co-trustee got a letter from a lawyer who said he was my husband’s lawyer asking for all the trust documents. I asked my husband why. He yelled, “NO! I did not call a lawyer!” They did. Fishing. I learned the lawyer was another cousin.
I keep changing my banks, passwords. Someone went to SS and asked for my information. It was sent to me instead. Someone was in my house. They were upstairs and got all kinds of financial papers. I have artwork missing. I’ve changed locks and am paranoid.
The brother would tease and laugh sadistically at me and say – “I can’t make him talk to you. I thought you two comminuted better than that.” He did the same thing to the other woman. Teased her sadistically. Kept telling her she could talk to her mother then said, it wasn’t up to him. He said, “You better find out who that woman was. You better pray on it you find out.” He knows who she was because she supposedly deposited him in Knoxville ten days later and the brother took him to KY. If a woman even really took him. Was I supposed to pray to him?
The brother told me, “Your neighbors are watching. Your friends aren’t really your friends. You know what I’m talkin about. Act like you got some sense.” This was after barely sleeping for 10 days and very creepy. He told the other woman her neighbors said she abused her mother. He gave names of neighbors who didn’t exist. He told me, “I’m going to go to court and tell them you were going to get a gun and have him shoot himself in the head.” He was trying to scare me from court, I didn’t get to talk in court anyway. We weren’t going into the town because of the police and now he’s a resident I don’t want them to serve me with a divorce up there and have jurisdiction over the few assets I have left.
I think my husband’s been coerced before he ever left. There is no legitimate reason for him not to speak to his family or friends. There is no reason another woman has been kept from her family for ten years by this brother either except for financial reasons. He should not have bedsores. He is wasting in such a cruel way. The isolation is unimaginable. I miss him so much I can’t think about anything else. I cannot get help and he’s going to die.
I need a go fund me page please help me my poor father had to think I deserted him in his time left on this earth! HELP ME PLEASE I HAVE AN PPORTUNITY TO WRITE A JUDGE THEN I WANT TO DEVOTE MY LIFE TO THIS ORG!!!
Our story is about a different kind of elder abuse: emotional and financial abuse through lies and theft. Our dad is a 92 year old decorated WWII veteran married to our mom for 71 years. In August last year we hired an agency to take my dad out a few hours a week to just give him something to do. In December he was hospitalized with the flu. He and my mom were exhausted and needed help once he was home so we hired the same agency for 24/7 care. That’s when the trouble started.
The agency sent a myriad of people over the course of the next few weeks. No one else except family members were ever in the home. My mom began noticing some of my dad’s things were missing. Over the course of a week his wedding band, a one carat diamond ring, his class ring, his Elks ring, two 18 karat Italian gold chains with medallions, a 1926 gold piece made into a money clip and his wallet all went ‘missing’.
The office manager convinced us that my mom had ‘hidden’ his things which is common in dementia patients. (According to mom’s doctor she does not have dementia.) Once we turned the house inside out looking for the missing items with no success this same office manger told us she saw my mom looking sneaky with something in her hands when she went into the garage. When mom came out of the garage the office mange said her hands were empty and mom told her she wasn’t doing anything in the garage, now concluding that our 91 year old mother was hiding our dad’s valuables in the garage! By the way, our mom about lost her mind with worry and emotional distress due to these liars.
We met with the owners and office manager and were told we have no proof that someone from their agency stole the items so we should file a police report. We filed with police and numerous other state, city and county agencies telling the same story over and over. No response from anyone. We searched pawn shops and online sites to no avail.
Then, a month later we received a phone call from the CHP telling us they found so,e of my dad’s ID on the side of a freeway on ramp, thus proving my mom didn’t ‘hide’ his wallet and therefore it was safe to assume she didn’t hide anything else. We contacted an attorney specializing in elder abuse. He wrote letters to the agencies insurance company…to make a long story shorter, they denied the claim because we had no ‘proof’.
Since that time we found out about two other instances in which this same agency hired thieves who go away with major theft. In addition, The owner was trying to swindle one of his clients out of millions of dollars which after hiring another attorney that seems to have been thwarted.
There supposedly are laws in place to protect against this kind of elder abuse and yet, nothing gets done.
Is there anyone out there who has dealt successful with this type of abuse? If so, who did you contact? What can be done to protect our aging family members?
I need help finding a lawyer who will take a medical malpractice, wrongful death, and/or elder abuse case against Kaiser. I’ve tried all the ones I could find through Google and personal recommendations but have not been able to find anyone yet. The statute of limitations is about to run out so I decided to try one last time.
The situation is that for seven months Kaiser tortured my Mother. Among many, many other horrors they broke bones and refused to cast them, knocked out teeth, left her lying in feces for hours, caused an anoxic brain injury, lied to us, forced us to attend a death panel to justify why she deserved to live (they told us at 66 and retired she wasn’t “worth the cost” of trying to save her life), and one of their doctors finally killed her by administering a dose of morphine she admitted she knew would be fatal because Mom was “making faces” (something common in people with anoxic brain injuries).
Unfortunately Mom had Kaiser insurance from the job she retired from and we couldn’t get approval to take her to anyone else. I am a single mother of 2 very young kids and couldn’t afford to take her anywhere on my own. We tried everything – up and down the Kaiser chain of command, every government agency we could, lawyers, mediation… No one would let us/help us move her. My Mom was my best friend, the kindest most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and had only just barely gotten to meet the grandchildren she longed for so badly.
I spent 7 months and all of my money going to the hospital every day I could, trying to make sure she was as safe as possible and she still suffered so much because I could only be there at most 8 hours a day. My brother was there almost every minute I wasn’t, but… It didn’t matter how much we were there. We couldn’t save her.
Right now things are rough (for example my kids and I are living in a shelter) because of the emotional and financial drain caused by trying to fight for Mom every day for so long.
Kaiser destroyed our lives and I so badly don’t want to let them act like it’s business as usual, ruining other lives, killing other people, making money… ike my Mother’s life, and the lives of so many seniors, were worth nothing…
I was referred to you buy a parent in one of the FB groups I belong to and I was hoping you might be able to refer me to a lawyer who will take my case.
I wish Kerri kasem and trudy Campbell truvis too kelly rooney Julie l belshe ❤🙌👐❤️✌️🌎 ,family have a fabulous holiday god bless with for kasem care foundation 👍💪♿ end discrimination and harassment domestic violence 💯
I, Ronald Pray, was filed against in court twice as punishment by greedy family members for discovering that my elderly parents were having their assets taken through fraud, being starved through a cornflake diet, being held in seclusion, and being defrauded through a false guardianship.
I tried to talk to my mother over the telephone, I was told that I was not allowed to speak to her. I called again without identifying myself and was immediately asked for the password since no one could visit or speak to my mother without a password made by Jaqueline Pray. I called several times until I found a sympathetic care worker there who would give me the password. My mother cried like a baby telling me that virtually no one was allowed to visit her while she was held in virtual seclusion and abused by Jaqueline Pray. She begged me to get her out of there and away from Jaqueline Pray. The blame for this false wardship and subsequent abuse of my mother falls squarely on the shoulders of the Seminole County Sheriff and the 18th Circuit Court. I told my brother Justin that he should take guardianship over mother and to get her away from the abuses of Jaqueline Pray.
The Sheriff’s office in Seminole County enforced a fraudulent guardianship over my mother refusing to witness her rescinding power of attorney vested to Jaqueline Pray declaring that she was under a guardianship held by Jaqueline Pray. The clerk of the court has verified that no such guardianship has ever been vested by the court. The Judge in the Domestic Violence complaint allowed for Jaqueline Pray to file this case on behalf of my parents effectively keeping me from ever talking to or seeing my parents for the rest of their lives. I was forbidden to see or speak to my mother for the last eight years of her life and to visit or speak to my father for the last year or so of his life; nor could I visit them on their deathbeds, nor could I attend their funerals and burials. This judge’s incompetence has caused me an insufferable grief. Also note that the plaintiff and her attorney are culpable in this felony of making this false declaration to the court in regard to guardianship, its conspiracy elements, and all of the accompanying fraud statutes and other lesser crimes included therein. They should have been jailed for this and the judge should have been booted off the bench.
These guardianships are falsely claimed as a term included and incorporated within the powers of attorney of both parents. An assistant State Attorney in Sanford informed me that power of attorney is not the lawful instrument nor the lawful method in acquiring guardianship over another. Proper forms with personal information must first be filled out and filed with the court in order to have a court review before it is vested; a temporary emergency guardianship may also be acquired. Again, the court clerk has verified that no guardianship was vested to Jaqueline Pray over my parents. The Plaintiff filed a fraudulent guardianship and the State of Florida accepted it as bonafide without ever vetting the claim nor verifying it with the letter of the law. In effect, anyone could hypothetically go through the white pages of the telephone directory in this judge’s jurisdiction; pick out any ‘Tom, Dick, or Mary,’ file a court case on their behalf as wards of a guardianship then file a court case without their consent against another person. My parents were held like children without Rights due to the court’s and the sheriff’s misfeasance, malfeasance, and nonfeasance allowing for the filing of a restraining order against me without their consent, and keeping me from ever seeing them for the rest of their lives. This includes being enjoined from attending their funerals and burials. I am outraged!
My father has been effected by Alzheimer’s Disease since 1995 yet Jaqueline Pray brought him into one of her attorney’s office in Winter Park, Florida on December 21, 2001 for him to sign a Power of Attorney over him and control of his assets to her. My father couldn’t carry on a conversation; he couldn’t read and comprehend what he was reading; he would use the closet as a commode; he would wear diapers for incontinence; he would wander off where we couldn’t find him having to call law enforcement to locate him; he didn’t even know who I was. This, the domestic violence plaintiff Jaqueline Pray and her attorney, should have been jailed for.
The State of Florida Attorney General does not want anything to do with all of these abuses I have informed her of. Everything stated here is true and correct and is backed by evidence.
Carrie Ford is a sweet friend of mine and recommended that I post my story on this page. Thank you for your hard work and hopefully something can be done in North Carolina.
In any other situation, I would NEVER ever post something so sensitive like this but this situation is so egregious that we are in need of assistance.
I am requesting prayers for our beloved Ken. Tom’s brother Ken, only 56 yrs old, suffered from a major stroke on Sat, June 17th. Tom was informed of his medical condition 4 days later on June 20th through Steph. Steph had an intuition that something was wrong given Melissa’s dodgey facebook posts (Ken’s wife) . Steph then reached out to Melissa who has gorgeous kids of her own (not Ken’s) (They married 2 yrs ago and were contemplating divorce the day before the stroke). Melissa FINALLY came clean and admitted that Kenny Bill was in ICU and that she did not inform Ken’s family of his serious state – which included Kenny’s mother. Steph being an honorable and upstanding human being elected to inform Ken’s bother of his serious medical condition. Thank you and love you so much Steph, we are forever grateful. ❤️❤️
Tom then drove 7 terrifying hrs to be by his brother’s side. Tom was finally able to see his brother’s beautiful face which lit up when he recognized his little brother. After an exhange of “I love you” between brothers, Ken immediatly asked for his mom. ❤️ Note: EVERY parent should be informed about a threat to their child’s life, sadly Rosa was NOT. 😭 Thiis is compounded by the fact that Rosa lost a son – Pete Overfield and he died at 56 – Tom lost his big brother.
According to hospital staff, I am sorry to report that Melissa has actively blocked Ken’s mother and brother from receiving further information about Ken’s health and she has blocked them from further visits with Ken. However, Tom is diligently sitting in the waiting room every day at Ken’s hospital in NC and hopeful that he can get a glimpse of his brother. Ken certainly needs rest and time to recover, but he needs to see those who love him, even for a moment to know that we are here for him.
Ken is loved by so many: his mom, brother, nephew, aunts, cousins and me.
Prayers please for Ken’s recovery, and for his heart-broken mother. Tom Overfield ##shameful
My mother passed in 2004 after 64 years of marriage. The assistant pastor and his wife started sending my father cards and accepting gifts, using their religion as a means of bonding with my father, and alienating him from me. (I didn’t share their evangelism.) My father had a massive heart attack in 2008. His personal representative was deceased and he signed documents in the intensive care ward surrounded by his whole family, including a cousin who facilitated a his decision making (a disinterested party). The assistant pastor was in the room; when my father wanted to include him as a taker, I he looked at everyone and declined. I went to the bank with the power of attorney but the bank didn’t tell me my father had a $13k CD POD to the assistant pastor. When he died I learned about the bequest and couldn’t stop it. I appealed to the church in our home state, who said they would never allow such a thing, but my parents had retired to AR and the bishop of the church there approved it, even though it was not going to the church.
Additionally, there was a second CD for $13k which has disappeared. The bank has no explanation and has taken the position that the CD that went to the assistant pastor is one and the same.
The Arkansas Bank Department is responsible for enforcing bank records retention. They were not helpful.
The Federal Reserve is responsible for regulating this bank and has decided to side with the bank and refuses to discuss the matter with me, even though I am a retired attorney. My US Senator’s office accepts the Federal Reserve’s decision and says there’s nothing they can do.
I am appalled.
I have used a psuedonym but will be happy to provide my personal information if you can help me.
Thanks for reading this.
Here in Australia it happens in a big way. long story short. My sister’s Partners family I dumped him in a facility when he didn’t yet need to be there at all. They used the facility staff as policeman to keep my sister out which they did not manage to do for long because the stuff realised that she was not as rotten as his family said she was.
The worst part was when he was diagnosed with very minor spots on the lung of cancer. he was he was 65 and fit and lucid enough to Converse forever and laugh at Judge Judy and follow the plot. They left his cancer untreated and he died 6 and a half years later. A professor at the hospital where he died asked my sister why he had been left untreated for 6 and a half years because he could well have survived. All she could say was it is not my fault his family would not let me get him treated. The reason for this all was he had signed his powers of attorney under duress with my sister in the room telling him not to sign but he did bla his son’s said they would never speak to him again. He died a very bad death and we consider this murder deliberate murder. His family also managed to get his home loan refinanced by having him sign loan documents well they knew he had been diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s but the bank did not. Be aware there are murderers bastards out there as well who refuse their elderly family members medical treatment. I welcome any correspondence end I support Travis Campbell.
My personal journey into aging services began with a gut feeling that
there will be a huge amount of boomers and seniors, wanting and
needing information support and services in the next 20 years. When
you look at aging trends and aging demographics, that is an
understatement. What it means for those already in the business or
considering entering aging services for seniors is opportunity.
There are almost 40 million people aged 65+ in the United States.
That is almost 13% of the population. By 2030 there will be more than
72 million older persons making up 19% of the population.
Someone turns 50 every 8 seconds. Each year more than 3.5 million
boomers turn 55. By 2012, America’s 50 and older population will
reach 100 million.
According to the Administration on Aging of The Department of Health
and Human Services:
• The number of Americans who will reach 65 over the next two decades
increased by 31% during this past decade.
• If you reach 65 you can expect to live almost 19 more years.
• No surprise that women outnumber men by almost 6 million.
• Seventy two percent of older men are married; 42% of women are
• About 31% (11.2 million) older persons live alone.
• Almost a half a million grandparents have primary responsibility for their
• The population of 65+ will increase from 35 million in 2000 to 55 million in
• The 85+ populations are projected to increase from 4.2 million in 2000 to
6.6 million in 2020.
• Minority populations are projected to increase from 5.7 million in 2000 to
12.9 million in 2020 representing 23.6% of the elderly.
• Major sources of income for older people in 2007 were: Social Security –
87%; income from assets – 52%; private pensions – 28%; government
employee pensions -13%; and earnings – 25%.
In addition, aging is a global phenomenon. By 2030, 55 countries are
expected to see their 65 and older populations reach least 20 percent
of their total population. There are more people aged 65 and older
than the entire populations of Russia, Japan, France, Germany .
Hi Carrie I’ll try and be brief I wish I had read about your story back in September but I want to say how sorry I am that you’ve gone through such a terrible time in the past. My father was hidden away without any disclosure of address between September 2017 and November 2017. Because the eldest brother has power of attorney nobody would help I contacted everyone from assembly people to the Senator’s office District Attorney’s office Social Services my dad’s doctor Police Department I was just shocked by the lack of help. Because of my dad being hit in the way he is also blind legally his house of course it. Which was my primary worry once he entered hospital I contacted Social Services again because I have an extremely dysfunctional family that I stay away from I was the only person outing the fact that my dad was being hidden and things that were being done to him I was treated very badly by Young nurse who was caring for him on his first night there as if I was a source of the problem my son also witnessed this. I finally got a little help on the social services side when a house supervisor helped me out as I needed to report an incident the poww brother intercepted a phone call on the hospital phone and try to intimidate me and told me to stay away. After this call a few days later all sorts of information was texted to me and disclosed update on his hospital care were given and I had one day of happy victory. My dad was been moved by the p o w and a sibling who happens to be an RN have the eldest brother also works for Kaiser but not in a medical capacity. I wanted that house supervisor and case manager to document what happened to the police and I called at least 8 to 10 times speaking to every department and no one ever returns my calls. I am a single parent of low-income therefore getting a lawyer is not an option but I just wanted them to be accountable for what they did to my dad since they got in trouble at that hospital I’m assuming as all information had been overturned to me by the way the caregiver that they hid him away with quit as soon as her address was given. They have now moved him to a hospital so far away that they know it will be difficult for me to visit once he was out of hospital he is now living with that RN who is the spokesperson and receiving 24/7 care with caregivers coming in because she lives so far away and I haven’t spoken to her in over 9 years because she is a mentally unstable person but no charges have been made by people in the past which is unfortunate she always comes up smelling of roses. Fortunately my dad is still alive and with us I thought we were going to lose him before Thanksgiving as a result of the treatment he had and the isolation he suffered between September and November she has suffered some small Strokes and now can no longer speak well enough to understand over the phone they’ve put him so far away. I am not a freeway driver they know it is difficult for me to get there and I have not been invited or given certain times to be there so that I do not run into other family members. I just want the power of attorney who has pretty much put that RN in charge of everything and as far as I can see never even visited him just takes care of paperwork to be accountable and for it to be documented as to what they did to my father. I wanted it 2 be local law so that the police will have to be involved, I wanted to be a crime to hide an elderly person and a crime to not disclose and address for an elderly person this is the reason why no one on a city level would get involved not even the DA’s office people like me who do not have access to lawyers cannot get any help trust me I called the ACLU legal aid every single number you can think of I called and I am now exhausted and my heart breaks because I don’t know when I will never see my father again. He was always an enabler of abuse that’s why I don’t see my estranged mother to the siblings and their behavior and so I stay away even when they were hiding him and he could still speak because he was blind he didn’t know where he was and he didn’t want to rock the boat and now the poor man can’t even eat he wanted so much to have a Thanksgiving dinner she’s been on the tube since November. Maybe with your help we can speak to assembly people and our local senators and get a law passed to make it a crime to hide an elderly person without an address you cannot get a welfare check social services Just Smiles and says I can’t help you it is imperative that a laws passed so that police and District Attorney’s office has to help and find an elderly person that’s in Hidden Away. Anyway I’m so sorry for your loss love your dad and the horrible stress you’ve gone through thank you for your time and I pray that all people contact and write a letter to their assembly person to get this ball rolling let’s make it a law let’s get legislation to pass this so no one will ever have to suffer not knowing where an elderly person is and for that elderly person not to be isolated. Everyone knows isolation break a person down this is why it is used in prisons but should never be used on civilians and those weaker than ourselves. Thank you j u d e Mata s
If you and your family have evidence put in a binder followed by excel spreadsheet, make reference to the binder. I was informed by police captain and prosecutors office of my county which I reside in Arkansas, NO funds or position exist for a detective to sort through evidence. 100% has sucked reliving the nightmare of what happened to my grandmother, but I now know what happened, and ready to help other families. Amy Arkansas
My sister illegally appointed herself Moms POA-with the help of a Financial Planner whom wasn’t an Attorney to make the Trust change. I spent years being hurt over this as sister whom lived out of state liquidated assets over $600,000. hid money after writing inventory twice of cash-1 years apart-said that she made a financial error. Not involving Attorney or Notary as promised a month before. Then brings Mom while always lacking capacity to an Attorney to do the same change that was illegally done 5 years before-to protect herself. I reported inventory to APS, Police, FBI-all did nothing because its Civil-WOW. Brought to court and court doesn’t investigate for Elders protection and states- yeah miss counted extra 80% of cash, its what the guardian says and that’s all that is being considered. Looked for money in only one place when other evidence attempted to be presented to disprove decision- was rejected-was threatened to shut up or get thrown out of court room-?
Justice for Sale in the OC.
Appellate Court denied also for a technicality. They too ignored fact that same attorney consulted with Appellate-represented Respondent-Ignored. Now Moms health is again is compromised and Im being denied her closest child to know anything about ailing condition that appears eminent more recently than expected.
SOMETHING WILL CHANGE THIS SYSTEM-GOD WILLING-ITS UNFATHOMABLE.
I may not be an elderly lady yet, but I will in time. I am a young blind woman who was guardianized as a result of a big lie the Florida courts told me and as a result of manipulative and controlling parents who did not feel that I was living a safe life according to them. AS a blind person, and as a blind person with secondary mental health diagnoses up my belt, I found it hard to fight the guardianship. It is not full, but the key parts of the guardianship that my parents have control over are marriage, medical records and treatment, legal residence, social affairs, most of the rights adults would normally have by eighteen, but sadly, I didn’t get. I could however vote, hold a fast food job, travel, and apply for government benefits. I left Florida in 2010 because I wanted to have a distanced rehabilitation program in Littleton take over my rehabilitation. I went to the Colorado Center for the BLind, a school in Littleton that allows me to learn independence skills like cooking, cleaning, and traveling around the city of Denver. Because they stressed me out more, making me clean other people’s messes for being late, and because it became a trigger for me because before then, I was treated like a maid by my parents, I now have a PCA clean my apartment. Otherwise, I have a loving partner who is trying to help me get through this. SInce the guardianship has no weight in Colorado, I’ve come to a point where I want my medical privacy and the right to get pregnant but I’m afraid that my parents could book me a flight home to them, where there is no transport, no buses, and worst of all, isolation, drugs, and no friends to help me at all. They’d tell me to go to their inaccessible gym, which while it’s good for anyone to exercise, I am not allowed to talk about most subjects I prefer when around my parents. They try to control my every move, and plan to keep the guardianship because I don’t have a job. The thing is I’ve been in Colorado for 7 years and have been distant from my family since now I have a life. I sing in the Soar Youth and Adult Choir in Denver, under the direction of Emily Martin. My parents, however, live in Brevard County, Florida. I can’t get my therapists to communicate with them that my medical privacy is important because my intimate sexual details with partners would be revealed, and I am getting sick and tired of telling doctors not to add sexual details to my reports for fear that my religious family could kill me, my future husband, or future babies. As a blind person with another disability, I tried every bit of free legal recourse, including Legal Shield, but the attorneys in Brevard County won’t take my case. I have even tried contacting Disability Rights organizations, but they won’t help. As my life progresses, I’m afraid that I would become one of the isolated, drugged-to-death elders that populate nursing homes in Florida. If I could change one thing about this situation, it would be to tell my parents off for having guardianship and for hurting relationships with other people as a result. Men would run away from me and after seeing a friend freed by Kasem Cares, I personally feel that this is my last hope. I could be told to go home at any given moment, but I was told to get the police on them, but not sure how effective that will be. The moral of this story: don’t get guardianship of a blind person and do this to cover up your own failures. My parents’ guardianship was justified in their minds by me hanging out with a 51-year-old guy at 17, which though scary, was not perceived as predatory by me. The guy, however, was not the best at being good anyway, but the parents freaked out and started accusing him of grooming me for sex, but little would I know that this would ruin my whole life, which it shouldn’t. IF I were governor, or President, I would illegalize this case and make all guardianships illegal for all persons with a capacity for indpendence, and encourage strongly all parents to get some kind of education on disability and sex before they make any decisions at all.
Update- My mom is with my older sister now and safe – thanks for the help. Please update and remove personal info, names, numbers from last post
I’m not comfortable sharing my story anymore but I want to lend my support to all of you suffering from this terrible crime. It’s a lonely business. There are still people who are close to me who have no idea what it’s like to experience elder abuse with a parent. Hang in there and do NOT stop visiting, if at all possible.
Hello, My Dad is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s and two of my sister’s one of which has power of attorney have told the nurses at the assisted living center where my Dad is, not to give me any information at all about how my Dad is doing. I live ten and a half hours away from the assisted living center where Dad is and as of now I don’t even have a vehicle or the funds necessary to visit my Dad. Unlike my two sisters I am on a very low income($778 a month) and after my bills are paid I’m lucky if I have $20 left over. The pain and heartache has gotten too much to bear and the thought that I will never see my Dad again before he passes is something I’m having a great deal of trouble even thinking about. I myself have severe cirrhosis and the daily pain of that and the thought of not seeing my Dad has put me on the very edge of not wanting to go on any longer. The reason my two sisters have kept my Dad’s well being from me is because I haven’t gone down to see him before now and they feel that I should have. They fail to realize that I don’t have what it takes to make the long drive down to see my Dad, something I have wished I was able to do for quite awhile now. I have prayed to God for help, but it seems as if my prayers have fallen on deaf ears. If I could only explain how much pain this causes me!
My husband is locked up for a least five years by Elizabeth greile an a p s worker she did not investigate anything a disgruntled drug addict made up a story because she wants to be a Care giver for him and I don’t like her so now our lives are destroyed able guardian ad litem is stealing his retirement and I am a 70yr homeless wife of 31yrs and not allowed to be near my husband this asp woman needs to be gone she lies and gets her way it’s all about money we need protection from asp my husband sits by a window
All day with tears in his eyes hoping his wife will show up to get him she declared him incompetent herself no doctor and illegally got a no contact order he can’t see any body he wants to see now he wants to die and so do I
My Grandpa was a victim of elder abuse by his second wife. A few months after my beautiful and wonderful Grandma passed away, the love of his life for over 50 years- my Grandpa went on various senior citizen trips etc. One fateful day he met the woman who would become his second wife on one of those trips.
We tolerated her for my Grandpa’s sake but she ran hot and cold so she was hard to connect with.
The control issues started when she made him take down pictures of his kids and grandkids. Then once they moved to Arizona from Minnesota, the isolation started.
We would try calling him but the phone would always be off the hook, so she would turn around and tell him his family didn’t care. We later found out she also told parishioners at their church and neighbors that my grandpa had no family.
When we could fly to Arizona to visit, she played the gate keeper and we could only visit on certain days and not for very long. She would start to put ideas in my grandfather’s head that we were going to steal his money etc. We could never have alone time with him, she had to be a part of every conversation and interrupt.
Fast forward some time later, his wife was battling cancer and hired in home help.
By the grace of God, this nurse found an address book and contacted my Aunt letting her know that my Grandpa was being hit by his wife. The wheels were set in motion to get my Grandpa out of that abusive situation and back to Minnesota. Can you believe despite this woman battling cancer, she still found the strength to abuse my Grandpa?
By the time guardianship was established which was a long process, and at first had been denied. Thankfully Grandpa was finally able to come home to Minnesota where he got to spend the last 3 months of his life with his family and rightfully buried next to the love of his life.
His evil second wife died three months later.
My Grandpa was her fifth husband. We also learned that she had pulled the same isolation and abuse on husband number 4 before he died.
My heart aches for those who are going through similar situations. It is so devestating and makes for a painful chapter in a family’s legacy.
Our father was killed in April. His wife has excluded us from everything. We don’t even have ashes. Wr have contacted many lawyers and have been told we don’t have a leg to stand on legally. In the last year of my fathers life we saw him very little. His wife always found an excuse to cancel meeting. We weren’t aloud to just go to see him. Now we have nothing that was our fathers. Nothing!
My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer in March of 2013. Up until this time he was very independent. He drove, paid his bills, visited people….. To make a long story short, doctor appointments were rescheduled or cancelled without my knowledge, medication was not properly administered, the alleged perpetrator told the doctor he was on medication that he was not on…… The alleged perpetrator talked my father into treatments my dad said his entire life he did not want. My father was taken to his bank (not the normal branch he went to) where he closed out his accounts…… he was taken to a lawyer and his will was changed…….. His landline blocked my calls as well as the calls from the catholic church he had attended for close to 40 years, he was no longer attending that particular church. APS was involved, and one of the investigators told me he thought my dad was being abused, but he could not prove it.
My dad eventually ended up in the hospital . The person who lived at his house would not make modifications to the home to accommodate his needs, would not hire a caregiver….. and eventually would not allow my father back into his own home. My father moved in with us for the last month of his life and died peacefully in our home surrounded by our family while my dad’s attorney tried to evict the person living in his home. Following my dad’s death was a long and drawn out probate & we contested nothing. It was initiated and fueled by the perpetrator. One of the APS supervisors told me he forwarded one of the employees of the church to law enforcement for failure of a mandatory reporter to report suspected abuse. I also received a letter from the vicar general of the diocese who apologized for any ways in which anyone from the church left me feeling hurt, disrespected or dismissed.
Again for the sake of brevity a lot of details have been omitted.