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“Hello? Yes, this is Barbara Hoffman” From there the nightmare begins with the Washington State Guardian System. I am not nearly through the system but, Our son working hard to stop what has been going on. It was a Friday, I had just been out looking for a home for my husband to be placed. He has Ataxia, the symptoms are very similar to ALS and he had been sick and then placed in a Rehab. At that time he was working to regain strength and get to come home. This was not going to be the case after the phone call.
“My name is Lisa Rasmussen and I am your husbands guardian, you no longer have any say or control of what happens to him. You have abused him and abandoned him, you want him dead, you cannot see him again or you will be arrested.” I am calling your work and having you fired and I will own you right down to your socks.” Imagine my confusion. Vic, and I have been married for 41 years, I still love him with all that I am. We were hard working people who saved a tidy sum for retirement and had made our plans for our years together. I was shocked and I was alone, I did not think for one minute that this would not get resolved quickly.
In May of 2015, the VA started sending caregivers into the home 3 days a week 4 hours at a time. Our daughter was coming in on the days that they did not come. We were in a one level home and he had all the bells and whistles to help him with his daily needs. In July Vic told me there was something wrong with the checking account and he believed that Mary was writing checks. She actually wrote $1180.00 in checks over a short time.
In August Vic developed a UTI and he was in the hospital. From there he went to the Rehab in Camas, WA. He never came home again. He was back in the hospital with a UTI and was returned to the rehab with IV antibiotics. About 2 weeks later Vic developed a new UTI and was put on back on IV antibiotics. Then the rehab told me his time had run out and that he needed to leave. He still had time left on his IV and they said they would remove that and get pills. I said no, he needed to finish the course and then come home. I filed for an extension and got it. This was the end of September.
It was at this time I got a letter saying someone had opened a credit card in my name. I talked with the people and the address they had was our daughters. I called the police and filed a report. My daughter was furious, her wife told me that she was a vet and that I owed this to them. I told her that I was not going to work to support her alcohol habit. I told her to get a job. It was a tough time and relations were strained.
In early October I developed pneumonia and was hospitalized. I was released and within the week the social worker at the rehab had left a list of homes for Vic to go to. He had looked over the list and told me that they were too expensive and that he wanted to come home. I said home it will be then. I left a note saying that these were too expensive, my mistake, I put it in writing. Putting something is writing was not the long suit of the rehab. I had never received a phone call or report on Vic’s condition and his abilities to take care of his basic needs. He told me he was getting stronger and could do the transfers. They did not allow him to have all of his equipment so there were a few gaps in his rehabilitation.
By Thursday the 3rd week of October, I got a call from the Social Worker at the rehab. I had to get Vic out of there by Monday or I would be charged $800 a day. My guess is they were done and wanted nothing more to do with him. I also believe there may have been some neglect on their part. At times it would take them 45 minutes to respond to his call to get assistance to use the bathroom. Wonder why he had UTI’s. I told the social worker I would bring him home and have the VA start coming in again. She said they would not do that as he needed more care than that. I asked what I should do? She told me to “quit my job”. I asked how I could pick a home on such short notice, how would I know he would get the proper care, that it wasn’t a shiny rattrap, flea bag? Looking good on the outside and no care on the inside? She said that was my problem. I was crying and distraught, I was on some heavy medications still and I was watching all our dreams and hopes go out the window. She told me to, “get over it”. I said that Vic and I had discussed this time in our lives and we both had said that it would be better to close our eyes and go to sleep than to go through or put each other through this type of situation. We had filled out DNR paperwork and he even refused water at the end.
That evening I was trying to regroup, our daughter called and said she would help me the next day find a good home for her father. I was appreciative. Within minutes of that phone call 6 police officers showed up at my home because they were told I was suicidal. I had no idea what they were talking about. They told me my “sister” had called them. I explained that I do not have a sister. They looked like circus clowns at this point trying to figure it all out. They left and I am still here.
The next day our daughter and I found a home close to where we live so that I could even walk to see him. It was a lovely place with only 4 men total. It was clean and it was stable. I was allowed in all areas of the home and I heard one of the men ask for a McDonald’s cheeseburger and the husband left to get him one. There was a great feel and lots of kindness in the home.
I walked through the door and home the phone rang and that is where the nightmare starts. Lisa Rasmussen was on the other end screaming like a wild woman. She told me:
I will have everything you own
I will own you down to your socks
You will be standing on a corner with a cardboard sign
I will make sure you never see Vic again, she never once referred to him as my husband
You try to see him I will have you arrested
He is mine now and I have all the control
I wanted him dead
I had abused him
I had abandoned him
I refused to pay for his care
This one sided conversation went on for 45 min. I was in shock, I told her we could work this out in a civil manner and that all the threats were not necessary. When the conversation was over I was completely shaken I did not know what to do.
I called a friend and she said that I needed a lawyer. I went to a lawyer and he called Lisa Rasmussen to find out what was going on. We could hear her screaming at him from across the desk through the phone. He said very little to her, she ranted for 15 minutes. When he hung up he said, “I do not know everything, but Lisa Rasmussen has something for your daughter”. That was when the lights went on.
The system took hold and kept me at bay saying they were going to file a VAPO, vulnerable adult protection order against me. That was the statement each time we tried to do anything. The attorney I ended up with could only tell me to get a divorce. Through all of this I am sure he should have been going after them, did not happen. My guess is that he was afraid of this woman, many of the attorneys in this area have told me they cannot fight them since they have to work with them and they are unregulated and can do as they please.
At one point Lisa Rasmussen was going to place Vic with our daughter, she knew of the pending charges and did not care. He was going to move into a house with 3 adult women, one teenager, a baby and 5 dogs. This is a three bedroom townhouse with no bathing facilities on the main floor, Vic cannot do stairs. He was to live in the dining room with a curtain around him. I was instructed to buy him furniture and bedding to accommodate his needs in the home. I went shopping with our daughter and bought what was needed. This was not good enough, Lisa Rasmussen, knowing there were pending charges of credit card fraud and identity theft, handed our daughter my husband Visa and told her to buy what she needed and I would pay for it. Over $500 was spent. I did not know that he would be needing a new dining room table. When I called her about it she told me that was her call and she could do as she pleased. I closed the credit card account.
I was waiting for the VAPO to be filed, it did not come. On December 31, 2015 Lisa Rasmussen started an investigation into the abuse charges. This was done this late into the guardianship because the court date was January 8,2016, one week away. There was no way in the world that the investigation could be completed in this amount of time and they could have their way with whatever they wanted as the charges still stood. In March 2016, I was cleared of all charges, all accusations were found unsubstantiated.
During this time Vic was isolated. He was only allowed to talk to Lisa Rasmussen, her lawyer, our daughter and a brother and sister he had not talked to in 10 years. He was told I was abusive to him, that I had stolen from him, that I wanted him dead, over and over and over. Our son tried to talk to him and Lisa Rasmussen told him if he talked to him about me or the case again she would get a court order to keep him away from his father.
January 8, 2016, Vic was declared incompetent on a felonious psych report. He was assigned a professional guardian. This woman with a sweet smile and friendly voice was not that at all. She has spent over $33,000 in 3 months. Her reports of money spent and monthly expenses are inflated. We are questioning everything through the courts.
I had an attorney until May 2, he is an honest man. He too insisted that I get a divorce to protect my assets of 41 years. I did not want to but, I did follow his advice and start the process. Again, we were not addressing the real problem. Vic was in a money pit, his money being spent on guardians, attorneys and court fees. They charged over $350.00 to take him to a Dr. appointment. We were to go to court on the 6th and start the process, and fight the guardians reports. I was asked by his assistant if I expected him to be there on Friday? I was taken aback. I said, “Yes, why wouldn’t he be?” She said, “He had not planned to be there but, he could if I thought he needed to be.” I could not breath, my chest ached, I lost vision, my stomach was churning, my head was swimming. I had been through this before, I had been told by many attorneys they would not fight these people and here I was facing this again. I said I understood that he could not fight these people because he had a business to maintain, he could not rock the boat. This enraged my attorney and he resigned from the case on Tuesday. I had until Friday to pull it all together, find an attorney, bring them up to speed and be in court. That did not happen.
Our son went to court for me. He filed for a continuance, he filed for guardianship. Before he stepped into the courtroom the professional guardian and her attorney pulled him into a room and told him to sign the papers and then they could all go home. He did not sign the papers and said he wanted to talk to the judge. They turned and walked out.
Long story short, the judge was receptive to our son, allowed him a continuance and helped him with the process for getting guardianship. He explained to the court that the abuse was unsubstantiated gave him the documentation from DSHS. He told him his qualifications, and that he had taken the guardian class and passed. We now have 2 weeks and I have found an attorney in another county that we are going to talk to Monday. We finally got a break, this is just the opening volley, these people are going to fight hard to get all the money they can grab. It is a mess, we will continue to fight.
Washington is completely unregulated and it is up to us to expose this mess. We need to make enough waves in public that the legislators cannot ignore us, that the general public is angry about this. Everyone needs to be aware that it only takes one angry person to tell lies, and make up stories to cause this kind of damage to a family. I beg all of you in Washington to contact the foundation, they will give you my number and we can begin to change this unregulated system.
first i took care of my Mom right to the end she had ALS. after that i helped out with my mother in law she had 2 types of cancer. i then took my Dad out of the nursing home since i had to clean him up everyday and my Mom why she could shaved and dressed him for bed every night. When i put my Dad in the hospital at the end i was asked by the doctors above the doctors in ICU what is it that i did to keep him alive for so many years i told them he had a place with his daughter he had his tv, puppy. kitty and his little granddaughter. My Dad had dementia, stokes, delusions sickle cell, many heart related aliments . He served in WWII passed at 85. Between both my parents they had 6 children together they had me. I am so proud of the both of them that i can say i love and still love their ex-spouses. My Dad was also legally blind and still took care of his children. My Mom is a Saint she was so patient and the glue to our family. What a horrible disease to watch her go through. Although my father was also mentally ill he or the doctors at that time my Dad was never properly treated for that which i feel is so heart breaking.
My Dad sacrificed a lot during his life to make sure that if he died before my Mom, there would be enough money and assets to takecare of her needs until her passing. My father died in 2009. At that time, it was a known fact by my three brothers and myself that Mom had dementia. The oldest brother was living at my parents home at the time of my father’s death, and was not working. Within one month, he had used one of my father’s credit card accounts to issue a card in his name, the account had a credit limit of $50,000. I asked my Mom if she authorized this and she no, that was your father’s account. So, I called the credit card fraud unit to open an investigation. They sent an alert through email which went directly to my brother, when the fraud dept called to talk to my Mom to see if she authorized it, my brother was sitting next to her, telling her what to say. When this effort failed, I contacted my brother in NV and told him what was going on. He didn’t want to get involved, little did I know he was in on the whole plan. My Mom became totally dependent on the brother living with her. She would no longer let anyone else take her to the doctors, grocery shopping or anywhere. She became afraid of him because of his intimidation. It got so bad when my daughter took her young son to visit his Grammy that she stopped going to her home. He eventually convinced my Mom that I was going to steal all her money and put her in a nursing home. My daughter and I invited her out for her birthday, we were told never to come to her home again. My daughter was crushed that her Grandmother would say this to her, and I was still recovery from caring and watching what was once a very active father, die from congestive heart failure. I didn’t have any energy within me to fight anymore. The brother in NV came to MD, added his name to her checking account, purchased the house next door and furnished it with funds from the investment account my father had left for my Mom. He knew when Mom died, the house would become his clear and free. In 2010, they moved my Mom to NV, while the brother in MD remained in her home. Before she left, he had her sign over ownership of my Dad’s RV and her vehicle. Dec 2013, I received a call from my brother in NV, crying and apologizing and asked me to come she my Mom. I made two trip to NV within one month and it was the second trip that revealed that she was very unhappy being isolated from everyone and her health was failing. They attempted to change her Trust when there was no longer cash value in the investment account. I brought her back to MD and immediately took her to my father’s attorney for help. BIG MISTAKE !!! He had my Mom resign as Trustee, making himself the Trustee, I am the Successor Trustee. We closed out her checking account which my brother in NV was paying all of his bills, those of my brother in MD and his daughter who was now also living in the MD home. The investment account was placed in the Trust so they wouldn’t have access to it. I retained an attorney on behalf of my Mom to have the courts declare her incompetent so that I could become her Guardian as stated in her Advance Directive. A hugh legal battle ensued because I had shut down their funding source and had Mom in my custody. They accused me of kidnapping even though she had only been with me two weeks at this point. During all of this, I had a full time job and she couldn’t be left alone during the day. My daughter tried to help when she could, but with a young son and watching other children during the day it was too much for her. We agreed that best thing for her was to move her into a Independent Senior Living Apt where she would be able to socialize with people her own age and get involved in daily activities. I hired homecare to be with her during the day to help her with meals and person hygiene. My Mom was adjusting so well, she started gaining weight, joining the other residence for activities and dinner in the evenings. She was looking forward to taking day trips provided by the Property Management. Once she was settled into her new home, I advised the attorney/Trustee of her new residence. He immediately notified my brothers attorney, and they were able to gain access to the building by a Postman who gave them her apt number and they took her clothes and all. I was able to reach my Mom by a cellphone that I purchase for her, and she was so confused. They were hiding her out at different locations so I couldn’t find her. I contact Office on Aging, Adult Protective Services, Police Dept and eventually State’s Attorney Office to open an investigation into financial exploitation/abuse. APS sent a case worker and reported that she was fine, closed file. I requested a meeting with the APS case worker and was denied, yet he was meeting with my brother and niece every visit. I never had the opportunity to tell my story, they only were hearing from the very people that were abusing her mentally and financially. Police Dept wanted to help get her back, but was stopped by the States Attorney Office, she hadn’t been declared incompetent by the court. So, in their mind she could go or do whatever she wanted regardless if it was in her best interest or not. My brother’s attorney advised him to return her to NV, because the State’s Attorney would not spend the resources to have her returned to MD for court. My brother and his daughter drove her back to NV, three months after I had brought her home. State’s Attorney closes their investigation. The last time I saw my Mom was on April 17,2013. Now, three years later my Mom has four beautiful great-grandchildren that will never know her. My daughter, my Mom’s first grandchild has been denied having a Grandmother in her adult life. I have been denied a Mother, who I have care for and did everything in my power to protect her … but have failed. I was recently advised that my Mom has been placed in a Nursing/Assistant Living Home somewhere in NV,, and that if I want to see her I will have to coordinate my visits through my 26 yr old niece who now has POA. I just turned 60 in March, and I will be damn if I ask permission from anyone to see my own Mom. I recently retained an attorney to request an accounting of the Trust, because I have evidence of mismanagement. My attorney agreed that things were not right, however, I was not entitled to an accounting until such time that I become the Trustee or my Mom dies. So, this Trustee/Attorney can continued to send money to my Mom who’s account is being control by the very people that having been stealing from her for the past 7 years !!! Unbelievable Signed : A Voice for Mom
My husband was taken from me in Oct. I was told that I would never see him again. I was told by the Guardian Ad Litem that she would own me right down to my socks. She said I would be on the street and she was going to have my job. She went on for almost an hour about how horrible I was. She said I abused my husband and was stealing from him and that I had abandoned him. He had been either in the hospital or a Rehab since August. They investigated me for a VAPO and found all allegations were unsubstantiated. But, they will not let me be his guardian. They have appointed a guardian that has a history through the courts, (article in Wall Street Journal), of misappropriating funds of the people she was to protect. My husband was isolated and told repeatedly that I was stealing from him, that I was abusive and that I had abandoned him. I was not allowed to see him until February, I took him to a public place with a witness in tow. I have only been able to see one other time. When I picked him up he was dirty, his urine bag was full. He told me he was just staying in his room. He seemed afraid to tell me anything. He has a degenerative disease and I am afraid that he will die before I get to hold him again. We have been married 41 years and I am being forced to divorce him to protect my assets. This is such a mess, I had caregivers in the house before he went in the hospital, they are mandatory reporters and never once found anything to report. This was all brought about by my daughter and an over zealous social worker. If there is anybody else out there that lives in Clark County WA contact me and let’s start changing things.
My Mom is 90 years old, the younger daughter my mother help her to continue to work, mom stay since the first one born about 26 years old and her daughter made my mom to move to her home. MY mother and father left they jobs to stay in the house with baby, plus cooking to everybody, cleaning house and laundry from everybody in the house.First husband she had 2 boys. Later they got divorced and she already got a boyfriend who was married after he got divorced and this FUCK woman has 3 more children, my parents were over 85 years old. My rental an apartment and she brought all his 5 children to take to school and she never pay her nothingChildren grew up and older. my father died and she placed my mother to Wanaque Center nursery and she never allow my mother to go out with any of us, MOM`s children.
MY mother trust noemi due how much help her but noemi placed in Wanaque nursery and she stated since my mom signed papers in English and mom does not understand, she took adsvantage of her, She got the papers my mother signed and refused to give my mom the papers she signed. My Mother is US Citizen, and she got the right to get her papers she signed. Nobody can do nothing about it. My mother is like in prision due noemi requested place some alarm in her wrist so nobody will take care out. NO HOLYDAY, NO CHRISTMAS, NO THANKGIVING AND MANY OTHERS HOLYDAYS JUST noemi mc andrewSTATED NOBODY WILL TAKE HER OUT. SHE IS 90 YEARS OLD. I must to do something to help with gov. but useless, I complaint Senior rights but I waste my time. I comes to see her but she is always crying, nobody come to see her. I got home so desperate how long my mother is going to live like that. She is 90 years old I want my mother delete papers she signed to her. HOW SHE IS GOING TO DO IT IF noemi REFUSED TO GIVE HER A COPY. MY MOHER IS US CITIZEN, noemi CAN NOT REFUSED TO GIVE MY MOTHER A COPY, noemi is COMMIT A FRAUD TO REFUSED MY MOTHER HAS COPY OF THE PAPERS SHE SIGNED., THEY ALL IN ENGLISH AND MY MOTHER SPEAK SPANISH AND ENGLISH.
PLEASE HELP MY MOTHER BEFORE SHE DIED IN THAT PLACE. SHE DOES NOT DESERVED THIS LIFE. THIS YEAR MY MOM WILL BE 91 YEARS OLD. YOU CAN SEE YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME, TIME RUNS TOO FAST. EVERY TIME I SEE SO SAD AND CRYING I GET SO UPSET. I need somebody to tell me what you I do. I DO NOT SPEAK TO noemi, I will not longer considere my sister for what she did our mother
I am already retired and I just count with my Social Security pension.
my sister…took all away from me…dad .made will and trust out..for me and sis…i was in it…mom was left out …in 2008…a month later sis video tape dad talking remembering old times…and what he did growing up…sis left will in dads room for anyone can see it….my aunt read willl later on saw that my mom wasnt in it…told dad to put her in….sister took dad to lawyers…instead of making a new paper trail…they got lil peice of paper called amendments…the fuck you over papers…well the first amendment was to put mom in….and it work…sis so happy..next month they wrote a sec amendment…which says mom in…and alll too..sister …then when sister dies then to me rick…
i was my dads caretaker for over three years…24/5 …..as sister worked….she such a bitch..she took three months off…and never told me…dad was a fighter always yelling screaming bitting….hitting me….but i grow up ..on that i was used to it….and would never hurt my dad….i worked with him since i was a kid…at age five….where dad was ..i was not far behind….i got anything i wanted from him…..as i was taking care of him….i stoled checks from acct before sister took check book away….she didnt put much money in dads acct…and we be broke by third week in month…but dad was smart had over draft on a thirty grand card…..i only got paid 450.00 a month from dad….
so as sister was working…not taking care of him…and dad liked car rides…i / we go to bank i make out checks to me…as he signed them…cause as a kid i wrote forged checks…from dads acct…but dad loved me and never pressed charges….thats why i took care of him….cause he tooked care of me….
anyway dad passed in oct 2013…..sister poa..and now exacuter of will trust….i begged and begged to see copy of will and trust…
but at dads funural…i get a speech from sister…to family and friends….she couldnt have done this with out the help from me…..that speech sure pays all bills remember that next time a bill comes…..
anyway about two years later we go see dads /her lawyer….i ask to see will and trust…oh yea..
sister brought in recepits to collect for money she paid out …cause she didnt put much in dads acct…
as lawyer reading will and trust..says to me…mom gets house until she dies and sister gets rest…..if sister dies first then i get…
you belive that shit…i told lawyer i kill her…
he says sister can kick me out of dads house….and have me arrested….and all the lawyer stuff….i told him..well she better hire a body guard…cause if i cant have what is really mine either can you……as dad says cant take it with you…..plus i never seen an aromor car at a cemertary have you…
My grandmother was stolen me. I have always been extremely close to her and never could have imagined how things turned out. We were always a very close-knit family, and I spent every bit of free time I had, visiting my grandparents. A few years ago, my aunt, who I was also extremely close to, started dating a new guy right. This was right around the time that my grandmother starting showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Long story short, my aunt bought a house with her mentally and verbally abusive boyfriend. Without warning, he drove to my grandmother’s house, picked her up, drove her to their house, and sent the rest of the family an email saying that we were not allowed on their property and would be prosecuted if we showed up on their estate. Simultaneously, the boyfriend made up outrageous lies about the rest of the family, making my grandmother fear that we were all trying to harm her, kidnap her, put her in a nursing home, and steal all of her money. We called the elder abuse hotline, the police, and an attorney, but my grandmother told them all that she was afraid of us, wanted to stay where she was, and didn’t want to see us. As it turns out, we were granted very limited visitation, and were able to calm her fears. She told us that the boyfriend forced her to buy boxes so that he could drive to one of her homes, pack it up, and sell it. Her bedroom and dining room furniture made it to their house, but she never saw the rest of her belongings. This was about three years ago. Last year, over a period of six months, my grandmother went from walking freely to not being able to stand or support her own weight. We asked if she had a wheelchair at home. Her response was that she didn’t have or need one, because she stayed in her bed, in her room all day. To my knowledge she is still alive, but I doubt that I will hear about it when she does pass. My only hope at this point is that she’s not in pain, and is actually buried with my grandfather, in the family plot she bought with her father, years ago. My aunt and her boyfriend have taken two beloved sons, five grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren away from my grandmother, at the time when she needed us most. Her quality of life has gone down significantly, and she lost everything that she enjoyed, in her final years. I have many cherished memories of her, but will never regain the time that was lost.
My half brother took my grandmother who he hasn’t seen in 25 years to Arizona. Him and his wife have done nothing but lie to me about where she is . I love in Pittsburgh , Pa . all I want is the chance to talk to my grandmother as often as she wants. I have cried everyday for a week because of this. This was done sneaky behind my back .
My aunt & uncle were found in poor health in their home having no contact w/ family members for 2 years. They were given a caseworker in the state of Massachusetts until the state could make contact w/ family. Once we (family) found out this horrible news we got right on it and tried to talk them into going into assisted living.
They resisted us all the way saying they wanted to stay in their home until they died.
They both have been diagnosed w/ dementia (early Alzheimer’s) by their family physician.
My uncle has some wealth to him and no living relatives on his side of the family. My aunt has my mom her only living sibling left in her family who resides in another state. My mom contacted my sister and asked her to follow up w/ the state caseworker. My sister ended up (cold heartily) putting them in an assisted living against their wishes but before doing so she contacted an attorney to write up a
Will. The attorney met with them at their home along w/ my sisters & I.
My uncle & aunt were nervous but were asked by the attorney in one question what they would like to do with their home & assets upon their death? My aunt named her
sister and she is up there in age as well. My aunt & uncle are 90 & 91 her sister 85.
The attorney asked them to name an alternate because of the sister’s age. We then
proceeded asking them about naming a POA and a healthcare proxy. They had no
clue what that meant so with my explaining to them they named both my sisters.
There was no mentioning of a Trust. My uncle & aunt signed the paperwork and then
the lawyer never explaining to them wrote up a Realty Trust naming my sister sole Trustee. They & I were duped by both my sister an attorney as that was their motive to get my sister solely named as Trustee. I would have never allowed that to happen
as it should have been written up as a Living Estate leaving the house in my aunt &
uncle’s possession until they both died. They named me as the alternate beneficiary.
My sister’s and Mom thought that it should have been named as all 3 neices not just
myself as the alternate. I thinking that all 3 neices should be named asked the attorney to put it in all 3 neices names. He couldn’t do that as that is not what my aunt & uncle requested. He ended up putting on the Schedule Of Beneficiaries 100%
going to the sister & if she predeceases them 100% to myself and if I predease them as well he named both my sisters to receive 50% each.
My sister did not like the responsibility of caring for the house so she put it on the market. My uncle would be so upset with that decision. My sister said that she would
put the proceeds from the sale in my uncle’s account to use towards their assisted living cost as that is over $12,000 a month they have been moved to the memory care unit after living there for 1 year. My uncle thinks it is only costing him $1,000 a
month. We agreed not to tell him the truth as it would upset him and not make things
easy on the assisted living facility. I’m now regretting this whole scenario because my
sister sold the house and is giving the proceeds to our mother. My uncle & aunt’s wishes were for everything to be transferred AFTER their death NOT BEFORE. They both are still living and are very healthy except for the dementia. My uncle is going to be charged a Capitol Gains tax & the cost of the realtor & closing cost. My sister has also spent close to $12,000 in upkeep and plumbing work & taxes on the house since signing their names to the piece of paper.
My sister emailed me and said the trust gifted my mom the house on the day they signed the paper therefore the money from the sale should go to our mom. This is wrong because my uncle was presented by the attorney that all this would take place
after their death. It was deceit on my sister & the attorney.
This is all done out of hatred & disdained towards me they do not want me to inherit
any of it. I was the closest with my aunt & uncle through the years visiting them often
until I was in a serious car accident. I thought that my aunt & uncle were out traveling
as that is what they liked to do. They were free birds as they had no children. I myself
should have known something was wrong after not receiving a Christmas card w/ a sizeable monetary gift in it. I was the only one who would receive this every Christmas. The Trustee (sister) is my moms favorite always has been my whole life.
My mom is her little puppet and will go along with whatever my sister wants. I have let my sister & mom know how I feel that they duped my aunt & uncle. The sister is also named Executor of their Will. The Will is written up in the same manner as the
Schedule Of Beneficiaries as the Trust was written. I’m now waiting to hear that she does some misdeeds with the Will as well. I in a million years would have not thought
that my sister and my mom would be so deceitful I trusted them both. My aunt & uncle would disown them if they were in their right state of minds. It is Financial Elder Abuse in my book. I had no problems if my mom inherited everything as long as my aunt & uncle’s wishes were followed. My mom has not seen and barely talked to
my aunt in almost 30 years. She actually bad mouthed my aunt & uncle to me on several different occasions. If my aunt had known what my mom thought about her &
my uncle they would not have named her a beneficiary at all. I should have told them
everything but feel as though it would have hurt my aunt feelings.
The bottom line is make sure that the Attorney explains everything word to word to your love one before letting them sign any paperwork otherwise they could lose their
assets & properties. I feel like such a fool for trusting my mom & sister. I remember my
uncle turning to me after signing his name and saying geez I sure hope that I didn’t just give my house away. I assured him that he didn’t everything was contingent on their deaths and I would never let that happen.
The attorney who wrote this so call Trust up was fired by my sister about a year ago.
The new attorney has been brainwashed by my sister saying that I am no good and only after their money. It is not the truth because I had/ have no say in anything legal
concerning them. My aunt & uncle were very good to me over the years and I was/am their only advocate it’s my mom & sister who is after their assets and it is proven by
stealing their house from underneath them. So very sad!
My mother was a strong and independent woman and in good health in January of 2014. Then my sister after having a superficial relationship with our mother for almost 20 yrs. Showed up and took over her life. She drugged her with Ambient and convienced her to move to a Senior Apt complex where she lived. I was forbidden to see my mother. My sister claimed that I upset her when I spoke to her. Funny. Since I havent spoken to my Mother in 10 months. Her health steadily deteriorated over the next year without medical attention. She fell twice in her Apt. and then my sister put her in a Hospice Home. When I was finally able to visit my mother in the hospital in June 2015 , i could not believe my eyes. She was drugged so heavily and was unable to chew her food. When she was admitted to the Hospice House she complained of neglect. Then as I visited quite frequently, she seemed to be alot clearer of her surroundings and her overall condition. She asked my oldest boy to write down her requests and wanted the list send to my sister. Some of the things requested were 1) a warm blanket instead of a moving blanket. 2) her own phone so she could talk to people who called herself (she was tired of everyone telling her that there was no need to worry, everything was taken care of ) 3) she wanted to know where her purse was and wanted some cash money 4) she wanted a new doctor, a massage therapist. 5) she wanted to be moved to convalescent home. My sister didnt provide any of the requested items. On August 21st, 2015, I tried to RESCUE MY MOTHER, AFTER SHE STATED THAT THEY WERE ALL TRYING TO KILL HER. MY Sister falsified a California Health Care Directive that she gave to the police. The police officer said that the only reason I wasn’t going to jail was because he said the ink was still wet on the CHCD . But my sister was able to convince the police to return my mother to her possession and to the Hospice Home. My mother told the police she didnt want to be removed from my care. That she had made a mistake giving my sister Power of Attorney. But the police said my mother had “NO RIGHTS” and she had to do what my sister said. My sister got a restraining order against me. My mother died two months later while under my sisters care. Im assuming at my sisters house. I still dont know exactly how she died. My sister arranged a 30 minute viewing of my mother. Which actually was a 30 minute I.D.ing of her body. Then had her embalmed and 4months later cremated then secretly flew my mothers ashes to Colorafo To be buried with her mother. I tried to coordinate a service for my mother including all of our relatives in Colorado with my mothers sister but my sister has everyone in a hypnotic state and my aunt completely ignored my requests to be there when my mom was buried or for any service of any kind. Everything my sister did – All of her actions were directed to me. She has a physopathic personality. My sister had no love for our Mother and no remorse when she did. It was obvious in the way she handled her death. I strongly feel that she killed our mother. And now she has taken control of our mothers estate. She should be charged with elderly abuse and fraud. Who is her next victim. “HER HUSBAND” that just retired with a healthy pension plan. God I hope not.
I applaud Kerri for her efforts on behalf of those of us who have been denied the opportunity to visit ailing parents in the end stages of their lives.
After reading the March 16, 2016 LA Times article about Kerri’s and Catherine Falk’s foundations, I was moved to tell my brief story.
I, too, was forbidden access to my dying Mother’s bedside before she succumbed to stomach cancer in 1993. Although we had a long-term strained relationship, I desperately wanted to make peace with my Mother before she passed. It is, after all, never too late to forgive someone. My efforts were repeatedly blocked by a sister who told an uncle attempting to intercede on my behalf that she would “Make your life difficult for you” if I tried to visit my Mother.
I was ultimately told of my Mother’s death two weeks after her passing. To this day, some 23 years later, I have not been informed of when and where my Mother was buried. No family member should ever be allowed to block the visitation rights of someone attempting to see a parent who is in their final days of life.
Thank you, Kerri, for your noble efforts. Please continue the good fight!
I read the LA Times “Dad, dying” on 3/16/16 and researched the Kasem Care website. I have 4 close relatives that have been victimized with POA’s.
1-Father in law had living trust. Ten days after the death of his 3rd wife – his 3 stepdaughters took him to an attorney and convinced him to change the trust with a POA. The assets from his estate were re-allocated and my husband (his only child) was effectively “disinherited.” Due to my father-in-laws peculiar behavior, we asked to see a copy of the trust. He finally provided my husband with a copy. It was taken to an estate planning attorney who advised us that the POA gave all the assets and health care directives to his step daughters. The attorney advised the only recourse was a court battle. When my father-in-law was asked about the POA – he insisted it was not his signature (it was notarized by the attorney setting up the POA). He also claimed that the step sisters had promised to divide the property fairly with my husband. My father in-law was 84 years old and had dementia. The step daughters moved into his home – although promising to provide him care (meals & cleaning), it was never done. My father-in-law became depressed and hospice was called.
My husband was called too. The stepsisters wanted him present to conduct the death watch; they did not want that responsibility (they were adults when he married their mother). My husband complied and comforted his father who died shortly afterwards. The funeral was planned 2 days later and my husband was not advised or invited.
A court case ensued and $30k later, the step sisters prevailed. The POA was upheld by the Probate judge – the trust was superseded by a POA randomly drawn up by step relatives without his blood relative’s knowledge or consent.
I mistakenly shared this situation with my step-mother – you guessed it!!!!
2-Casey Kasem situation repeated, all done with a POA. My stepmother finally inherited from her mother and decided to travel the world. She put my father in a facility. I offered to take my Dad into our home – he had pre-Alzheimers. His only issue was forgetfulness – he was fully functional and had lived with us for 10 years already. My stepmother would not allow it and ceased communication with me except to reprimand me by email. She banned me from the facility and stated I could only have monitored visits in a common area. He could not leave the facility with me to take him to lunch. There was no communication with me from then on. The staff approached me and stated her demands were illegal but they had no choice – she controlled the $$. My father was placed in a Florida facility; my stepmother did provide me with a copy of the comprehensive POA. I am in CA; I did sneak visits to him but it became very expensive and cumbersome. We talked on the phone daily for several years. In the last conversation he insisted I come see him – he was adamant. I did not have the time or resources to do same. Two days later I was notified by email that he was being hospitalized with pneumonia. He died 2 weeks later at the age of 86, a very confused and lonely man. I was advised the funeral and burial were “private”. All this again done with a POA; no prior notification to his living relatives (the stepmother never raised us). I do understand that a spouse has precedence over children. I did not pursue this legally – too expensive and I learned my lesson with POA’s and Probate Court.
3-My brother is brain damaged from a car accident 40 years ago. He was living independently for 30 years. I filed a lawsuit and obtained a settlement for him which was placed in an irrevocable trust. My parents, along with my family, assisted my brother. Subsequently, my mother, who developed dementia was exploited by my absentee sister who……you guessed it!!! Got a POA on my mother AND my brother. She took a page out of my stepmother’s playbook (and had direct assistance and advice from her). My mother “disinherited me” at my sister’s encouragement. My sister and I have not had a conversation (except by chance) for 10 years. She has terminated all contact with me.
At my father’s request, my mother and I reunited after 3 years. I regularly visited my demented mother at my grandfather’s home (she was indigent). My mother had a fatal heart attack with me and died in my arms. When the paramedics arrived – I could not tell them anything about my mother or her medications. All that info was withheld from me. My sister never provided a copy of the POA to me.
4-My brother was put in a facility by my sister shortly before my mother’s death. My mother requested I monitor his care as my sister was not responsible. I did so; I am the closest to my brother and raised him from 3 years old to adulthood. We are less than 1 ½ years apart. Another saga began.
He was moved to various facilities – due to my brother’s brain damage. He was always mad and frustrated. My brother continually asked where his money was and disclosed to anyone that listened that my sister “stole” his $$. He was always dismissed or ignored. I became more involved in his care (or lack of care). He was in So. CA facilities so I could monitor him on a weekly basis. What I saw and experienced was concerning. When I would talk to the Administrators, they advised me I had no rights and could not request info regarding his care or prognosis – there was a POA on him. Both my brother and I requested a copy but one was never provided. Long story short – he had pneumonia & was moved to another facility but when I called because I had not heard from him (we talked at least twice a day), the staff stated he was there and doing fine. None of this was true. I watched my bother dissinegrate first hand. I called everyone; begged everyone for assistance. I was stonewalled at every turn – that POA!!! I even had my brother rescind the POA. No one listened or cared. I was advised to report this to the police (right!!); all his $$ disappeared. After the death of our father, he inherited $$ which went through probate so I had an idea of what he had in assets – and – it was a matter of public record.
As a last resort, I sent a registered letter to my sister’s husband at his place of employment and was provided with a copy of the POA. It had been established 3 years prior and to my shock and surprise – I was listed as the alternate POA for his health care. There was no alternate on his financial POA; just my sister as primary. I guess being the alternate is meaningless; the facility still refused to share any info with me (at my sister’s request) – meanwhile, my brother developed a bed sore and deteriorated further.
Just over a year ago, he was taken out the facility by my sister and moved to another state – Arizona. I made formal complaints with all the CA investigative agencies. The results were all “unfounded” – that POA is gospel. Again, a POA was drawn up without notification to the blood relatives by one conniving relative who obtained access to his health care decisions and $$. There is simply no enforceable recourse (handling both health care directives and $$ without an audit is contradictory).
In Arizona, my brother was put on welfare. I advised anyone that would listen that he has assets!!! No one cares. I advised all the investigative agencies I could find but have to assume nothing was or will be done. I have never heard a disposition. My initial contact with investigators was contentious and that POA always prevails. I submitted a recension of the first POA but never heard back from the Arizona facility. All contact with my brother has been terminated once he went on welfare. The Administrator at the facility stated I was welcome to come and comfort him but would not be allowed access to a copy of the current POA or medical status per my sister.
My brother’s daughter (yes, he has a high functioning adult daughter but no seems to care about that either) and I will be visiting him next week. I have no expectations – we have no input and for all we know, he is deceased. All because of this POA nonsense.
I realize the POA is a convenient short cut for lawyers and a boon to their estate planning business. It needs to be monitored. The abuse is outrageous. I have experienced all this in the last 10 years. I cannot be the only one who has encountered this problem. I obtained 2 conservatorships on my grandparents (my mother was not capable of caring for her own parents) and witnessed firsthand the thoroughness of the Conservatorship procedure. All relatives are invited to the hearing and there is full disclosure.
I realize this is family dysfunction at its best but there is really no recourse – I have tried and am $30k poorer as a result. The POA abuse must be addressed, monitored, modified and ideally stopped.
Thanks for listening.
I am the oldest of 8 children. While our father was in the hospital dying last year the youngest of us, instead of helping with our father, decided to start keeping our grieving mother from us In fact she was at his house when she fell and became incompacitated three days before our father passed.He was able to keep us from seeing her for 2 months after that. We called adult protective, sold things we had to get a hearing and he still ended up as a health care proxy. He is ordered to let us know our mothers condition but doesnt. We still dont know her diagnosis or prognosis, just that she is getting worse in front of our eyes and cannot communicate with us. Her court appointed lawyer doesnt do anything and the judge doesnt enforce the order. He was also ordered twice to return her jewelry and other items he admitted to taking from her home but has yet do so. This is happening in Syracuse, NY. What are we told? Pay another lawyer and file again, costing us anywhere from 3 to 6 thousand dollars we dont have. I hope this law passed in NY soon before its too late for us too.
There are a lot of stories to be shared but? I feel bad when I see elderly people treated bad. and not getting the quality of life that they deserve.
SAVE JONATHAN -My brother Jonathan is a victim of San Diego Corrupt Judicial system, consisting of doctor psychiatrists,incompetent and corrupt attorneys and likewise judges and of course County counsel and the Public Conservators. Jon was diagnosed at Harvard with Manic Depressive disease at age 17. Since that time he has completed college with a BA in math but has limited working time which makes him stuck with the insurance Medical and Medicare B and Social Security, He is now 66. He has only had a LPS conservator once before for a three month hospitalization and that was me his sister an RN and an attorney in 2005. He has never been in trouble with the law nor a danger to others. This is not the diagnosis that is usually targeted. Scripps mercy Hospital a catholic Hospital in San Diego had it in for Jon and warned him two years prior by Dr Seymour psychiatrist. Any other disease other then mental disorder they have no control over. Unfortunately we did not take their warning as seriously as we should have. He had to be hospitalized in 2015 from August 14th and they would not let him go until they got him conserved. They overdosed him with Zyprexia a antipsychotic and even had two brut security guards hold him down while they injected him with Zyprexia against his will. he refused the medication. They had no right to do this as there was no permanent conservatorship yet even though the conservator labeled his file that he had one. Jon had a right to refuse. The psychiatric advocate sat back and watched this and did not cite Scripps Mercy until Jon was transferred for months his name was Mike Phillips . Jon was under temporary conservatorship for three months which is two month longer then is allowed so he was falsely imprisioned for a extraordinary length of time being mistreated by Dr Lian.
Dr Jon Highum Jon’s outpatient psychiatrist said Jon was a burden to the medical system and that why Scripps did this as the doctor were not getting enough money nor the hospitals for Jon’s 30 visits since he was 17 years old. I said that too bad I am sure you get plenty of money from other patients and Jon cannot help it as he has a genetic disease. You could not do this to a diabetic who used the hospital for his illness so why a person with bipolar disease? Are we back to the days of Hitler or go to the back of the bus? Mental Illness carries with it a enormous stigma to this day and institutions are still used. Jon permanent conservator ship hearings when they did occur were a joke. the public defender was in bed with counsel for the conservator and the Judge ‘s staff had ex parte communication which I have prove of with Jon’s attorney. Jon’s attorney turned on Jon. He did not present evidence of third part support which is a necessary element of grave disability not existing. All people with illness can survive with third party support. He allowed them to put the family on trial. He acting like he was on the side of the public conservator and did not represent the clients interest, was totally inept and corrupt. The judge decided gravely disabled prior to my testimony which would have made it unconstitutional AND IN VIOLATION OF THE LAW. Ihad another attorney there with me. I had two POA’s that stated that I was to be Jon’s conservator if he needed one. The judge appointed the public conservator anyway. He used the wrong standard and it was obvious he was prepped.
I insisted that the public defender Ziegler bring a jury trial. He said to me F____ you I am done. I brought the demand for Jury trial and the court file stamped it. However they later crossed it out and said the judge is denying it now. I said save a copy and I will be back. The clerk said she will set a hearing for Wednesday. In the meanwhile he had his staff email and call the public defender which is ex parte contact against the rules of ethics for Judges and attorneys. I have these email as I was eventually ordered on as Jon’s attorney for a jury trial that had to come in 10 day.s in the meanwhile I got the confidential file which was loaded with slanderous lies about our family reversing who is the criminal here they are. Jon is a Human Being. There Job was to take Jon out of the system and lock him away forever so no hospital will be financially challenged by a frequent low pay patient which is also against the law. I got three doctors under subpoena and got Jon friends and the advocate who investigated the battery regarding the brut security guards holding Jon down to force an intramuscular antipsychotics on him which is a battery, a a crime. They were over drugging him so he would be their little lamb living at their hospital while they conspired for his demise. he became depresssed, l the sparkel in his eye and his humor. The jury trial was to start in 10 days but we got Judge HOWARD SHORE THE BIGGEST MOST ARROGANT CROOK IN THE COURT HOUSE. He decided it would be more fun putting me on trial, a medical malpractice advocate who will not be silenced. So he granted the attorney for the conservators motion I had not even read yet kicking me off as counsel in violation of the Calif rules of professional conduct and a corrupt move as the standard of proof for an LPS conservatorship is a criminal standard. The client has the right to the attorney he wants and I have won over 33 million dollars in settlement and jury trials for my clients over the years so I have the experience. This was a violation of Jon’s constitutional rights. Judge Shore threw me off replacing me with the crooked public defender Ziegler who fired himself. The very person Stone ordered me to replace is back again so i had no choice but to have the counsel who helped me with the court trial be attorney for Jon providing he follow my outline and submit my jury instructions. Shore continued the trial out passed the statutory period so I lost the availabiity of my doctors I had under subpoena. Haskett , who had an attorney client relationship with me, also now had a n attorney client relationship with Jon. Haskett already received some discipline from the State Bar, never did a jury trial and the only reason I would let him do this is the short notice and the fact that he was to follow my instructions. Shore told him he could not discuss what happened and would happen in the trial with me or take his instruction from me so he had a conflict and he should have withdrawn at that time. However he did not but was so ineffective and unprepared and crooked and just plain incompetent that he called his client Jon Haskett, his last name. he presented no doctors , refused to present the witnesses i subpeoed. He put on Jon pastor friend on for five minutes, allowed our family and me to be embarrassed, called criminals with no warning at all. He did no voir dire, little opening argument and was totally ineffective. He could not even get one vote. He allowed Jon to be brought to trial everyday on a gurney, accompanied by two paramedic and a nurse making him look dangerous or gravely disabled. I was not allowed in the Court room but they were to influence the jury. He also sentenced Jon who gave coherant testimony again to a locked skilled nursing facility under the total control of a shady, once subject to grand jury investigation, public conservatorship Ellen Schmedling. She immedatley took Jon out of Mercy transferred him 55 miles from his home and put him in a double locked institution Vista KNoll in Vista California in a ward with no social communication with the other patients as 99% have dementia. He walked fine with a walker , very fast. They took it away from confined him to a wheelchair to instill learned helplessness in him. They do everything for him. he is an object to them. We found a sign at the nursing station Jon Sussman is to talk to no one but the conservator. When confronted with the sign they lied about it and now he can have some eased dropped phone calls that are recorded. They intercept his mail. These psychiatric rights to not go to the conservator. Right to socialization does not and he has a right not to be with dementia patients. They are over drugging him with anti psychotic medicine so his mouth sounds like it has cotton in it and he is now losing his memory do to the over drugging. If we do not stop this 100% of there patients will have dementia as long time use of anti psychotics cause lose of IQ points and dementia. Jon has given up all hope. They are killing my brother so he will never cost the hospital system any money again. Vista Knoll gets Medical, Social security and Medicare and Jon gets no money at all. Please help me get media attention to help my brother or he will be institutionalized forever. The courts are not being cooperative and Jon and I am suffering . The court ignoring me show that they are string to put me out of the system as an attorney as well as banish Jon from society. Can You help me get some Media attention. I have reported this to the regulatory boards but you know their just like sheep guarding the hens house. Nancy Sussman 619-231-1215
I have read about the new bill that could assist with visiting rights of adult children of ailing parents. Thank you dearly for all of your work and I want to be a part of any efforts to assist. I also am reaching out to share my situation. My stepfather as POA has restricted my visitation with my mother without justification. She suffers from advanced Parkinson’s disease and dementia, and resides at an assisted living in Annapolis. After much research and seeking legal counseI regarding my circumstances I have been advised that there is nothing I can do, and that I have no rights as a loving daughter to rightfully visit with, or comfort my mother as her disease progresses.
I grew up in the Annapolis area where I live part time again care-taking my mother while I reside and work in NYC. I freelance in order to travel down every other week for several days to comfort and spend time with her. It is difficult and costly, yet necessary for her peace of mind, and my own. I love spending time with her, even in these difficult circumstances of ambiguous loss and I feel grateful that we are close. The needs of residents at the Assisted Living are not met as there are not enough caregivers and care is limited. My other family members are barely there or available to spend quality time. My mother is physically weak, cannot express her needs, is incontinent, has fear and anxiety, and can’t walk on her own without falling. The time we share improves her emotional well-being, lifts her spirits, and temporarily eases her brutal physical symptoms.
The home convinced my stepfather to only restrict me from her room for now when he tried to ban me entirely. Recently, after my mother came back from a hospital visit, I was not allowed to enter in to be by her side to ease her confusion. It may only be a matter of time where I could be kept from her entirely. My stepfather is unstable having Manic Depression. He suffers from Alcoholism with Addiction, as he juggles meds for his mental illness combined with other health problems. He’s led a mostly functioning life since he is educated, accomplished and intelligent . When I witnessed him physically and mentally abusing my mother in recent years, I reached out to family and they dismissed me. Having exposed him, his actions are vindictive toward me at my mother’s expense and his POA still stands.
It is impossible to get gaurdianship. My sister made a strong attempt to do so and failed, advised that it would be too difficult and costly. Despite my stepfather’s problems, and acts of harassment toward me, he has the power to ban me from my own mother without justification. The love and care she needs from me is dire for her more comfortable progression. I share this sad story so the laws will change. It must be understood how urgent and devastating the current situation is for adult children with specific situations of POA abuse. To not even be able to hold her hand, comfort her, or ultimately stay by her side in sickness or her eventual death is beyond any form of grief she and I could face. In the meantime, her disease is progressing for the worse. I am grateful for your time on this. Thank you for any correspondence regarding the bill or relating to these matters.
My father is currently a victim of financial and mental abuse. It is a nightmare.
We are going to court next week in Seattle, WA. Elderly victim has been kept isolated in a rest home for more than a year. Good son, her siblings, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren have all been kept from visitation. The evil son has guardianship. She must feel that her family has abandoned her! NOT TRUE. Evil son gets to use her money to cover attorney fees. We scrape together money for costs of going to court and travel expenses, etc. God please help us. We pray that this injustice we’ll be righted before our dear relative passes on.
My mother passed from pancreatic cancer and my father was diagnosed with alzheimers and diabetic. My brother and I were left to care for my father. As per my mothers wishes my brother and I were to care for his needs for the future. We both understood what was to be expected since my grandmother was also diagnosed years ago. Grandma lived in the house with us as we grew up. So we fully know what is to come. I work 3 blocks from the house and see my father almost evryday for lunch and/or talk on the phone. Even ewhen he had hurricane sandy hit my father lived in my house for a short time. My home has been always open to him, even to live with us if he ever wanted to. One day when I visited dad I found a strange woman at the house, seems my brother decided that his old evicted cleaning lady needed a place to live and she moved in as his “health care aid”. She had no training at all, she was prviously the cleaning lady at my brothers old house. With in the month he was hospitalized for diabetic coma. I found out he was in hospital from the neighbor who road over with him to hospital. The"cleaning lady" was not allwoded to call me by my brother. At this point I find out that my brother made my father turn the house into his name. Also had dad give him and his wife power of attorney over his life. Completely cutting me out. My childrens college funds that mom and dad setup were changed into his name. When I tried to visit dad and get to the bottom of whats happenning., I was given an order of protection against dad and him. The order was completely made up and false. Made it to the judge and was thrown out of the courts. My children cant visit him due to the “Cleaning lady in house and her family that is moving into the house”. I tried to talk to lawyers but I have no funds to pay them. Everyday I drive by the house since I pass everyday to work just hoping I can see him in the door. I have a right to see my dad, my children have a right to see there grandpa. He is captive in the house. His car he owns and has registered is driven by the woman. His phone is disconnected so no one can call him.
The bill needs to pass
I’m living in small town called Jimma in Ethiopia. In that small town there are more than 132 poorest elderlies who are deprived of basic services living on street. I with my friends organized local donors to support at least 20 of them. Their living condition and life history is really health-touching. But we can change if we can move in harmony. If you can expand your program here I’m ready to voluntarily work with you. because that’s my VISION!
this summer my mother’s legal guardian had me was arrested because i would not leave my dying mother’s bedside. i spent the afternoon and evening in jail and was released with the agreement that i would appear at an arraignment the next morning at 8 a.m. i was told i would be arrested again if i tried to go back to her bedside. the guardian called me at 4 a.m. to tell me mother had died. i told him i was going over to see her and he said you will be arrested if you do. i got in my car and drove over. a police car met me. he said i had permission to see her for fifteen minutes and would be arrested again if i stayed longer. i stayed for an hour a security guard was outside the door. i stayed for an hour. no one would tell me what time she died or whether she had regained consciousness at the end or whether she had been in pain. the corner was there – even though her death was expected and no one wold tell me why. i left her body two hours later and made my 8 a.m. court arraignment. i pleaded not guilty and went directly to the funeral home to finish the arrangements – i wanted to take her ‘home’ which was a few hours away – to the cemetary where her family was buried. from the moment of her death, no one cared about what happened to her – the guardian who had me arrested no longer had any power over her. i made arrangements and paid for the funeral and took her home.
my heart is still in shock. this happened on july 8 of 2015 and the unjustness of the event has thrown me to a place where i no longer believe in anything or anyone.
My name is Tammy Budgins and I live in Germantown, Wisconsin. My father had an aneurysm and suffered several strokes and has been in and out of the hospital/nursing home for the past 10 years. Over the last several years, I was able to visit him at the day care center where he stayed during the day throughout the week. I visited him at least once every week for those 10 years and daily if he was hospitalized. Ever since I voiced my concerns to my mother regarding his care and the situation at home, we do not speak. My mother recently could not afford to send him to the nursing home and now he is living at home with her full time and with another male companion. I do not know this individual, he is a stranger that they met at a casino and he now lives with them rent free. You can imagine why I’m concerned. Now, my mother is solely caring for my dad and will not allow anyone to speak to him or see him. She is diabetic and in very poor health and needs to use a walker to get around.
Due to my dad’s frequent hospitalizations, I never knew whether he was at home, at the hospital, or in a nursing home. I would have to call around to nursing homes to see if my dad was there because my mother would not tell me where he was. I made weekly phone calls to the hospital to see if he was admitted and if he was, my mother blocked me and all family members from receiving any information on his well being. One time I called the hospital and learned that he was just admitted to the ICU. Due to my mother’s instruction, they could not disclose any information to me. I spent the entire next 2 days wondering if he was dead or alive. I can’t even explain how horrible it was knowing that my father was dying and that I wasn’t able to be by his side to comfort him and to say good bye!
I haven’t seen or spoke to my father in over 3 months now. I have no idea how he is doing and no way of finding out. For my own sanity, I have had to put this aside and come to terms that I most likely will never get to see him again before he dies. My last visit unbeknownst to me was the last time I may ever see him. I love him dearly and we really became close. Time is running out and the only hope I have to see him again is if the legistration for House Bill 43 (allowing visitation rights) is passed in Wisconsin. Not only should it be passed in the state of Wisconsin but throughout the entire United States so something like this will never happen again to anyone else. A Guardian should be the person to protect the wishes of an ailing person, but they should not have the authority to strip them of all of their rights!
Please, please pass House Bill 43!!!
Thank you for your time.
For over 33 years The Foundation Aiding The Elderly www.4fate.org has assisted over 6000 families, at no charge, in the fight against elder abuse
I am writing to you on behalf of a friend who is having difficulties with seeing and speaking to his mother because his sister who has the power of attorney has him tied up in legal knots. She has set up certain times when he can see or talk to her at the facility where she lives (Country Winds Manor in Cresco, IA. ) But most of the time when he calls, the staff won’t put his calls through to his mom; or they listen in on an extension line to what’s being said! He just recently saw her for the first time since his birthday in August of last year. She had a Christmas gift for him. My friend has contacted Senator Rob Hogg regarding Senate File#306 and has been told that his sister is operating outside the scope of her powers by preventing them from communicating with each other. The person who told him that was Iowa Legal Aid staff attorney Mr. Jason Burdick. He does have a copy of the document that was sent to him. I know he believes that it was a very great thing that a persona such as Ms. Kasem developed this bill which became law to protect people from having family members kept apart simply because 1 or 2 people want all the control! He is a member of a protected class of people because of a disability further making his sister’s behavior even more illegal and reprehensible under the A.D.A. which is a federal law which somehow nobody seems to be paying attention to! This man’s sister is a bully, working at a job she hates; but still managing to convince their mother she is simply looking out for her best interests of all things! He has contacted several agencies looking for help in this matter; and so far they are telling him they don’t have the time or the staff to assist him! Please Ms. Kasem; if you know of someone who can help my friend please contact him. His address is 514 5th Ave. W. Apt. 24 in Cresco, IA. 52136. His phone number is 563-203-0720. Or you can send him an E-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. He does prefer physical mail or a voice mail; he does check them often. He will be very thankful to receive assistance with this issue for we both feel it has gone on far too long already!! P.S. I was a certified Geriatric Nurse’s Aide years ago, my father was Administrator of 2 different facilities, and my mother was an administrative assistant so there is knowledge of care facilities in our past. My friend has been a police officer with training from R.C.T.C. in Rochester, MN. All he’s asking for is some help in evening out the scales of justice! I want to assure you that I am a qualified source of information in this matter; and I have known this man for almost 16 years!
My mother’s husband died, after death his daughter has signed her property in her name,has sold her car,has control over finishes, now waiting to put her In a convalescent home,keeping her lock away from everyone. I need help ASAP.
hi,my name is Kathy Alexander..I was very close to my parents,Newton Cyril Alexander,& my Mom Joyce Rosalie Alexander.They last lived in Claremont California.I lived in Northern,ca from 1979-2003.I had been 100% disabled in 2000,due to a back injury sustained at work.from the time I was born until 2013,I spent every Christmas with my parents,and every birthday,every minute I could spend with them I did.My brother,Michael Newton Alexander & his wife Stephanie Alexander,for whatever reason,quit speaking to my parents,from 1992-2002.
My brother Michael is an intl attorney,in Saudi Arabia.His wife Stephanie shops!They have 4 children.Mandie C.Paredez,of Henderson,Nv,Elizabeth Rose Alexander McKenna,Carter Michael Alexander of Behrain,& Caitlin Emily Alexander.My Mom became ill in Oct of 2012.My Dad,was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease years ago.When my Mom,ended up in ICU,on Dec 11,2012.Prior I had spent 2 weeks with my parents,this was the last thanksgiving,I would spend with them together.My Mom was in Renal Failure,by Dec.12th of 2012,I new something was wrong with me then,it took everything I had to go see her.It was so hard to see a woman that drove,and was independent,to not being able to write her own name.I suffered a nervous breakdown.during this time.Prior to Moms hospitalization,I voluntarily admitted myself to Redlands Hospital,in Redlands ca,for psychiatric care.At the time of my Moms hospitalization,even though I was not close to my brother nor my sister in law,I had put a call out to them.Stephanie called back,& spoke to my Dad,but was reluctant to talk to me.I begged her for help,& she came thru with flying colors.She was in California,at the time.she always came there in October,to get ready for the holidays,as two of her children live in Henderson ,Nevada,one lived in Fullerton,Ca..as well as their grandchildren.
Even though Stephanie had taken on taking care of my Mom,while she was in Pilgrims place,in Claremont,ca…I still had some skeptisisim.After all where were they for 20 years?Why did they not allow my parents to see their grandchildren?It wasn’t until I contacted Mandie,my oldest niece,during the time of the horrible wildfires of 2002,I was living up North,& couldn’t get to Southern Ca, because of the fires,my parents lost their home,& everything in it.Mandie lived close by,& went & checked their house.It was burnt to the foundation.My parents were in Laughlin,nevada,at the time.I spoke with Mandie on the phone,& told her to get hold of my brother Mike,tell him there had been a family tragedy,& that he needed to get home & be with my parents,who were now in Palm springs,ca living in an extended stay.He flew out 2 days later,his whole family showed up there to be with my parents.
That was the first contact they had had in years.From there on,until my Mom died in Sept 2013,my parents relationship with Michael & Stephanie had seemingly improved.During the time.My parents,had fixed their will to where I was the executor,I was POA for financial,& POA for Healthcare,I was also to receive all the contents of my parents home,checking & saving accts,both of their retirement pensions.All of this would be put into a medical trust to help me with any rehab,surgeries,any medical needs I had.after they were both deceased. But by the summer of 2013,I wasn’t improving mentally.& my brother at this time was made,Executor,POA of financial,& Stephanie POA of Healthcare.Which at the time,I felt was fine, My Mom had insisted that we go pick up all of her jewelry,& take it home.Also she told me prior to MY hospitalization,she started crying & told me that she wanted me to have her wedding ring…About a week after we got the suitcase with her jewelry in it ,then I received a call from Michael,that we to return the suitcase immediately!!I don’t know why I let him intimidate me!!didn’t realize that they would take that suitcase & all the jewelry in it!I then asked Stephanie where my Moms wedding ring was,& she said she had it.I told her mom wanted me to have it…a few weeks went on,& I called her again,She didn’t return my call,but Dad said,that Elizabeth had taken it to get it sized for me!!!She didn’t know my size!!I called her and she said she doesn’t have the ring!!So my MOMS WISHES were NEVER GRANTED. Also Caitlin was living at my parents home ,she told me that when we took the Kinkade pictures with my Dad,that Stephanie said,those were her pictures!!!!!!!!None of those were hers!!My Dad told us before we moved to get anything we wanted out of the house,especially those pictures!!Because they were beautiful,& also worth a lot of money.Stephanie told my Dad that we sold them.They are all up on our walls,with the exception of the 4 Stephanie took.She also had the locks changed,but she failed change the lock on the backdoor!!So Joy & some of our friends,,went in and took some chairs,& a few other things,& left the rest.Which there was a lot left.But since I found the will,it wasn’t signed by Dads atty ,nor anyone.I already have a medical set aside for my back,from workmans comp.But alot of things were missing from their home already.About a week or more,prior to my Moms death,I again admitted myself ,this time to Riverside Behavioral Hospital,in which I was treated for grief,because I was grieving prior to Moms death.I got to see my Mom,one more time,& she looked & acted the best she ever had,since her illness.
Prior to this,we were making payments to my Dad,for what was supposed to be our home eventually….but sometime that summer after the will had changed to my brother being in charge,my Dad refinanced the home,& took out a large amount of equity,without telling us,I knew my brother had told him to do it,by this time,we could tell my Dad was starting to be controlled by Mike & Stephanie.Our house payment went up,we could not afford this much longer.They were starting to control everything,not only my Dads financial& healthcare,but all the way to our family dog,Rocky.Also,my Dad was hospitalized about 6 weeks after my moms death,for Aspiration Pneumonia.I was with him when it happened,& called 911,& the ambulance took him to the hospital.I was at his house for a week,went and saw him everyday.then I went home..as he was transferred to Pilgrims place to recover.The next thing that I found out was,that Dad was going to be moving to an Assisted living place called Pacifica,senior living in Henderson,Nv.months later.where it was a lot cheaper tor him to live,vs California,plus some of the grandkids lived about 5 minutes fm him.It all sounded well,& good.But we were going to have to move,because we couldn’t afford these high housepayments,& I couldn’t qualify,anywhere in California,for enough money to buy or even rent a home.Dad knew this.He even insisted before he moved,that we take him to the bank to get things out of his security box,including all of his gold,which there were 25 1000 dollar gold coins,that he insisted he give us.We asked him several times,to make sure he wanted to do this,& he told us yes,& he told the banker yes.He was giving it to us to move.Prior to this,he insisted that we go to his home,& take all the Kinkade paintings,for ourselves.He even went with us one time to get some of them,even though Pilgrims place told us,that if we took him from pilgrims place,just to go to dinner , they would call Stephanie to get permission for us to take him anywhere,or they would call the police!!!!It was then,that we truly knew that he was being intimidated & controlled.
I went to Henderson Nevada,to see my Dad,one more time before we moved.Pacifica,was a very nice place,where Dad really liked it there.We were talking to Dad every 2-3 days,& sent him cards weekly..my Dad wanted to remarry,but Michael & Stephanie wouldn’t let him.My brother said “Quit acting like a schoolboy”.I told my Dad I was all for it!!!!!!!!!!!.some months had passed,& he was placed in Kindred ,Flamingo Hospital.Spoke with each other all the time…..the case manager,had told me in May of 2015,that since he was in a nursing home environment,that his health status,couldnt be kept from us….then in September of 2015,we had made plane,hotel & car reservations..I had called my Dad that Sunday,that we would be flying to Nevada, for a week,to see him.He was so excited.Then I called him Weds,and when the nurses station answered the phone,they told me that STEPHANIE,had told the entire staff,,that they weren’t allowed to give me..any information.,even the case manager told me this..I called APS,& ELDER LAW in Nevada .They told me there was nothing they could do!!!I spent money,trying to find my Dad,on BEENVERIFIED.COM,INTELLIUS.COM&CHECKMATE.COM.IT showed the last place my dad lived was CLAREMONT,CA.IT ALSO SHOWED THAT MY MOM,LIVED WITH MY NIECE ELIZABETH UNTIL HER DEATH AT 77 YRS OF AGE.MY MOM DIED WHEN SHE WAS 75.Since this time,my DAD called twice…once on OCT.6 2015 on his birthday & again, on THANKSGIVING DAY….BUT THAT DAY,STEPHANIE TOLD JOY THAT WE HAD 5 mins..& that if we mentioned her name once,SHE WOULD HANG UP THE PHONE.MY DAD WAS CALLING FM HER CELLPHONE,& BEING PROMPTED ON WHAT TO SAY TO US.WHEN WE ASKED HIM IF HE COULD TELL US WHERE HE WAS,HE SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!HE SAID HE WAS A RESIDENT..THAT WAS ALL.Its hard to understand my Dad sometimes…..but after he said that,he said BYE then the phone went dead….Everything it says on here about the person being scared,,,intimidated,humiliated,being dependent on them,the whole scenario is my Dad& what he is going through.He is close to end stage Parkinsons,he needs to be able to talk to me,Im his only Daughter & his only hope!These people are controlling my Dad,everything he wants,everything he does,is what THEY WANT HIM OR WILL ALLOW HIM to do.The kids wont tell me where he is,nor my parents friends,not even my Moms sister….Its because they have THREATENED HIM & THEM. I received a call,from someone,that told me my Dad was being put on Medicaid…what happened to my dads 4,000.00 pension??AND MY MOMS TIAA RETIREMENT FUND?IT SOUNDs Like Mike & Stephanie depleted it.Whats more what gave them the right,to take all my Moms Jewelry,& other things that we had given her…her wedding ring, the kinkade pictures,christmas items,that I had bought her,all the things we had bought my DadMost are gone!!!!!!!!!THIS IS ELDER ABUSE OF THE HIGHEST FORM!WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!MY DADS RIGHTS & OUR RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!HOW DO WE GET HELP TO TALK TO MY DAD,& SEE HIM WHEN WE HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO???PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!THIS IS WRONG!MY DAD NEEDS US!PLEASE HELP US!!!!!!!!!THANKS SO MUCH,KATHY & JOY ALEXANDER
HELLO, MY SITUATION DEALS WITH TRUSTED FINANCIAL ADVISORS/CONFIDANTS OF MY LATE HUSBAND KNOWING AND HAVING ACCESS TO HIS RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS ALONG WITH THE BUSINESS. KNOWING FIRST HAND I WAS A YOUNG STAY AT HOME MOM NEVER BEING INVOLVED IN ANY OF THE ABOVE I WAS MISLED AND HAVE BEEN DENIED MY CIVIL RIGHTS , ALONG WITH MY FINANCIAL SHARE AS LEGAL WIDOW AND MOTHER OF HIS ONLY TWO CHILDREN , BEING MINORS AT THE TIME OF HIS DEATH 17,13. I WAS PRESENTED A COPY OF A TRUST AND WILL COMPLETELY ONE SIDED, TOTALLY AGAINST ME, NAMING DAUGHTERS AS BENEFICIARIES, WHICH IS FINE. MY HUSBAND PASSED LAST YEAR, 10/3/14 AND TO DATE THERE HAS BEEN NO FILINGS WITH COURT, THEY’VE LIQUIDATED A PROPERTY IN AZ , TAKEN OVER MY HUSBANDS BUSINESS., NO TRUST TAX ID, PURCHASED AND PLACED A GRAVE STONE WITHOUT CONSIDERING /NOTIFYING OUR CHILDREN, WE ONLY FOUND OUT BY ACCIDENT. THE IRONY IS THAT ALL PARTIES INVOLVED HAVE NOT BEEN FOLLOWING CA TRUST LAWS, PROBATE LAW, CORPORATION ,MARRIAGE, TAX, AND DEPENDENT INFIVIDUAL LAW, MUCH LESS FOLLOWING THEIR WILL/TRUST" THAT THEY USED AGAINST ME.
I THINK IT WAS ALL A SCAM KNOWING I WAS OUT OF THE LOOP. MY HUSBAND TRUSTED THESE PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF US AND IT BACKFIRED. AFTER HIS PASSING WE DISCOVERED THE TRUTH , SO MY QUESTION IS NOW …HOW DO I ENFORCE MY RIGHTS?? THESE PEOPLE HAVE CONTROL OF ASSETS , MY HUSBANDS LONGTIME CPA, A “FAMILY FRIEND TO MY HUSBSND ”, AND A FORMER EMPLOYEE OF MY HUSBAND.
NO BUSINESS ASSETS WERE EVER TRANSFERRED, PRIOR TO HIS PASSING ,YET TRUSTEE OF PURPORTED TRUST IS NOW THE PRESIDENT OF MY HUSBANDS CORPORATION, MOVED OUT OF THE MODEST TOWN WE ALL LIVED IN AND MOVED UP TO A MORE AFFLUENT COMMUNITY WITHIN THE COUNTY ON A RETIREMENT INCOME ALL OF THE SUDDEN. MY HUSBAND FELL ON SEVERAL OCCASION S WHILE UNDER HER CARE, THE LADT FALL BROKE HIS SHOULDER AND IT WAS ALL DOWNHILL FROM THAT POINT, HE LASTED LESS THAN TWO MONTHS..
SHE’S GIVING US A MONTHLY ALLOWANCE ACCORDING TO HER OR THEIR BENEFIT, CITING SINCE WE ALREADY RECEIVE SSI IT’S ENOUGH ACCORDING TO HER. SHE ALSO SOLD A CAR THAT WAS INTEDED FOR OUR COLLAGE AGE DAUGHTER, STATING IT WAS A TRUST ASSET AND THERE WAS LIABILITY INVOLVED???
THIS IS JUST A PREVIEW!
MY HUSBAND DIED OF CANCER ORIGINATING FROM COLON , BUT MANIFESTING TO THE BRAIN CAUSING TUMORS IMPEDING HIS JUDGEMENT.
SIDE NOTE, THE CRIMINALS WERE ASSISTING MY HUSBAND WITH A LAWSUIT STEMMING FROM AN EMBEZZLEMENT CASE AT THE HANDS OF MY HUSBANDS LONGTIME ATTORNEY. CRIMINALS KNEW MY HUSBAND HAD A JUDGEMENT COMING AND WERE COMPLETELY INVOLVED IN THE LEGAL PROCESS CLAIMING TO “HELP”. IF THE CPA WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING HIS JOB, HE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT THE EMBEZZLEMENT YEARS AGO WHEN IT STARTED. THESE PEOPLE KNEW MY HUDBAND WASNT MENTALLY COMPETANT TO REDO A TRUST, AS 5 DAYS PRIOR TO THE
SIGNING OF TRUST IS WHEN HE FOUND OUT HIS LAWYER OF OVER 30 YEARS HAD EMBEZZLED OVER $100,000 FROM HIM, THIS KIND OF NEWS WOULD AFFECT ANYONE AT ANY AGE….. IT SOUNDS ALOT LIKE UNDUE INFLUENCE TO ME.
I STRONGLY AGREE THERE HAS TO BE SOME ENFORCEMENT, VERIFICATION, AUTHORIZATION BY SEVERAL INDIVIDUALS WHEN IT COMES TO THE CARE OF ELDERLY OR DEPENDENT INDIVIDUALS. MY SITUATION HAS TO DO WITH TRUSTED PROFESSIONALS , SORT OF A WHITE COLLAR CRIME, IF YOU WILL. PEOPLE CAN BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ON MANY LEVELS BY ANYONE, NOT JUST YOUR SPOUSE OR RELATIVE. PEOPLE DONT EVEN RESPECT DECEDENTS OMLY CHILDREN.
MY QUESTION TODAY IS, HOW CAN TAKE BACK WHAT IS LEGALLY OURS? I CANNOT HIRE A AN ATTORNEY DUE TO MY LIMITED FINANCES, I ONLY HAVE PROOF OF WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.
I HAVE COMPLAINED TO SEVERAL GOVERNMENT AGENCIES, INCLUDING ATTORNEY GENERAL AND ALL I’VE RECEIVED ARE RESPONSES SUGGESTING I HIRE AN ATTORNEY, IF I HAD THE MONEY, I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE……
I DON’T WISH THIS ON ANYONE AND I WOULD GLADLY SHARE MY STORY IN THE HOPES THAT WE CAN GET SOME HELP AND END THIS NIGHTMARE. MY HUSBAND HAD A PROMINENT RESTAURANT IN LA FOR OVER 30 YEARS AND HAD A FOLLOWING.